Welcome Back, My Love

"What are we to do with her, my Queen?"

"We'll wait a few more moons. Continue to watch her."

"As you will, my lady."

...

Gently, I'm drifting in abstract space. My thoughts echo around me. I've really done it this time. I'm finally free from the world. Floating softly, I'm calm and without any physical or mental worries.

Mmmm. Death sure is nice so far. A rhythmic pattern caresses the edges of my awareness. Like the ceaseless motion of ocean waves, up, down... What was I ever so afraid of? Up, down… Ah, it was sorta scary when that girl started running towards me… Up… She's so serious. What was her name again? ...down. Pandaya.

The waves come crashing down and as if the name were an anchor to my memories, I gasp awake, recalling what happened: stabbing myself. Dueling Pandaya. The village. The Queen. Mysteriously waking up in the forest. The confusion, the emotions, the pain.

The dense gravity of the unfortunate reality of it all sucks me down from my mental haven and finally, I remember the most awful part of it all - being in a physical body.

Shit. I'm not dead, am I? Thousands of tragedies about unsuccessful suicide attempts make their unwelcome appearance.

Don't move, Lyra. You can't know if you're paralyzed for life if you just don't move. I stall my breathing, trying to feel my way through my body for any injuries or missing functionalities with mental probes. Please don't be paralyzed, please don't be paralyzed.

Eventually, my breath gives out and I inhale deeply, sighing in relief as I accidentally move too much of myself. It seems that I have control of my fingers and toes at least. Feeling a lot better, I open my eyes to another unfamiliar place.

You've got to be kidding me. Huh. Deja vu. I briefly contemplate for the umpteenth time whether everything had been just a dream. Thankfully, a more focused examination of the room prevents me from spiraling into an existential crisis.

Minimalistic stone walls draped with astrological symbols depicting the phases of the moon surround me. Only the first half of them is familiar to me as they depict one full cycle. The other half depict arcane images that show a pair of moons.

Interesting… It seems that the rest of the symbols describe the sun and the stars. I don't know anything past basic grade-school astronomy, but I can't shake off the feeling that something is off. I can't help but wonder, are the people I've met so far really from a cult?

I shift my attention away from the walls, finally daring to look at the mirror in front of me. Beautifully interwoven around the mirror are hand-painted glyphs. The first image shows a hooded person with a spear in one hand and a dark ball in the other. Another shows a pyramid, similar to the one in the village. The pictures seem to tell a story, but my eyes gloss over them, preoccupied with the only image that matters at the moment. My reflection.

Normally, I would hate to look at my reflection, but the series of events that I've endured have been so wild that this time, I needed to verify that I am still who I am.

Behind me, I see the bed that I got up from - it is simple and plain. Surrounding it are similarly boring furniture: a wooden drawer, a lamp, a desk and chair. The entirety of it all seems vaguely familiar, like I've been here before. Perhaps it's because this room is the most modern thing I've seen since being trapped here.

In front of me, I'm clearly staring back at myself. Ugh. Disgusting as always. Waste of space. I brush my hair away from my face; it's dark brown, a bit tousled and growing past my shoulders, but otherwise, nothing is out of the ordinary. Yep, these are the same tired eyes since becoming depressed. Same face no one cares about. Same marks on my nose from the one and only time my father punched me in the face.

Right about the only things that are different from the world I've known before are my clothes (which are the same ones that I got when I first woke up in this place) and a scar on my neck where I had stabbed myself.

Holy shit! No wonder I didn't feel any pain! Just how long have I been out? My brain struggles to process the information I'm seeing. The scar is a twisted, snaky looking thing but the skin is smooth and closed. I fumble at my cloak, trying to find the wound where Pandaya stabbed me. Ugh. How do you even get this thing off? The texture is thick but not burdening - durable, yet comfortable. I have never worn a cloak-robe before.

I eventually settle for pulling the fabric up from the bottom, exposing the apparently white underwear I'm wearing, and up until my stomach is revealed.

A scar with no visible open wounds runs through the front of me. I stand there for a moment, shook.

Alright, well, let's think about this rationally and logically, Lyra. People and villages can appear out of thin air.

"Well, makes sense to have wounds heal in a day too in that case," I reason out loud, hoping that somehow saying the words would normalize everything.

"Actually, it has been five moons."

I jump, having been knocked out of my thoughts. Flustered, I quickly pull my clothes back down, trying to smooth the embarrassment out, then turn around to face the person who spoke - it was the Second. Ah, so I must be in the pyramid, then. I had completely missed the moment she walked through the door.

"I'm sure you have a lot of questions. Unfortunately, your judgement is not yet over." Amazing, just what I wanted to hear - judgement isn't over.

She stands in front of me, slightly hunched from age and dark eyes keeping secrets. Up close, she is about the same height as I am. "However, I believe I can ease some of your concerns now," the elder continues. I gulp. Finally, some explanations.

She judges my expression wordlessly, causing me to grow more uncomfortable by the second.

Uncertain of what to say or how to start (or of how much I should even reveal in my questions), I stutter, "Um, five moons?"

"Yes, dear. You caused quite the uproar at the match." Her stern expression causes it to be difficult to determine her intentions. "It is not very often that we see someone so willingly give up their lives like that." I glance away - what would she know?

She chuckles, her voice is rough and dry, but her tone remains frank. "Zalora - the Queen - had to really move or your soul would've left this plane for good." Seeing my blank expression, she continues, "Ah, she knocked you out, dear. She wasn't fast enough to stop you from plunging that blade into yourself but she was able to prevent you from pulling it out. You're very lucky you didn't hit any vital streams. Even our healing has our limits, you know."

Vital streams? I struggle to process her words. What had I been doing? I recall the angle of my blade. Oh, duh! It was vertical! I held the sword towards myself vertically! I must've missed my jugular and the rest of the major blood vessels!

A small bubble of anger bursts within me. Look, Lyra. You had one job and you couldn't do it right. Stab yourself. Was it really that hard to not fuck it up? Now you're here so they can continue on their merry way to phase two of "Let's laugh together at how incapable and weak Lyra is! Let's beat Lyra up and then heal her so we can do it all over again!"

Before I could punch myself in the face for my stupidity, the elder asks me, "What else shall I answer for you?" Um, yeah. Not a lot. Just, like, how did I get here, what is this place, why's everything and everyone batshit crazy, and while I'm at it, what's going on, why isn't judgement, whatever the hell that is, over, and who am I??

I end up asking the most practical question. "Uh, you're the Queen's… Second?"

She makes a short, barking laugh, "Ha, yes, that is my title and role." Yeah, harharhar. Laugh, lady. I know I'm a joke to you all. "You may call me Izheie." I… Zuh He… right. "If you don't have any more questions, then we should get going. The Queen has been waiting to talk to you."

Ah, of course. Execution, then interrogation. I want more questions to be answered of course, but having been reminded of judgement, they're probably not so important to the soon-to-be dead.

Izheie takes me through a cold, bare passageway. Our footsteps echo hollowly through the chamber. The fact that it consists of the only sound that we make as we continue forward doesn't ease me and I begin to feel nervous, but I roll my eyes at the thought. Come on, Lyra, how much worse could the situation possibly get?

I shift my attention away from what I am sure is impending doom to my immediate surroundings. Nothing but walls similar to the ones in the room I woke up in. Despite the bleak interior, I'm sure this is usually the part where others would say something like, "It amazes me that these people can build something as impressive as this!" but I really couldn't care less.

The surrounding darkness around us parts into a room I've seen before. It is the throne room in the pyramid. This time, I've entered it from the right.

Oh hey, it's the violent one. Pandaya is kneeling before the Queen. She sees us and starts to get up to leave.

"Hold, Pandaya." Pandaya abides the Queen's commands, abruptly bowing down her head again. She motions Pandaya to move to the side and Pandaya swiftly complies. It's hard to imagine that I haven't seen them in… what did Izheie say again? Five moons? Whatever that means. More than a day or two at least though, probably.

Izheie walks to the center of the room, in front of the Queen. I follow closely behind, the entire scene before me looking absolutely surreal.

Here, the cavernous room is grey, the only sources of color dully emanating from the strangers before me. Even the decades-worn buildings of 'Pine Woods College' - the dreary prison disguised as an educational institution - has more color.

Izheie bows her head. "As you can see, my Queen, the trespasser has recovered."

Just as coolly as the first time I saw her, the Queen replies, "Very well. I knew I was right to entrust her recovery to you. You have done well watching her."

Did she just imply that Izheie healed me by herself? With wounds like the ones I had?

Izheie moves back to the Queen's side in a neutral manner, stopping when she is next to Pandaya. I'm left at the center of the room to face all three of them alone, leaving me longing for someone to be by my side as well.

"Let us finish this quickly. We shall now re-commence judgement," the Queen declares. "Pandaya, Izheie, you will bear witness." Oh no, here we go, about to finish me quickly (again).

The Queen turns to me, spear in hand and every inch of her focused on me. I feel like I'm in a lecture hall and the professor just picked on me to answer a question I don't know the answer to. Or better yet, like I'm in a large courtroom where I'm the defendant, without an attorney. Either way, I don't want to speak to her at all.

"What is your name, trespasser?" she demands.

I flinch. "Um, ...Lyra." I did not expect such a normal question.

"Speak up." The Queen's eyes are penetrating, and her authority is unquestionable.

"L-Lyra. Lyra Shade." Is it normal to already want to crawl into a hole?

"Lyra Shade…" The Queen seems amused. "From where do you come?"

Oof. Well, you see, um, awkward question. California? The U.S? Earth? The Queen sits on her throne, in either the same or similar clothing as when I first saw her. Pandaya is still in her warrior tribe outfit and Izheie's feathers and beads remind me of the jewelry on Native American wax models in some natural history museum. Looking at these people, somehow none of those answers seem very acceptable.

The heavy silence lingers in the air for too long.

"Answer, trespasser. How dare you disrespect the Queen?" Pandaya draws her sword.

Jeezus. The Queen looks at Pandaya, and Pandaya withdraws as quickly as she stepped forward.

The Queen repeats herself. "From where do you come?"

I grimace. There is no escape. I have to answer.

"Uh… I-if this is Earth, I'm from the United States." I cringe hard. I sounded absolutely ridiculous. Gods. Why wouldn't this be Earth? I could've just been unknowingly dumped into some other country that happens to have skills and knowledge that science hasn't caught up to yet.

The Queen gives zero indication on whether this sounded strange to her or not. She leans her head against a fist, "And why did you come here?"

If I'd wanted to get beat up again, I

would have visibly groaned. How am I

supposed to answer that? First of all, I did not want to come here. Um, I didn't even not want to come here? I couldn't! I never even knew this place existed until I got here!

Ughhhhh. Gods, what do I say?? I look down at the ground. It's a polished marble design. Light reflects off of it.

I swallow a tight knot down my dry throat. Given the short amount of time I have, making up a believable lie is out of the question. "Uh, I know you'll p-probably not believe me, but uh, I actually didn't want to come here." There. I said it. I wish that someone would come to interrupt us and save me.

"Are you saying you are lost? You should know the consequences of lying," she inquires. Of course. Even though I specifically mentioned that they probably wouldn't believe me, she still thinks I'm lying. Couldn't she at least ask me my reasoning? It's like there are only wrong answers here.

"No? I mean yes. Uh, well what I mean is that I don't know what this place is. I kinda just woke up here in um, your forest I guess? And then uh," I glance at Pandaya. "And then I was told that I was trespassing and then she was like I'll be taken for judgement,"I speed through the rest of the words. I didn't want to use Pandaya's name, afraid I'd have broken some unknown rule of respect.

Without taking her eyes off me, she asks, "Can you verify this, Pandaya?"

Pandaya nods curtly, "Yes, my Queen. I found her lying on the ground and watched her to determine her faction. She got up but didn't do much before I realized she was neither one of us nor one of those diplomats." There. See, I wasn't lying. You guys got your viral video of me for your dark web goonies. Now release me please.

Without missing a beat, the Queen refers back to me, asking an even tougher question. "I see. In that case, where were you headed?"

Oh. My. God. I wasn't freaking headed anywhere if I was literally taken here against my will! How in the world am I supposed to answer these presumptuous questions? Why does it feel like the entire world is rigged against me?

I answer, a bit of annoyance escaping into my tone, "I wasn't headed anywhere. I just woke up here. Maybe I was kidnapped or something? I honestly don't know."

BAM!

The Queen slams the butt of her spear against the ground. I think I peed myself a little.

"And how is that possible? We are a neutral faction. Surrounding us are the Estrus to the far south, the Lin in the deep forest to the east and the Barren Mountains and Cliffs to the North and West. And of the two factions, only the Estrus, with which our territories are strictly defined and respected even amongst their civilians, are concerned with human matters, so answer me." she demands.

Another truth is taken as the wrong answer.

I don't know what to say anymore. I feel the pressure from their eyes, a ticking time-bomb should I make another wrong move. The silence accelerates.

"I don't fucking KNOW, OKAY?" I explode, a guttural sound underlying the tone of my voice. The Queen's eyes flash threateningly, but I don't care. "You think I wanted to be here? I never even knew this place existed before I got here. If you and your stupid cult wanted to kill me then why don't you get to it and stop wasting my time? Thanks to you, I'm failing my Comms class again."

The Queen had moved so blindingly fast, athletically vacating her seat and leaping straight at me. She has my head yanked back by the hair, exposing my neck, spear threatening my throat near where my scar is.

She is taller and, needless to say, much stronger than me. Yet still, I challenge her eyes.

"Do it, then. Why did you even bother healing me in the first place?" I could barely manage to get the words out.

She looks at me, unfazed. "So there you are again." We are so close, I can feel the warmth emanating from her body. Her eyes remain locked with mine, "You speak of nonexistent things that suggest punishment for dishonesty, but your movements before and now don't contradict your words. Hm… what shall I do with you?" She smiles, turning my face to the side, examining the scar at my throat. "How interesting. You don't even know the severity of your actions ."

I struggle against her grip but she doesn't budge. "And you would know?" I spit the words out between my teeth.

The Queen ignores me. "I've heard enough. We will now conclude judgement. Don't cry again." She lets go and moves away from me, turning to head back to her throne. I cough, trying to regain control of myself.

Izheie breaks the silence, "And what is the conclusion, my lady?"

The Queen glances back at me. "Lyra, was it? Though without alliances you may be, for your crimes against the Izamons as a trespasser into our territories, you will serve amongst us as a slave. Now, if that is all, I think I will rest in solace for a bit." For a split second, Pandaya makes an expression I assume to be somewhat akin to shock.

That bad, huh? Whatever. I'll just kill myself again. I've had enough of these people too. They make me sicker than whatever bullies I've had to face before.

Izheie starts, "Zalora-" The Queen freezes in her tracks. I didn't know how quickly an atmosphere could get tenser.

"Ah, forgive me, my Queen, but there is something I should say if I may." Izheie moves to the Queen and whispers something.

The Queen quickly turns back towards me, a funny expression on her face and scaring me. Her eyes widen, but quickly turn back to normal.

"I see, Izheie. I thank you for informing me." She thinks for a moment, then reasserts herself, "Lyra Shade, the new conclusions to your judgement will instead be to live amongst us as an Izamon. Unless, you have somewhere you need to be?"

What? Well, that was sudden. I know I should probably be grateful, but at the same time, how is living as one of them better? These people probably live in a society where menial labor is a daily requirement anyways. Also, I'd just decided that I hate these people.

On the other hand, although I don't want to go back to school or see my narcissistic addict of a father again, this is probably the only chance I will ever have to ask.

I swallow my pride, "Um, actually, could you take me back to the States? California, to be more specific." Surely, with their crazy technology and knowledge, this isn't too much to ask for.

Surprisingly, the Queen responds, "I figured that you might ask that. We are unfamiliar with the place that you speak of - Earth, was it? Our world is that of Alerium, and I have already described for you the borders of our territory. Even beyond them, we know of no Earth."

...But, this isn't a dream. How is that possible? I would panic, but both my mind and body are too tired to do so.

So that's that then. The answer to my question. Everything is so surreal. How is any of this possible? Everything is so foreign, I don't even know whether I should be happy or sad, scared or excited.

The Queen seems to read my mind, changing the topic. "Pandaya will see to it that you will be acquainted with our customs and assign you the most fitting role. You may use the same room Izheie has cared for you in, and you may also ask her or Pandaya for the layout of our temple. We will be watching you of course, but only until you gain our trust…" She tilts her head in somewhat of a contemplation, "...and until we gain yours."

Is she being nice to me? I don't know. She said there is no Earth. How can I just wake up on the wrong planet? Maybe this is all some sort of a sick psychological joke so I become even more vulnerable when they do decide to torture me.

Pandaya interrupts my thoughts. "My Queen, wouldn't it be better to ask a slave, or even a healer to do this instead?" Yeah, ask her about why she changed her mind too, Pandaya.

"Pandaya, step down." Oof. The Queen stands resolute, "Yes, perhaps you have your duties on patrol. However, you are also partially to blame for nearly causing us to prematurely terminate judgement. Tell me, what was the point of the match?"

Bowing her head, Pandaya replies, "To test, my Queen."

"Yes, to test, not kill. Not to win glory, and not to dominate." Wow. I would never have guessed if the Queen hadn't said that.

Pandaya looks away in shame. "I- I thought she would dodge that blow." Awks. Now it's my turn to be embarrassed. Sorry, Pandaya.

The Queen's face softens, "You may be the best warrior, Pandaya, but you are also the Panther. You know that you may someday be Queen. You will need to be skilled in reading more than just the blade."

What a cliche scene. I snicker a bit inside, despite still feeling grim at the entire situation.

"Forgive me, my Queen. I understand your reasoning, but I am concerned that she will not survive." Did she just call me weak?

"Then ensure that she does." The Queen's tone is back to normal.

She continues, "Perhaps you will learn from Lyra as well." Um, excuse me? "You will both come to benefit from this relationship I'm sure. Oh, and since you brought it up, this should be obvious but," her mouth forms a wry smile, "ensure that Lyra also doesn't do anything dramatic again. Now, I really will be heading back." With that, the Queen starts to leave through the left passageway of the center, across from where I had entered.

"Wait!" I cry out, surprising even myself at my boldness.

The Queen doesn't stop moving, "If you want to know why I changed my mind, then, well, let's just say that you're of special interest to me."

What does that mean? I literally just told her my name like 15 minutes ago.

Before I could ask for clarification, Pandaya walks past me, neutral as always. "Come, there's a lot to be done." She starts towards the main entrance.

Don't I get any say in this? What if I don't want to live with them? I can't determine the nature of these people at all. First they almost killed me, then they almost enslaved me, and now they're nicely half forcing me to live among them? Maybe they're one of those professional torture cults. And yet, if they are such a cult, wouldn't they have gone through more effort to bind me and lock me up in the first place?

Well, what does it matter to me anyways? It's not like I particularly care about going back to where I was before.

I look over at Izheie, who is still standing there, having observed the entire scene. She nods at me, gesturing that I should follow Pandaya.

Not Earth anymore, huh… For now, I might as well see where this goes. Come on, Lyra, they said you're in a different world now.

I roll my eyes at the thought and approach the tall columns marking the exit of the pyramid after Pandaya - uncertain and annoyed, yet also a tiny bit curious.