Chapter 1: Su Jian did not think it through

Who says

That it's by my desire,

This separation, this living so far from you?

My dress still smells of the lavender you gave:

My hand still holds the letter that you sent.

Round my waist I wear a double sash:

I dream that it binds us both with a same-heart knot.

Did not you know that people hide their love,

Like a flower that seems too precious to be picked?

• • • • • • • • • • •

Su Jian ignored what was going on behind his back and looked up at the sky. The midday sun was not too strong at that time of the year, so the gardens outside the university felt cool and bright.

Entering the university, how likely were the odds of running into an acquaintance among thousands of people? How much, when that they both belonged to different faculties and different majors? Enemies were bound to meet.

"Of course it was your fault, you did it on purpose!" That young woman, Che XuDan, raised a hand and tried to hit Qu Yuan, almost sending his cap flying.

The young man who was being scolded was able to dodge her, backing up to stand next to Su Jian.

"Why would I do that on purpose? We're not in school anymore, we've grown up." Qu Yuan looked at the one standing behind Che XuDan, a polite and bright looking young man. "Li Yan, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to."

Li Yan's expression was disinterested, it was obvious that he was thinking about other things. However, he nodded as he listened to Qu Yuan:

"No problem." He looked at the coffee stain on his shirt, but did not change his mind. "Never mind."

Su Jian looked back over his shoulder, and showed a smirk as he looked at Li Yan with cold eyes.

"Is there anything you care about in this world, green lotus?"

"Who are you calling a green lotus, you piece of trash!" Che XuDan was the first to raise her voice, even looking more aggrieved than Li Yan. "The dog may have grown up, but the master has not."

"Dog?" Qu Yuan was being insulted without even being in trouble.

Ignoring the girl's screams and Li Yan's coldness, Su Jian resumed his way outside. He had neither the time nor the courage to stay and argue. Although, he would have liked to see that idiot's face for longer; but continuing that 'conversation' meant distracting Li Yan from taking his medicine, and Su Jian would never allow himself to do that.

"I'm nobody's dog, I absolutely am not." Young Su's faithful pet, Qu Yuan, took off after his master and left the screaming XuDan behind.

Li Yan sighed as he watched the two of them leave. Her gaze was on Su Jian's back until her friend stood in the middle.

"Are you serious?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Without looking her in the eye, Li Yan walked out of the building towards the parking lot.

"He's a loser*. I don't know what you've seen in him all these years."

"Su Jian is neither short nor ugly."

"But he's a boor, he has no education! Besides, he's dumb for not noticing." Che XuDan was irritated.

"He's not a boor. And he has nothing to noticing about.

"Oh, didn't you know that people hide their love*?! You couldn't have picked a less direct poem, but he didn't even notice. His brain must have been kicked by a donkey."

"He's not dumb... Not as dumb as you say." Li Yan looked at her friend, Che XuDan's face was so wrinkled in frustration that it looked horrible. "Don't make that face, what will you do if your face stays like that, don't you have a place to go tonight?"

"I do, you do too. A-Cheng said we could both attend."

"I don't like bars and discos, I'll stay at home. I'll do the work of both of us."

"Yan-di, Yan-di, how I adore my dear Yan-di." Che XuDan even changed his tone of voice to a higher pitched one. "I'll be writing to you all night then, this Jiejie won't leave you alone. Now, take me home."

"This way, Your Excellency. " With an amused smile on his face, Li Yan pointed to the entrance to the parking lot.

Su Jian scanned the place with his eyes, barely seeing anything due to the darkness and flashing lights. The music didn't allow him to hear much either, and irritation soon set in. No wonder Li Yan hated those places.

He stood up, staggering a little. It was already past midnight, a few minutes before two in the morning, so Su Jian had already drunk and danced until his heart's content.

He walked towards the exit looking for Qu Yuan, but he was nowhere to be seen. On his way out, he saw several of his acquaintances outside sitting on their cars while drinking and chatting.

Looking around he found something strange, he even thought it was just his drunkenness, however, it was real; Che XuDan and Qu Yuan were talking civilly. Next to that pair were the person in charge of the meeting and a couple of drunken idiots.

"What a cute couple." Su Jian commented as he approached. "I'll be going now."

"That soon?" Qu Yuan looked at his friend and then at Che XuDan, she just looked at her cellphone and ignored the newcomer.

"Soon? It's two in the morning, I still have places to go in the afternoon. And you said we would go back."

Certainly, Su Jian had attended that place only because Qu Yuan would be there, and they had promised that they would go together and come back together.

"Give me a moment then. I saw my cousin here, I'll go ask him for money for a cab."

"But I gave you the extra money for that."

"Uh, a problem occurred and I had to use it. Don't worry, I'll get it." Qu Yuan disappeared as fast as he could, although Su Jian had already seen the can of beer Che XuDan was holding in one hand.

It was an expensive beer. Su Jian folded his arms and cursed kicking the ground.

For her part, XuDan tried his best not to pay attention to him. She took a sip of her drink and sent a '666' to Li Yan via WeChat, in response to the images of the exhibition they were both due to present the following week.

Concentrating on her conversation, she quickly forgot that Su Jian was in front of her. She couldn't even notice when he disappeared along with one of the drunken idiots who were with her A-Cheng earlier.

It was a while later, when Qu Yuan returned and approached her a little confused, that Che XuDan realized that the other was no longer there. She asked:

"Didn't he say he was going to wait for you?"

"He did say so, and Su Jian is not the type who would leave me here alone."

"Well, he's a little drunk." Che XuDan shrugged his shoulders.

"Drunk?"

"He was even staggering, where's that pair of eyes of yours?"

"I just didn't notice it. Maybe he's gone off with someone else." Qu Yuan looked around again. "The only one missing here is Wang Lu, there's not even his car."

"He was with A-Cheng, he was taken out because he was too drunk."

After a few seconds of thinking, they both looked at each other. Qu Yuan laughed nervously.

"It's not possible, is it? Su Jian wouldn't be that reckless, would he?"

However, Su Jian was quite reckless once he was stunned by alcohol. He knew Wang Lu, they were not friends, but that had not stopped him from getting into his car to get a free ride home.

Since Qu Yuan had gone to ask for money, he could surely get home on his own. Besides, Qu Yuan was cowardly, he would surely be frightened by the strange way Wang Lu was driving.

Yes, it was a strange way. Zigzagging, ignoring traffic lights, speeding, unable to dodge the truck in front of them....

Su Jian saw the metal shatter the windshield as if everything was in slow motion and thought, [Maybe this wasn't a good idea.]

The next day, after having slept almost until dusk, Li Yan woke up in his room. He went through his common morning routine, going to the bathroom to clean his face and then going down to the kitchen for breakfast.

After eating his breakfast, Li Yan finally sat down in the living room of his home, and checked his cell phone once and for all.

He checked the messages Che XuDan had sent him just an hour ago.

'Yan-di, I'm sorry. Sorry.'

Puzzled, he replied with a simple '¿?'. While waiting for a reply he received a slap on the leg from his grandmother, the adorable Grandma Li.

"From dusk till dawn you've been staring at that screen, at least go take a bath first."

"I'm waiting to hear from XuDan. Laolao, I will in a little while."

Grandma Li had no reason to disbelieve her grandson's words, so she continued on her way to the hallway.

The front door opened and old Grandma Li saw her daughter enter with a worried expression.

"Mother." The woman approached her speaking softly, her footsteps equally quiet. "Yan'er is ok?"

"He's as well as ever. He's even playing once more, and he barely woke up." She couldn't waste the opportunity to scold her grandson, a child addicted to technology and games, but then she asked between whispers. "Did something happen?"

"Do you remember that friend Li Yan had when he was a kid? Su Jian. The boy who sometimes came to sleep over, and stayed for days on end."

"I remember, Yan'er really liked that boy." Grandma Li only remembered how much her grandson chattered about that boy.

"Well, I don't think he knows it yet, but..."

Inside the room, Li Yan was still ignorant of his mother and grandmother's words. He watched as the 'writing' symbol appeared and disappeared over and over again in his chat; it filled him with curiosity, however, he gave Che XuDan all the time in the world.

Almost half an hour had passed, even his mother and grandmother had entered the room and took a seat right in front of him. Both of them had looks full of insecurity. Li Yan felt his heart pound and ache, what were they hiding from him?

Che XuDan's message came at the same time his mother opened her mouth.

"Yan'er..."

'Yan-di. I'm sorry.'

"Something very bad happened early this morning, I didn't know how to tell you. Your friend, Su Jian... He had an accident."

'Su Jian died.'

• • • • • • • • • • •

1. A loser.

What Che XuDan said was (Ai cuo qiong). Chinese slang. Literally means short, ugly and poor, but refers to a (male) loser.

2. You didn't know that people hide their love.

An ancient poem by Emperor Wu of Han, from which the title of this story comes from. Taken from A Hundred and Seventy Chinese Poems.

3. Laolao.

Maternal grandmother.