Chapter 18: Spring Fever

Now that she had drunkenly confessed her feelings and kissed him, Sarah couldn't help but think about what she wanted with James. She stared out the window of the living room, wondering how she could be closer to him.

It was only two days after the Masque and so far James had been polite, but seemed to avoid long interactions with her. As Sarah watched him work in the stables, she almost got dizzy from the thick heat that hung in the air. She looked down and realized she was still wearing her wool layers. Spring was now in full effect, and she needed to put on a lighter dress and discard her winter attire.

Moments later, Sarah sat on her bed in the sweltering heat, annoyed by the half-dozen layers of underthings she was currently wearing. Not anymore: it was time to banish her wool stockings and cumbersome extra layers until September. Thus, she began to shed her heavy clothes.

She slipped on lighter silk stockings and started to fuss with the laces on her heavy petticoat. It was time for her spring one, but she was stuck. Her fingers tugged at a knot in the laces.

Frustrated, she gave up for a moment and flopped back on her bed. She missed the refreshing sea. She wanted to go swimming. Suddenly, she recalled her intense dream about James the night before her birthday.

The water was cool, his imagined affections were enticing. Maybe someday they'd actually go to the beach. She reached down and pulled at the knot once more. It finally came loose and she laid a moment more, petticoats half off, enjoying the release from her overburdened layers. Now free from the strain, she was halfway asleep when a knock on her door awoke her. She sat up in a start.

"Miss? I've just come by to return your dress. The feathers have been tended to."

"Thank you. I'm sorry, I was just..." She mumbled as she sat up, "changing." She was happy for her light, fluffy petticoat. She carefully tightened the waistline and selected her afternoon dress, a light blue muslin frock. She decided to skip her extra layers and only wore one set of stockings. She felt free, and knew exactly what she wanted. Perhaps she would see what James was up to, but then remembered: she needed an excuse.

So she grabbed a basket and nearly skipped out of the house. She began to wander among her family's small cherry grove, happily picking the fresh produce, filling her basket with the small, sweet fruits. The weather was beautiful--the skies were clear, the grass was healthy and bright. The sunlight was spotted from between the branches and leaves. She strolled along the perfect mix of sun and shade as her muslin gown gently swished among the dewy grass. The glittery moisture danced on the blades of grass, dusted along the fresh green slivers.

As she went, she thought about what she wanted with James. She cast off her inhibitions and decided she'd pursue him. So she happily daydreamed as she went from tree to tree: how could she flirt with James covertly? She knew he liked her. She also knew it was seen as wrong. But if no one else noticed, they wouldn't get in trouble. She would risk being with James, assuming they wouldn't get caught. But was James willing to risk that?

He had tried to politely keep his distance. He was desperate to ignore his feelings for Sarah ever since they'd kissed. But she wasn't giving up that easily.

"James, look. First of the year. Want one?"

James looked up from adjusting Nora's new bridle and saw Sarah before him, a teasing grin complimenting her bright eyes. He stared intently, surprised, and set the bridle down on the bench next to him.

"Are those--cherries?!" He got up to observe her findings.

"First of the season. I just picked them from the orchard. Come have one."

"They--they're so expensive...." He looked at them, tempted even though they weren't his for the having.

"One can't hurt you. We'll sell the rest anyway." She inched closer, with a coy smile. "I won't tell if you won't." She murmured as she teasingly made eyes at him. "Don't you want to enjoy the...fruits of your labor?"

"All right." He agreed, breaking into a smile and holding out his hand.

She picked up a bright red cherry from her basket. It was fresh, sweet and slightly wet from the dew that hung in the early May air.

She simply popped the cherry into his mouth, and pulled back the stem.

"Delicious!" He said, savouring the sweet juices, as she intently watched. "It's so...refreshing. Thank you, Miss Sarah."

"Good." She flashed a confident smile. "I was hoping you'd like it."

"So..." She set down the basket on the bench and inched closer to James.

"Do you want to go for a walk? It's the best weather this year so far."

"Well..." James mused as he looked back at his work and then at Sarah. "I suppose a short break wouldn't hurt."

She looked around and once certain they were alone, her fingers slowly laced with his as they walked off together.

They walked on, making idle chatter until they found a secluded place and laid on the lush grass. Sarah had eaten a couple cherries as well. She licked the juice off her slightly stained fingers. She propped her elbow up to rest her chin in her hand. She looked over at James, and leaned in.

Their lips met, his tongue grazing hers and she murmured softly against their kiss. He tasted the sweet juice that made her lips sticky. She slowly laid him down as they were now side by side. Her fingers wove through the soft tangles of his long brown hair. He curled an arm around her slim waist as their kisses lengthened. Her dress was smooth as his hand lingered on her hip.

They were wrapped in each other, totally oblivious to the world around them.

It was perfect.

~*~

Will and Augustus were also doing well. Over the past few weeks, they'd spent countless hours happily ignoring the world together. As though he'd contemplate it any other way, Will wrote about it.

Every-thing is going so well with Augustus!

He paused and recalled how well it had been going lately.

They'd meet by their tree and curl up among the greenery and talk. They'd share semi-submerged, wet kisses after diving into the peaceful, sparkling river, totally alone. They were so free, and spring was the perfect time for their romance.

Things changed while we were waiting out the dreary winter. Augustus came and changed every-thing for the better! I think what I appreciate the most is that I never have to wonder whether or not he feels the same way about me as I do him.

Constant affections are never enough to express how enamored we both are. And every-thing we have shared up until this point has been sheer bliss. If I'm not in love with him yet, I don't think it will be much longer until I am.

And so be it!

Society may be against it, but the Universe seems to want it. And the Universe is much larger than society. In fact, no one knows how big the Universe is.

When I think of it that way, all of the opinions from people seem so small compared to a Universe we can-not measure. So how much do their absurd rules or opinions matter in the first place? I shall keep working on disregarding every word from my parent's mouths! And--

"Will?"

He looked over his shoulder at Augustus as he sprawled on their bed. Warm, invigorating sunlight spilled into the room. He'd been restlessly flipping through a book for the past fifteen minutes. But he lost interest when he decided he'd much rather distract Will with a very particular brand of attention.

Will smiled. His eyes scanned him and just from the look on his face, he decided he was ready.

"Coming."

He turned back and finished his entry.

I will be all the happier for it!

~ W. Garnett

He pushed his journal aside and joined Augustus.

"So," Augustus asked as Will contently draped himself on their bed, having not a single care in the world. "Where are your parents?"

"In town, doing business again." He replied, laying on his back, arms folded behind his head. "Making more precious money."

"The girls?" He asked with a hand on Will's chest, hoping they'd be alone.

Will rolled onto his side, contently staring at Augustus. "Mary took Elizabeth for a walk. Violet comes at four, and Lily went out back to the garden until then." He shifted much closer to Augustus, a hand idly trailing along his side. "

"Hopefully all for a very long time." He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Augustus blushed, then broke into a confident smirk when Will pulled him closer.

He grabbed Will's hand and kissed it. Will watched the sunlight spark in Augustus's eyes. Mesmerized by the sight, he pulled him in, their lips mingling intently, warm and slow. Will instinctively lifted a hand to slowly caress his cheek.

He eagerly laid on his back as Augustus leaned into him, mouth partly open, his tongue ever-so-slightly slipping into--

"Did you want--oh God!" she cried, incredulous.

They quickly parted and looked over at the door. There Lily stood, eyes wide, gradually backing away as the door opened further with a tiny, awkward creak. She refused to look at either of them. Saying not a single word, she turned and left.

"Oh my God!" Will leapt off his bed, begging for his sister to let him explain. "Li--Lily!"

He looked back at Augustus for a second. "Don't move." He whispered with a quick kiss.

Grunting with frustration, his feet clamored noisily across his bedroom floor, desperate to catch up to and beg forgiveness from his sister.

He rushed up to Lily, calling her name, frantically pleading with her as she marched in a silent, straight line further from their room.

"Lily! Lily! Please, I--I--"

He ran to the next door ahead of her, and planted himself between her and whomever could be on the other side.

If any servants heard even a snippet of their conversation, they would be obligated to inform his parents. He had to control the damage, now!

"Lily, I-I'm so sorry, I..." he shook his head, and couldn't even begin to explain.

"You don't have to apologise, it's..." she sighed and folded her arms. She couldn't even look at him. And she had no idea what to say.

"You didn't need to--see that..." he murmured, looking away, face scrunched up with guilt. Perhaps they were lucky she walked in on them when she did.

"It's all right, I'm just...I'm shocked but not surprised...if that makes any sense." She let her arms fall to her sides and broke into a nervous smile, though it quickly faded. She shut her eyes for a second, trying to process everything.

Wait...

This made so much sense now! How they acted around each other, how nervous Will seemed lately...the play! That's where their argument over the conflict in Romeo and Juliet came from!

How long had they been together? Was there something she should've noticed or told him?

And wasn't this wrong? Wasn't liking Sarah just more...natural for him? Why would he even want to kiss Augustus?

But she had to speak before the growing silence between them confirmed her disapproval.

He still blocked the door, but now he was slumped over, arms tightly folded in front of him, closing in on himself, staring down as though he was transfixed by their choice of rug.

Her eyes widened. She could destroy him with the next words she spoke.

"It was just..."

Wrong...

"Unexpected! That's all. Really." She nodded, desperate to convince him.

"God, please. Please don't tell them. They can't know!" he cried, clutching her arm. "They'd be furious! Wh--what if they hurt him?! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Pl--please-"

He finally looked at his sister again. "Please don't hate me." He whispered.

"I don't hate you. It's all right; I'll keep your secret, I will." She pulled him close, trying to comfort him. She knew she had to protect her brother and show him the same compassion and trust he'd shown her.

She held him for a moment, feeling as he curled around her in shame, almost like he wanted to disappear.

The moment passed and they parted. Lily stood back and regained composure, smoothing out her dress.

"Well, Violet should be here soon." she announced, straightening up again.

"All right." Will replied, stuffing a hand to his pocket and shifting his weight back from her in an attempt to seem casual. "Will--will you be all right?"

"Of course." She assured him with a lighthearted smile, and turned to leave.

"Lily?"

She turned around.

"Thank you for not hating me." Will's small voice wavered.

She smiled at him again and left.

~*~

"Everything all right?" Augustus asked a moment later, his concerned eyes following Will from the bedroom doorway, making sure to close the door tightly behind them, locking it this time as well.

"Fine for now, I guess." He replied, slowly crossing the room. "That was awful."

"You'll both be fine." Augustus soothed, a hand rubbing his shoulder.

"You should relax." He suggested, leading him back to the sunny bed. They laid back down and were now staring into each other's eyes. He brushed back a lock of Will's light hair. Only when he was this close did he see Will was nearly crying.

"She probably hates me." Will insisted, voice quivering.

"She does not. Lily loves you." Augustus said, wiping away a small tear.

"Besides, I love--" He paused.

"--how well you get along. You help her all the time, with that work? You knew she'd repay for that somehow. Maybe this is how."

"You're right." Will finally began to relax. Lily hadn't rejected him; so maybe he had nothing to worry about. He broke into a smile, and focused all his energy on Augustus again.

"Come here." He murmured contently, a hand on his waist, pulling him close again. They snuggled up on the warm, soft bed, not moving for quite a while, just enjoying this time, these sweet, stolen moments where Will could ignore everything else in the world.

As his anxiety retracted, he felt able to pursue Augustus once more. He broke their clasp and sat up as Augustus did the same. Will leaned in and kissed him again. Augustus replied in kind, and slowly leaned into him as they laid down. They were together in the beautiful spring sunlight.

Will felt free and content. His hand idly trailed Augustus's body, slowly rubbing his back as their kisses lengthened. He kissed and nuzzled his neck, speaking again:

"You locked the door?"

Augustus nodded.

Will's eyes lit up.

"Good."