Sentimental

After a long vigorous exercise, Matt was still trying to catch his breath. The fighting and adrenaline must have really fired her up. He could almost be considered to be living the dream if not for all of the terrible things that could happen to him. Matt checked the time and it was almost dinner. He realized that they were at it for five hours. He started getting up to take a shower when Alexis grabbed his arm.

"Wait, I'll join you."

"Sure, I don't mind."

The two of them entered the bath together and relaxed in the warm water. Matt had originally intended to just take a quick shower, but frankly, he had always wanted to do this. The bath tub had plenty of room for the two of them, but that wouldn't prevent Matt from pulling her into his embrace and hugging her from behind. She was very tolerant at the moment so he wanted to indulge as much as he could.

"Today is special, so don't get used to it." Alexis warned as she rested her head on his chest, sinking a bit deeper into the water.

"Everyday with you is special…"

"Tsk, I'll let you off today."

Matt chuckled at her actions. His intentions were to live out a fantasy of his, but also since he felt a twinge of guilt. Previously, he had been preparing to completely destroy her mentally in order to protect himself. Although he would still do it at the drop of a hat, he felt guilty for it nevertheless. Matt fully embraced his hypocrisy. Why should he have to live by a certain moral standard, he wasn't even a human. Alexis always kept her hair short, just long enough to fully bury his fingers in but not long enough to tie.

The previous Matt didn't care much for her short hair and was too much of a coward to say anything. Well, he didn't really care since he never thought much about his relationship with Alexis. However, the current Matt loved her short blond hair. Sometimes he wondered if he liked Alexis because of Matt O'Connely's memories or because he had formed a bond with her himself. However, since his past life memories are also like someone else's memories, he can't say for certain.

The truth is, he is neither person, but instead the parasite which happens to have two sets of memories. Can an alien organism which relies on lies and deception to survive have real human emotions? In his past life, there were many works that portrayed villainous monsters that had human features to make the audience sympathize with them. Matt wondered if he was a monster with a human skin that elicited human sympathy in order to fulfill his natural instinct to survive. Alexis splashed some water in his face to break him from his internal strife.

"Today during the skirmish, I was trying really hard to win. However, at some point I got scared and everything I planned just emptied out of my mind," Alexis picked up his hand and traced her fingers over the lines on his palm.

"Just when I was losing myself to my tunnel vision and anxiety, I suddenly thought of my dream last night. In that dream, you were fighting alongside me during the skirmish. When the memory ended, I was able to pull through and think clearly. Although it was just a dream, I felt like I couldn't have won without you."

Matt took her hands and interlocked his fingers with them. He didn't want to say anything strange so he just kept quiet and continued holding her. They remained like that until the water started getting cold and so they had to drain the water and get dressed. Matt didn't want to miss dinner, so he wasn't particularly upset. Either way, Alexis wasn't going anywhere so he could always have moments with her in the future.

His thoughts from before were a bit jumbled because of her sudden confession. Although she wasn't aware that he did in fact help her win, she still felt his presence was integral to her success. Instead of believing that she was just really good and the win was deserved, she shared her victory with him. Not many people gave him this level of trust and loyalty throughout the course of his life, and he felt bad constantly thinking about her as an enemy that he was utilizing.

This was the first time since arriving on this ship that he actually considered revealing the truth to her. Having a second person to carry his burden would make life so much easier. Like the players that weren't the parasite but still helped the parasite by betraying the crewman. If she could accept the truth and join him… But could he really risk his life on a hope? This fleeting emotion could go away in a day and then he would be at a loss.

Although he wanted to protect his humanity, revealing his inhumanity would not be the right choice. Matt so desperately kept close to Alexis so that he wouldn't forget who he was. However, it would be selfish of him to reveal that he is an alien parasite with memories of a past era. The reason he wanted an ally was not out of good intentions, but to increase his safety. Like a sociopathic serial killer making a family to cover up his inability to feel.

Matt laughed at himself and finished dressing. Alexis and he went to the cafeteria and had their lunch. Matt acted like normal and she didn't see any signs of his internal debate. The meaning of emotion and acting human were his method of survival. Even if it was fake, it was still one of his identities. Just like any human in his past life. They all had different identities to match the situation. Some behaved differently with their friends versus at work. Others were wild online but shy and reserved in person.

What mattered were his goals in life. Once he accomplished everything and no longer had to worry about his identity being discovered, he could pursue the meaning behind his existence. For now, he would happily absorb these evolution points every day. He would happily sleep with his lovely partner. And he would happily lie and manipulate the people around him. This is the life of Matt the Parasite.

The End.

Just kidding, there are still more things to do. He put away his tray and walked around with Alexis some more. There was a large arboretum on the ship that neither he nor Alexis had seen. The arboretum was a large enclosed dome with a special glass that allowed just the right types of starlight to enter. This was enough to initiate the process of photosynthesis. The dome was on a timer and would close to give the trees some rest. Constant radiation would dry them up and kill them. The dome opening also coincided with the ship dropping out of hyper speed to let the engines cool off.

"So, this is how the ship deals with all the carbon dioxide?" Alexis said while staring up at the huge tree which was possibly a hundred meters tall. There were various people in science officer uniforms trimming the trees and taking samples from the soil.

"This is just one of the many ways. Trees are the best way to reduce carbon in the ship's artificial atmosphere, but they grow slowly and take up a lot of space. There are also many aeroponic plants in the various botany labs around the ship, however these plants produce just as much carbon as they absorb. The main secret is the carbon dioxide scrubbers."

"Yeah, yeah, you're smart. I get it."

"It's actually written on the arboretum's introduction page in the system database."

"I think it's time to redeem your beating…" Alexis tackled him to the ground and they rolled on the soil covering the floor of the arboretum. After tumbling a bit, they eventually found themselves at the base of a tree. This was a rather happy moment and Matt forgot all about his emotional turmoil from earlier in the day.

The large dome began to open to let the space radiation in. This was the main reason they came here. Matt had suggested they come and watch the stars together among the trees. The billions of stars slowly started to make their appearance and they watched them in all of their glory. Matt suddenly felt a twinge of sadness. He came from somewhere out there in the vast cosmos. This is what his instincts were telling him. His home was somewhere out there. However, he shook his head.

"My home is here."

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FIRST BONUS CHAPTER WOOO. Okay guys seriously why is it so hard to write chapters after noon? My brain is so slow. Anyway, I'll be getting up really early tomorrow to work so expect a late chapter. I'll try for one more tonight though.

1/10 bonus chapters