Hard Decision

Michael

Business is all I do, all I know how to do. I have four mansions and three companies with branches scattered all over. I have more than a thousand people working under me and I pay them well. All these I built on decisions and risks, high risks without once regretting it. Some decisions turned out bad but it didn't stop me one bit.

Yet, today I had to make the hardest decision of my life. How does a man chose whose life, between his wife's and child's, is more important?

I had to make that choice almost five hours ago. On first thought, I had chosen her but I knew that if I did and the baby died, she would never forgive me and I might lose her, still.

I stared at the green light above the door of the operating room, willing it to go red.

Oh Lord, I know I don't pray often, okay I know I only pray once on a while.... actually, I know I never prayed because I never had a reason to but please I beg you, save her also.

People always say that there is a God and right now, I'm choosing to believe that You exist and You hear me and will answer my prayer.

100....99....98....97....96....95.... I counted backwards, distracting myself from thinking that I may have just killed my wife.

A click sound, then a tone pierced the choking silence that had engulfed the hallway where we were waiting. Startled, I look up to see that the green light had gone red, making me spring to my feet. Few minutes go by before the doors open and two nurses roll out my wife.

"Vi? Vi!!!" I stopped the nurses, pushing them aside and taking her hands in mine, not failing to notice how pale they were. Not just her hand but her entire body, like there wasn't any blood flowing in her.

"Michael, she needs to be moved to the ICU. Please move aside, we have some things to discuss" Liam said to me, holding my shoulders firmly and pulling me aside.

Too weak to fight but not ready to let go, I tightened my grip when the nurses pushed her forward. As they move forward, I stretched my hand, wanting to hold her longer but eventually her hand slipped from mine and just like that, my heart broke into a million pieces.

"Did I kill her?" I asked, earning a gasp from Diana who threw out her hand and landed it on my face. I could feel the tears threatening to break through, not because of the slap but because of the pain clutching my heart.

Uncaring, I asked again. "Liam, did I kill my wife?" I could see the sadness in Liam's eyes and I just knew.

I sank to the floor, the tears finally breaking through the surface and rolling down my face. Hands came around me, engulfing me in an embrace as the soft sobs of Diana reached my ears.

"What's the word Doctor?" Larry asked while I struggled to calm down, at least enough to hear what Liam was about to say.

"We have done our best. The baby is premature and only needs to mature the rest of the--"

"I want to know about my wife, my wife!" I said, raising myself from the floor and pulling Diana along.

"I'm sorry but there isn't much we can do for Victoria. She suffered severe hemorrhage as a result of the iron that punctured one of her kidneys. We had to prioritise the life of the baby, who thank God was safe from the iron that penetrated Victoria's back. Although her heart beat had begun to slow down due to the whole trauma but we were able to stabilise her. Once we got the baby out of the way, we tried all we could to stop the bleeding and work on her kidney but by then, she had just lost too much blood. I'm so sorry but, she went into shock and we can't say for now till she wakes up. She is just too....weak. We did all we could, now we just have to watch her closely......"

He looked at me then slowly shook his head, tears building up in his eyes.

"I don't understand all you just said doctor, she will be okay, right?" Diana asked but I very well knew and understood all he said. My wife was most likely dying and I had sentenced her.

Unable to say anything, Liam looked at Diana helplessly. She shook her head wildly as realization dawned on her and immediately, she fainted.

"Can I get some help over here" Liam shouted. Wasting no time, he bent and scooped her up, running to the closest examination room.

I stood there like a statue, watching, unable to do anything. It was all like a movie, everything seemed so so far away. I felt my chest tighten then become heavy. I couldn't breath anymore, my lungs wouldn't take in air. Falling to the ground, I held my chest tightly as I struggled to breath, hot tears involuntarily running down my face.

A nurse came and crouched beside me, saying stuff I could not hear. Her mouth was moving but no sounds came out. She gave me a paper bag and signalled for me to take in deep breaths then out. Few minutes later, the knot in my chest was completely gone, air was flowing in and out perfectly and my hearing was back.

"Thank you" I simply said then got to my feet and walked away. I needed space, I needed air. I needed to be alone.

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"Ahhhhhhhhhh" I screamed thirty minutes later at the top of my lungs, tears spilling from my eyes, down my face and soaking my shirt.

I had somehow found myself on the roof of the hospital, I just needed to be away from everyone.

Exhausted from all the screaming, I lay on the floor, one hand placed over my eyes.

I still wanted to scream but my throat hurt like hell. I was stalling, I knew. Going to see her meant saying good bye which also meant I was accepting she was leaving me, and that I was not ready for.

Anger and a crushing pain were all I felt. Anger at everything and everyone, and the voice in my head that just won't go away. It just kept going on and on.

You killed her....I guess this is the promise you made to her, when you said YOU WILL NEVER LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO HER!

"Shut up, you think I don't know? I fucking killed the love of my life but what was I supposed to do?" I replied, my voice hoarse.

Uhhh....maybe not save the tiny human, she would have give you many more.

"And have her never forgive me? What's the point, she would have left me all the same".

Ya but at least she would be alive to give you a second chance. Now look what you went and did, Idiot.

Hahahahaha. I quietly laughed. She wasn't gone yet and I was already going insane.

"Seriously Mike, arguing with yourself? You really are done for". I said to myself.

What if you get here and I am already gone?

Vi's voice came to me like a silent wind and I sat up with a jerk, panic rising within me, overcoming me. "Vi?" I called out, causing my throat to sting more.

Fear of not being able to talk to her again, to say goodbye overtook me, pushing me to my feet and propelling me down flights of stairs.

Getting to the ninth floor, I ran through the hallway, bumping into people here and there till I reached the elevator just as a woman was getting off, and I got in.

Bringing out my key card, I inserted it into the key slot and a touch sensor keypad appeared.

I pressed 1 and 2, indicating I was going to the twelfth floor. The elevator churned then began to ascend.

9...10...11...12...

The elevator dinged then opened and I dashed for Liam's office. I didn't know the room Vi had been put in so I needed him to take me to her. I went past rooms and was almost passed the front desk when a nurse called out to me. I didn't answer at first but then another blocked my path, stopping me in my track.

"Sir, your hand is bleeding, I need to treat it".

My hand?

"I am fine" I said, attempting to walk around her but then she takes my hand and I freeze. Before I can say a word, she brings it up, showing me the blood trickling from gnashes on the back of my hand.

I was indeed bleeding but I wasn't about to be bothered with that.

"Get out of my way nurse, I'm fine". Taking my hand from her, I walked around her but then, turned right back to her. "What room is my wife, Vic--"

"Mrs Victoria Williams, I know but she is still...she still hasn't woken up yet so you can spare some few minutes and let me treat you. First, your hand can or could have gotten infected and second, you cannot go into the ICU like that" she said, pointing to an office.

"She is still here, Oh thank God". It calmed me down somewhat but it didn't at all stay my course. All I really wanted was just to see my wife before it was too late.

I opened my mouth to object again when a familiar voice stopped me, "Don't worry about him, I'll handle him". He said, coming up behind me. One glance at him, then me and she was gone.

"Handle me?" I more like said than asked, annoyed.

"Oh common, let's get your hand treated". He said with a shake of his head. We went to his office and all through the cleaning, disinfecting and some other stuff he did, he didn't say a word, which I was grateful for. I didn't really want to talk about it, it was taking everything within me to keep it together.

Obviously, I had punched a wall which may be why my fingers looked broken, though I couldn't remember. They were pale and swollen, and in weird positions.

I couldn't feel my fingers before, perhaps as a result of all the adrenaline rush but after I had calmed down, the pain that hit me was like a tsunami, clouding my senses. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying my best not to scream.

"Now your senses are catching up. Thank God it is just this, I'm glad you didn't do something....worse" he said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

He brought out a syringe and a small bottle and my face immediately went red.

He attached the needle and filled the syringe with the liquid in the tiny bottle, then jabbed the needle in my thigh, un-doctorly if I might add.

I'm guessing the bottle contained anaesthetic because in less than two minutes, I felt absolutely nothing.

Finished, he removed his gloves and looked at me. For a minute or two, we both held our gazes before he broke it off and inclined his head towards the door, telling me to go.

"Room 204" I heard him call out as I left the room, not in a haste this time but taking steady steps, one foot in front of the other till I got to her room.

Scared as hell, I opened the door and immediately, my eyes fell on an angel, my angel who looked so peaceful as she lay there, unconscious.

My in-laws sat by her side, quietly talking to her, well mostly Larry. Diana just kept sobbing and muffling the sound with the scarf she had around her neck.

Noticing me, Larry took Diana's hand and steered her towards the door. He patted my shoulder gently then they both stepped out, leaving me alone with my wife, my dying wife!

I took deep breaths as I moved further into the room, my body shaking with grief. I took a minute to just look at her, she looked calm, almost still. The only assurance I had that she was still here was her chest rising and falling.

"This is all my fault. If I had been with you, this would never have happened". I said quietly.

How could this happen to the love of my life? Why did bad things always happen to good people? Why did I have to choose between her and our child? How am I supposed to love a child whose mother had to die for it to live?

I knew it was wrong and unfair to put the blame on an innocent baby. After all, it hadn't caused the accident and hadn't made the choice but what did I care? It was how I felt and it was definitely not going away anytime soon!

I needed someone to blame and unfortunately, it was the child who I chose to be saved first, thereby choosing to let her die.

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I am working on some files when I hear sweet laughter echoing through the halls of the house. At first I ignore it, giving my home work computer all my attention but when the laughter continues, I can not help but wonder what is so funny that it is making Vi laugh so hard.

Shutting my laptop, I walk out of my study towards the sound of her laughter, leading me to the new room my wife has been spending much of her time in lately.

Ever since she had been sick some weeks back and Liam had informed us that she was pregnant, she had decided to decorate the room next to ours with so many vibrant colors, so which ever sex the baby turns out to be, the baby will love it.

She had insisted we not check the gender of the baby which I had no choice than to agree to it. That is definitely not how I like to do things, I love having control and having everything planned to the tiniest detail which in this case, includes knowing the sex of my child and planning accordingly, but what can I do? I love her and anything she says goes, unfortunately.

Opening the door, the sight of my wife catches my breath. She is in a teddy bear fight with my sister whom she had convinced to come decorate with her after I had humbly rejected the offer, but not without reason.

It wasn't my fault, I have important work and my office never fares well with my absence, or so I like to think.

Now, seeing her like this, I regret it. She deserves more than a husband who only spends nights with her and the rest of his days in the office. Hell, my workers even see me more than she does. The only reason I am even home is because of the office renovations scheduled for today and tomorrow. If that was not the case I would have been in the office right now and missing this beautiful sight before me.

"Hey babe" I call out, getting their attention. Victoria turns to me, with a sheepish look on her face.

"I thought you were working. Did we disturb you....of course we did!" Dropping the teddy she had in her hand, she crosses the room and wraps her tiny short hands around my body, hugging me. "I'm so sorry, we tried to keep it quiet, i just got carried away."

I don't respond. Instead, I bend to her height and wrap my hands around her, holding her tight. She smells nice, is all I can think about as I look down at her, noticing the pregnancy glow and that particular smile on her face which she had started to wear, after she was pronounced pregnant.

She has been so excited about the pregnancy that it is all she can think and talk about but unfortunately, I don't feel the same way.

All I have ever wanted is to be with her, to love her and to be loved back. Everyone knows a baby will disrupt that, it hasn't even been up to a year we got married and very soon, I will have to share her with someone else.

I am selfish, so what? Whatever my feelings, they are very much justified. I married her because I loved her, not to procreate. Definitely a kid or two down the line but much Later. Though, I have to admit she is so much happier and that I am not all the reason for it.

"You didn't hear of a word I said, did you?" Pulled out of my thoughts, I look to find Vi looking up at me, like she does when she's talking to me and I'm too lost in thought to listen or respond.

"Where did you go this time?" Becca my sister asks with her hands on her waist, glaring at me.

"No where important. Just got lost, and yes, you two distracted me with your loud and continuous laughing but no, i didn't mind at all. I love hearing my beautiful wife laugh, it makes me happy."

"And.....?" Becca asks, fake-glaring at me.

"And you of course my dear sister" I quickly add. Women are too much trouble and that drama, I am never in the mood for. Although, not Vi's, though she can be very pesty and annoying, and in those times, I wished I could just kill myself. Seriously!!!

"Mind going to get something to eat?" I ask them both, throwing my hand over Vi's shoulder "and maybe drinks later?" I add and next thing, I'm getting a soft punch to my chest from my not-so-innocent wife.

"Ouch....! What was that for?" I ask, my other hand on my chest, feigning pain. Though, not so fake, I certainly feel a sting. She definitely knows how to throw a punch.

"Oh, maybe it's because I'M PREGNANT!!!" She screams the last part in my ear causing me to move away from her with speed as I cup my palm over my ear.

Vi and Becca hysterically laugh in sync, like they had planned it. Paying no mind to my pretense of anger, they walk out of the nursery chattering happily, leaving me to follow behind.

They get to the door and Vi turns all of a sudden, fear written all over her face. She looks at me saying words I cannot hear.

"Vi?"

"Mike, you need to wake up!" She says and this time, I hear her. What does she mean by wake up?

"Vi, are you okay?"

"Mike, wake up, wake up, please" she says then looks down, my eyes following hers and that is when I see the blood, trickling down her leg and forming a pool where she stands. I look back up and there is blood coming from everywhere, her face even.

I rush to her but she pushes me away, repeating the same words.

"Becca! What's happening? Do something!" I shout, looking around but Becca is no where. Where did she go? What is happening?

I try to reach her again when this time, she screams "WAKE UPPPPPPP......" and with a jerk, I wake up to find the most beautiful eyes, staring at me.

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Author's note

Note: All the medical jargons may not be accurate, so forget about that and focus on the story. We are just at the beginning, do stay with me, let's journey together.