Dancing with the devil

*Mackenzie pov

The weirdness continues. My first day back I attempted to rest. Snuggling on the couch with the kids, watching some of our favourite films and eating junk food. Jay always there. Watching. Insinuating himself into all conversations. Reminding me of his presence, and of his intentions. The next two days back involved much business. Funeral planning, informing company lawyers of Shauns death, sending internal emails to all staff members informing them that their jobs remain safe, banking and press announcements. Exhausting.

Jay insisting he accompany me to any appointments it would be suspicious for me to miss, and insisting the kids come along too. He says we deserve to have as much time together as we can after what we have just all been through. Again, it is just a clever ploy to keep us all together..... controllable. The kids think he is a great guy. I wonder if they'd feel the same way if they knew his true identity?

Today we have had a family day out! My kids desperate to spend time with me doing something fun. They suggested a theme park, and of course Mr Jeon came along too, in his capacity as protector, and not as the hostage taker he really is.

I tried my hardest to ignore his proximity, to outpace him in our excitement to get from one ride to another but despite his age he remains very physically fit and he is able to keep pace with us easily.

The kids encourage him to ride with us too, after all, most rides have seats for 2 or 4. He obliges every time asked, making sure to sit with one of the kids. In my mind a subtle threat to me... 'Try to run and I have your child.'

It terrifies me into acquiescence. I try to smile, to laugh, but it is the greatest challenge. I don't want to alarm my kids, but we are dancing with the devil.

I'm continually attempting to find a safe way out of this situation. Trying determinedly to work out what is our best option. To continue to play along, or try and make a break for it? For now I vote option A.

The kids are queuing for a particularly vomit inducing cyclone of terror that I cannot face. I sit out and Jay tells the kids he will keep me company while we wait for them.

Once Shay and Bo are well out of earshot Jay speaks,

"Isn't this nice Mackenzie? Aren't you having a wonderful day out? I know I am. This is what family trips should be like. Neither of us has ever experienced it before have we? A whole family trip. This will be the first of many trips I take with my children" he pronounces confidentially. "It is probably the last you will take though" he informs me menacingly. "Make the most of today Mackenzie, Yoongi will arrive soon and then it's all over for you both. Look upon the kids well... these will be some of your last hours with them. Make them count is my advice to you!"

I don't answer him, I have no time to talk to him, or listen to his threats.

I am working hard on trying to formulate a plan to get us out of this situation.

I consider playing up to Jay, telling him I have remembered what I found so attractive about him, suggesting we try to make a relationship work again. Maybe I can buy some time that way? The thought makes my skin crawl but I would do it if I felt it would help. I love my kids too much not to try everything in my power to stay with them.

I wonder if I could overpower him while he sleeps, but he sleeps on a chaise outside my bedroom door with that gun in his hand. I myself haven't slept more than a few minutes each night I've been home. Fear is a powerful stimulant but I decide I don't think I have the energy for that.

I never have a moment of time alone with either of the kids so I haven't been able to discuss things with them.

I decide I have to wing it, think on my feet and be ready to react to any opportunities presented to me.