I'll Support You

Tohru-kun's dream of becoming an author when he grew up, seeing his determination and will when he said he wanted to be just like Maple Satou had me stunned with awe.

I didn't have any redeeming traits at all. Even though Tohru-kun tried to deny it, I knew he was wrong. I wasn't like Tohru-kun, I didn't have any dreams of my own. Tohru-kun was so dazzling, that I decided I would do whatever I could to help achieve his dream. Was there anything I could do? I was deep in thought when something flashed by me.

"Here..."

Well, flashing was more of an exaggeration. But I did end up giving Tohru-kun a present, a charm that said "Realization of a Dream". Holding onto this charm will make any dream come true. This would be thanks for the charm he gave me earlier.

"Thanks so much! That makes me really happy!"

Tohru-kun looked so elated, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Seeing him so innocently happily caused my heart to feel all warm and fuzzy. Yet at the same time, I felt a sort of impatience. Tohru-kun worked hard every day, becoming an author is no small feat. It really was amazing. Compared to me, I have nothing. Every day passed by idly, I realized that I couldn't do that anymore.

"I'll do my best too."

I wanted something to strive for too, some sort of drive for the future. I proudly said that, as I stook out my chest. I made up my mind. I vowed to change my ways for the better. As the next day came and went, I replaced my usual manga for textbooks. Everyday, I would look at numbers and characters, putting in my best effort just like Tohru-kun.

_______________

I love Tohru-kun. It didn't take long for me to realize that. Around grade three or four was when that feeling finally awoke in me. However, I wasn't able to put my thoughts into words. I mean it was embarrassing after all. I was worried about what Tohru-kun would think about me. Even more than that, I didn't want to disturb our current relationship and assume things.

My grades had started improving significantly, so my mom and my teachers started praising me. It was all thanks to Tohru-kun. But it wasn't enough. My self-worth had been so low for so long, that my heart was still set that I wasn't good enough yet. There was still a lot more I could give that I hadn't yet. Not just in grades, I put more effort into sports, music and arts. I didn't want to be someone Tohru-kun would be ashamed to stand beside. That was what I decided.

"I think I'll upload stories on the Internet!"

It was autumn in our first year of middle school. It was an early afternoon on our day off when Tohru-kun suddenly said that. I learned that Syosetu was a site where you could upload your own stories.

"When you start writing, please tell me, okay?"

Whatever novels Tohru-kun had been writing, I had been reading them. We had this relationship for five years now, If he uploaded his stories on the net too, I would be right there reading them too. However...

"Once I start, I don't want you to read my novels for a while."

Huh...? I was taken aback, but Tohru-kun explained himself awkwardly. He said if he wanted to be a pro, he didn't want to be spoiled by me anymore. He wanted to sand alone and fight this battle by himself. That was why he wanted me to wait, so in the future when he would become popular and get published, I would be the first one to read his story. That was what he told me.

"Alright... then."

If that was what Tohru-kun wanted, there was nothing I could do to stop him. It would be lonely being unable to read his stories, but I would hold on for now. Besides, I felt happy. Tohru-kun was doing whatever it took to better himself as an author, to reach his dream. Regardless, he said if he gets published, I would be the first one to read his story. So, I'll be waiting for him until that time.

"Alright, I'll be looking forward to the day when Tohru-kun becomes an author!"

Even though I wouldn't be reading anymore, I wanted to do whatever I could to help him. I put my heart and soul into those words.

_________________

"How's your novel doing?"

I asked Tohru-kun that question a little while after he started posting stories online.

"It's... doing okay-ish, I think...?"

Tohru-kun started blinking like crazy, Ah, so it was that...

When Tohru-kun said okay-ish, he really meant it wasn't going well. It didn't seem like he really wanted to talk about it. So, I gave him a single sentence as encouragement.

"Do your best!"

But I was worried. I was so worried in fact, that I decided to check out Syosetu for myself. There wasn't any reason in particular, but I just wanted to see what Tohru-kun had written, and I wanted to see if I could help somehow. It was those emotions that swirled around in me. Syosetu had about 500,000 stories. Thinking about it, finding one work in that vast sea is like a needle in a haystack.

But, I had been reading Tohru-kun's stories for five years now. More than anyone else, I had a better grasp of his way of writing, the way he developed his ideas and his taste in stories. That was why it was fine, I believed that I would find it. I would look at the site for a while, mastering the basics of the site.

"Alright..."

First, with the search function, I narrowed it down to Tohru-kun's favorite genres. Then I sorted by most recently updated. I knew that Tohru-kun is an insanely fast writer, so I was on the lookout for a story that was updated daily. The works that had updates yesterday and today in the specific genre were 236. So many titles were flying past my screen, as I was reading them one by one.

Out of all the works that started around the time Tohru-kun did and updated everyday was 28. I was worried that I might have removed his story by filtering out the stories that didn't update everyday, but I hadn't given up hope. If that were the case, I would just lower the update frequency. Of the remaining 28 works, I scanned the summary, looking for Tohru-kun's style. So much time that the date changed, but I managed to find a story that resembled what I was looking for. Rather, it was at the level that I could confidently say that it was Tohru-kun's.

The author's username was "Kamino Tsuzuri".

My intuition was firing like crazy. During one of our recent social studies classes, there was a part in Adam Smith's "Wealth of Nations" about the concept of the "Invisible Hand". It was basically a way of saying how the market economy self-regulated itself. Lately, Tohru-kun seemed to be like that phrase a lot. Well, as of late, Tohru-kun seemed really keen on saying phrases with lots of difficult kanji and katakana strung together. Typical for boys his age, Tohru-kun developed a special sort of illness that occurred during the second year of middle school. In short, he was a chuunibyou.

Hmm, did he use an encyclopedia?

I wrote down that site. It seemed like a pretty normal illness that happened to boys around this time. They tend to utter a lot of cool phrases that don't really have any meaning. Well regardless, the username seems to fit what Tohru-kun was going through. I really wanted to think it was Tohru-kun...

I steeled myself and started reading the first chapter. As I read through the words, I became more and more convinced that this was Tohru-kun's writing. The wording, phrasing and development, it was all there. It was without a doubt Tohru-kun's work. It had only been a week since I last read his writing, but I could feel a sense of nostalgia welling up within me. The work that I loved so much started spreading out in front of my eyes.

I read up to the last chapter and opened the comment box. There wasn't anything at all...

There was only one way to fix this. I knew more than anyone else how hard a process it was to write a story, I mean I watched Tohru-kun so closely for how many years. Putting in so much work and having no comments at all...

That might have been why Tohru-kun looked so dejected. It was like the white box was staring back at him, giving him so much pain. Before I knew it, I started typing. They were my simple but honest thoughts. But I kept my words simple, because if I typed everything out, he might notice it was me. My tone might have given it away too, so I used words I frequently didn't use.

"This is my first comment here, but this is very interesting. Please do your best, thanks author!"

When I submitted my comment, I was greeted with a pop-up telling me to enter a username.

"Username..."

Because I wanted to send my comment as quickly as possible, I went with a simple username: "Nira". I left it to the imagination to see how safe it was. After sending it, I got a reply immediately from Toh- no, Tsuzuri-sensei.

"Thank you so much for your thoughts!!!!!!!!!! This is my first comment!!!!!!!! I'm so happy, like wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like really, thanks so much, like thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll be looking forward to more of your comments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I started laughing like crazy reading his overzealous comment, It was like I could feel the happiness coming off the screen. But it was all good, from the bottom of my heart, I was relieved. From then on, the digital relationship between the online author, Kamino Tsuzuri, and the reader, Nira, would begin.

_______________

"Now that I've been doing this for a while, if I want to become an author, I have to get better at using technology, I have to build up my vocabulary and I need experience. Otherwise, it won't be enough."

It was the day after I posted my comment. Tohru-kun started talking to me. He told me he felt like an average person and he was ignorant of the outside world. He had no technological skills or experience, so he said he needed more time in order to become an author. Having had his weaknesses completely exposed, Tohru-kun resolved himself and spoke again.

"I'll become an author no matter what... it doesn't matter how long it takes, but I will become one."

Ah, I really did have so much respect for Tohru-kun. Even though he had his weaknesses exposed right in front of him, he faced them head on and continued to move forward and grow. Even though it might have seemed easy, I knew how challenging it could be. With his strength, he will, no, he surely will...

"You'll be fine."

With conviction, I told him that.

"You'll definitely become an author, I guarantee it."

I've always been looking at him, reading his works, I knew that Tohru-kun will without a doubt become an author. It may take a long time, but he will.

"I'll always be here for you."

It was all thanks to Tohru-kun that I've been able to face my own weaknesses. Tohru-kun cheered me on the whole way through when I was an empty shell. I was who I was because of him.

So now it was my turn. I would always be with him, so I knew. Even though it didn't look like it, Tohru-kun was pretty fragile. He would get tunnel vision often and often lose sight of everything else when he focuses on one thing. It was scary when that happened.

But it would be fine because I will always be with him. If for whatever reason, Tohru-kun begins to break and he can't see what's around him, I'll be there to support him. Until the day his dream comes true, I'll support him forever for however long.

And even after his dream comes true, it would be great if we continued supporting each other all along the way.