Chapter 24: The Writing on the Wall

17 July 1666

Quarter-To-Eleven in the Morning-

My life has been pleasantly altered, and my birth-daye was a total success!

Last night, my parents gave me a splendid party by River Wey! So many of my friends and family friends were there including...Augustus's parents! It was wonderful to see them again, and it made Augustus so happy! It truly moved me when Caroline thanked me for helping him when he was so de-pressed and she said I was "like family"!! Maurice and Alec were there as well. They looked so content to be together, just like Augustus and I.

Father's toast was very nice, I'm glad he can see I've become a man. He doesn't have to know about Augustus, but I am making my own choices, just like he said. They were very kind to give me such a splendid party; maybe things will be better with them now!

They had Sarah as a surprise guest, but suddenly, it didn't feel like a gift so much as (another) expectation. Everyone circled around us, seemed to want a sign of affection. I properly kiss'd her hand. She looked stunning! A brand new (self-designed of course,) dress with that fabric she'd bought in Italy, her hair was beautiful...but I still didn't feel anything. We hugged, and her comfort soothed me, until I opened my eyes and saw Augustus looking as unhappy as I felt.

I rush'd off, and found Uncle Deus was by the River, as he stared at the stars. He knew it was me before he turned around! Then he gave me my birthdaye presents! Two books that just might change my life.

One called Symposium which is an Ancient Greek text about the Phi-losophey of love in their culture. They would not hate us!

Achilles & Patroclus are two men who were to-gether as we are, but they're con-sidered heroes for their brave acts in a war with the Persians. A character in Symposium said that they were the ideal for a loving couple. The Iliad tells the tale of their heroic feats. He said something that touched my heart...that I should "live my life on my own terms". What an amazing, sweet thing to say; I am so grateful for him!

But the best one was what Augustus had for me. His gift was one of the sweetest things I've ever been given. He wrote me a note to wish me a happy birthdaye.....and that he loves me! I couldn't believe it! I thought I'd say it first, but no, he did.

Once I read that, and spoke it aloud, I couldn't get it out of my mind. I said I loved him too and started to wonder what that meant for our relation-ship. Did that mean anything should change?

A moment later, I looked at him for a second; he'd just taken off his shift and he looked...different than usual.

Something within me changed in that precise moment, our relation-ship felt more serious than before. Things had progressed very enjoyably in June, and my feelings were even stronger last night than they were then.

My eyes never left him as he approached me. I realised this was it. This was love. Once you're in love, you have to act in...another way to express such affections.

Once he was by my side, I watched the firelight gleam in his pretty green eyes. I kissed him softly, slowly. I pulled him closer and his body was so warm and inviting against mine.

We kept kissing and eagerly laid down. I felt his hand slowly trace along my back. I started to breathe a bit heavily and my heart sped up as he continued. What could make this feel so different than before? Maybe it was his words or his body, but before I could stop myself, I begged him for more. He just smiled and mentioned last time. The memories of such sweetness rush'd back.

Yet with a half-dozen words and the look on my face, he knew what I wanted. What I needed. What we both deserved from each other.

I had thought about doing more with him before of course, but wanted to choose the right moment, so it could be romantic and meaning-ful. We're both adults now. Who can stop us?

He kept asking if it was what I wanted. I looked right at him and told the truth: I wanted him.

I felt a confidence I'd never experienced before! I crawl'd over him, kissing his neck, caressing his body. We kissed again and again, both clearly excited. I was thrilled when I realised there was nothing separating us anymore. The intimacy was invigorating.

Of those sweet moments I recall that every time he touched me, I wanted only him.

Each time I caress'd him, it felt like his skin was burning through me, fusing us together. When I kissed him, I could tell he wanted more. I began to pursue him and his breath went shallow and he gipp'd my hand as I continued.

He didn't wait long to reply. I watched in anticipation and laid back, shocked. I was delightfully unfettered from my usual thoughts as sensations swirled around me.

Suddenly, he moved back up, kissing me fiercely.

He asked if I was sure as his eyes burned through me.

Yes. I pleaded. I then felt his warm hands slide over my body, and turn me. Yes. I whimpered, lost in my desires.

He pull'd me close with a feeling that was nothing short of enticing! I inhaled sharply at all the sensations when we united, and then exhaled, feeling such a rush, the intensity sent sparks between us! We began slowly, and he was very careful to not hurt me any. Once I was ready, we continued.

His affections never stopped. He was always touching me, or kissing my neck, or grasping my hip to keep us close.

After some time, his body tightly curled around mine. His lips crashed against me, with an intensity I cannot describe.

With each second, there was more and more energy coursing between us. Almost out of nowhere, his warm breath got heavier and heavier against my neck as his body tightened.

I felt him tremble against me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me as we shared the sweet release of tension. He whimpered in my ear that he love'd me, again and again.

I knew he belonged there, at my side, hearts and bodies entwined forever. As we laid happily exhausted, I curled into his arms and knew I wanted no one else. Ever.

I looked over at him and realised he had never looked more beautiful as he did just then, with the candlelight glinting in his eyes. He glowed with a radiance the sun would envy!

I soon felt a haze slowly lift, and realised that I now have a lover. Yes, a lover! Lover!

Augustus is so amazing. I can't believe I ever thought he wouldn't like me. I used to be so in-secure, feeling so guilty for wanting these things, so wrong for having this attraction. But now, that's gone. I swear, I'll never let anything or anyone make me feel that way again!

I fell asleep next to a lover and I awoke, for the very first time, in the arms of a lover. I hope, the first of many times!

~*~

And so, the day after Will's birthday continued happily.

As Uncle Deus had explained, his new books were the start of an initiative to study the norms of Ancient Greek society & the ways it legitimized and encouraged his relationship. His Uncle had learned about the great culture in his own youth, and took a second look per their current needs.

They deserved role models, and he would go to any lengths to find them.

Later on that day, Will was going through a few more books Uncle Deus had left for him to borrow.

"Uncle Deus loaned me some extra books about Ancient Greece. This one is about Alexander the Great." He paused, studying the pages. "It says he identified with Achilles and it inspired his success. He's one of the greatest Generals in history. He grew up in Macedonia & his father was skilled too. He got inspired when his father showed him paintings and writing explaining the success of heroes like Achilles. They were written on the walls in different caves."

"Interesting. Maybe he'll inspire us too."

Per usual, Will read aloud to Augustus.

The Iliad was quite long, so he chose to skip some chapters and mainly focus on the specifics of Achilles and Patroclus's roles in the story.

"Here's the part I was looking for!"

Will exclaimed one afternoon, delighted.

Augustus looked up, eager to learn of these new-found heroes.

"Achilles doesn't want to participate in the war because he's feuding with Agamemnon, but Patroclus wants to help. He's asking Achilles if he can wear his armor in his place. Everyone will think it's really him and back down. Listen to this."

'Some beam of comfort on Greece may shine if I but lead the Myerdian line.

Clad in thy dreadful arms if I appear Proud Troy shall tremble and desert the war.

Without thy person Greece shall win the day.

And thy mere image chase her foes away.

Press'd by fresh forces, her o'relabour'd train shall quit the ships and Greece respire again.' "

"That's so...noble."

Will was shocked by his next discovery. "I think they really are in love. Achilles agreed and now this almost sounds like he wanted to reward him with fame and love."

'Go then, Patroclus! Court fair honors charms,

in Troy's famed field and in Achilles arms.

Lead forth my martial Myremidions to fight.

Go save the fleets and conquer in my right. ' "

"And then, Achilles sent a prayer to the Gods after Patroclus left to keep him safe. He missed him so much that he said with 'Patroclus gone, I stay but half behind'."

Augustus looked at Will, in awe. "In other words, he completed him & was his other half. Now that is romantic." He leaned over, and kissed Will, delicately caressing his face.

He sat back and admired Will as he eagerly studied the pages before him.

His eyes traveled intently over each line, scanning for more information about the brave couple. He'd spent almost two hours scouring his new book, just to find certain chapters to give them a couple to relate to.

Until Uncle Deus had told Will this, they didn't have that kind of encouragement.

Augustus liked that these men were both strong and brave, and that Homer gave them full personalities.

He was so happy they'd found characters they could relate to, and escape with.

Maybe it would empower them too.

They may not have been fighting a war, but they needed strength in their unjust world.

~*~

Will was equally moved:

This is amazing. My eyes are open & my heart beats freely!

Uncle Deus inspired me. Who knew the Ancient world had ideas normal to them which in our modern age are met with fear and outrage? We as people get used to the idea that as we move forward old ideas are obsolete; belonging only in the past. Yet it now looks like some things are being re-considered.

Sarah mention'd this about her trip to Italy in March. Thanks to discoveries by recent scholars, they have old writing and art from Greece and Rome. Now everyone is studying them.

Their art, literature, philosophy, theatre, achievements in astronomy and mathematics too. So what about their social customs?

This all started to help me see my relation-ship with Augustus differently. I long to walk side by side with him in love, and proudly so. Alas, this desire is so de-voyed from reality.

How can we live by their morals in our time? I suppose by thoughts and small actions we do for each other. We shall continue to take pride in our relation-ship. Secretly, we'll emulate this brave pair!

~*~

The next day, Will and his mother visited Sarah's once again. Will couldn't focus on Sarah, he was too wrapped up in his actual romance, and his newest reading to pretend he was smitten with her.

Will also didn't notice his mother's displeasure at his continual lack of progress. Having Sarah come over didn't create her desired result. What--or who--was taking Will's focus?

She has an inkling about what was going on. And she hated the answer.

~*~

She observed Will later that same day, just to be sure. He and Augustus were setting in to have a quick drink in the Solarium and watch the sunset before reading their new books upstairs. Will was completely content.

It all looked so clear now, as she observed silently from the living room doorway, unseen.

Will was looking at Augustus the way he was supposed to look at Sarah! He smiled, absolutely content, laughing at something he'd just said. Her eyes trailed down, and her blood boiled.

They were holding hands.

She flounced to her bedroom anger surging through her slender body.

"I've become very concerned by Will's behaviour." She announced to her husband as a servant removed her dress and loosened her corset for her.

"I'm doing all I can to prepare him for the business." Her husband replied, sipping his usual nightcap.

"No, with Sarah. He barely says two words to her, but spends hours with Augustus." She insisted, removing her silver hairpiece.

"They've known each other forever. What's the harm?"

Margaret paused, waiting for the servant to leave and shut the door.

"I'm certain that something is wrong." Margaret insisted, now letting her dark hair down. "Watch them anytime. He has no interest in Sarah. It doesn't make sense. How is that possible? She's a pretty girl, they have enough in common, what else does he need?!"

"They're just friends." Francis insisted, waving the thought away. "It has nothing to do with being shy over a girl he doesn't know."

"My concern," she retorted, now brushing her hair smooth in front of her mirror, "is that it's become...inappropriate. With Augustus."

"Inappropriate?! How?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at his wife.

"I think they're....more affectionate than they should be..." Her voice shook in rage, she couldn't believe she was saying this aloud about her own son, "with each other."

She turned sharply towards him, after tying the sash on her silk bathrobe.

"Be serious!" Francis snorted with a hearty chuckle as she approached their bed. His amused reaction melted away once he saw his wife's face.

Her eyes burned, and her lips were in a straight line. She was being serious.

"So you think our son, would have...designs on Augustus? Fancying a boy?! That's ridiculous! Besides, what's to like? Not as though he comes from good stock. But you really think he has no interest in her, and--"

"Correct." His wife insisted, settling into bed next to him, lying against their headboard. "None. And if we let him ignore Sarah, then everything falls apart! What would happen to our family? How could we afford the house? He has to take the business and they need to get married! it's about survival, not his whims! He can't just do anything he wants, he's not a child anymore! What he does is a consequence for us."

"He's not making progress with Sarah?" He asked, frowning.

"I don't think; I know he has no interest. Hasn't said more than two words to her. It's been months! I don't think he's trying as much as he says he is. I gave him the benefit of the doubt at first, but no more. Now that I can see Augustus is the problem."

"So we need to find out what's going on."

She declared, turning to him, grasping his arm.

"Otherwise, if we don't set him right now, even if he marries Sarah, that's it. They obviously need to have children and I'm very concerned he wouldn't even...I mean, he wouldn't..."

"Be up for the task?" Her husband pointedly replied.

She shut her eyes, sighing heavily. "In so many words, yes."

"I think you're overreacting, and seeing things that aren't there. You're just nervous about everything going as planned. Stop this fussing." He told his wife, slowly pulling her closer. "We raised him well, he's just resisting to avoid responsibility."

He kissed her cheek.

Margaret had heard Francis's denials before, but this felt serious.

She needed to trust her instincts. Something was happening.

And she had to find out what, with or without her husband's knowledge.

She had to be sneaky and careful, like a tiger watching her prey. This would be a slow, but ambitious process.

She needed to keep a constant eye on both of them, yet still making sure they wouldn't notice.

She would wait until they weren't looking.

And then she would pounce.

~*~

Meanwhile, the boys were reading again, having left the Solarium for their room.

"Oh, but it's so sad." Will said, frowning as he read. "Achilles told him to only push the forces back to their ships, but he had everyone go after the opposition. Hector saw him in Achilles's armor and thought it was him. He killed him."

Will furrowed his brow and flipped through the pages for a second.

"Achilles was heartbroken and mourned him for weeks. He killed Hector for revenge."

The next night, they went onto Symposium. Even though Will liked philosophy, he found some of the philosophical arguments wordy & rather confusing, so he skipped parts of it too. He excitedly located the passage his Uncle had encouraged him to find.

"This is the part Uncle Deus told me to look for!" Will quipped, gleeful to find such an eye-opening passage.

'Very different was the reward of the true love of Achilles towards his lover Patroclus.

Achilles was quite aware, for he had been told by his mother, that he might avoid death and return home and live to a good old age if he abstained from slaying Hector.

Nevertheless he gave his life to revenge his friend and dared to die, not only in his defense, but after he was dead.

Wherefore the Gods honored him even above Alcestis, and sent him to the Islands of the Blest.

These are my reasons for affirming that Love is the eldest and noblest and mightiest of the Gods; and the chiefest author and giver of virtue in life, and of happiness after death.' "

"That's beautiful, but so sad." Will said thoughtfully, closing the book.

"At least they died for noble causes." Augustus said earnestly. "Patroclus died trying to protect Achilles, and then Achilles died to avenge Patroclus.

They both gave their lives because they were in love. If you have to die young, at least let it mean something."

~*~

The next day, Will decided to surprise Augustus with a note and left a page marked for him in his journal. He stood from his usual table in the Drawing room.

He decided he wanted to share entries about their experience on his birthday, plus the excitement over new role models as well. He finished a small note:'

'See marked page. I love you'

And added a few hearts around it. He put the note against the wall so it was easily accessible to Augustus, and left his closed journal on the table. He turned, and left.

He tapped Augustus's shoulder. He turned around.

"Go to the Drawing room." He whispered.

"What? Why?"

"Just go. I have a surprise for you." He teased with a playful nudge. He kissed his cheek, and slipped away.

He was going out that afternoon to spend time with Sarah, on his own terms, without so much pressure. They and a few other friends had decided to meet up for a late lunch, and get to know Sarah better.

Will wasn't happy with marrying her, but if nothing else it would help to have her as a friend, maybe an ally. A partner in derailing their engagement.

As Will had hoped, Augustus did find his note. He sat and read the indicated entries. He was intrigued and flattered at Will's recollections.

Augustus knew he had to write him a sweet little message back. He took the original note with him and happily bounded upstairs, eager to reply.