CHAPTER XVI: Unwanted Sorrow

Exams week was finally upon us.

For the entire weekend, I basically lived inside my own room.

Let's just say I didn't get to sleep a wink.

Everytime I tried to sleep, those freaking plates would haunt my dreams.

I had pen marks on the side of my hand, charcoal on my fingertips, and paper cuts on various parts of my arms.

I don't even want to remember how I got those cuts. I can just say that when you're finishing plates, never, I mean never, go into a fit of rage.

That totally led me nowhere.

It just made a huge mess out of my catastrophic room.

When I arrived at the once noise abundant academy, it seemed like it took a major U-turn from its original state.

It was so quiet that you can even hear the fluttering of the birds' wings.

Students were almost camouflaging.

Everyone had their nose stuck between the pages of their books.

Some of them were even chanting, either prayers, memorized words, or maybe a mix of both.

I was in conflict about whether I should be at awe every time I witness this sudden turn of events or should I be weirded out by their dualities.

Either way, this is just one of the most precious times that I gain absolute solitude and peace from the worldly noise.

That was what I was expecting, but two days passed and another booming issue caused a major rackus in the campus.

We were in for the last exam for the day, exactly ten minutes left before the actual dismissal.

I was already finished with my written test. Similar to other normally bored students, I was just filling the blank spaces in my paper with unknown sketches.

When the bell finally rang, the professor immediately gathered the papers. Without waiting any further, I left the room right after I handed mine out.

I was planning to go home already because Haru and the others are still busy with their respective exams. I’m not entirely sure of their exact schedules, but due to that very reason, we barely met these past few days.

To make matters worse, I’m a little uncomfortable knowing that it’s disturbing me how alone I am at the moment.

They might have been getting to me.

Just a little bit.

Almost molecular in terms of size.

And this is not me being defensive.

Nope! Not at all.

"Why are they doing that here?!"

My contemplation of irrelevant internal matters was somehow rudely disturbed by a crowd of gossiping individuals.

Wait.

Gossip? In the middle of the midterm examinations week?

The only possible gossip that can accumulate in this type of setting can either be about an apprehended cheater or an unexpected public humiliation that doesn’t involve cheating.

"Aren't they part of the football team?"

"Are they allowed to do that?"

"Gosh! They're disturbing everyone!"

From what I’m hearing, not that I intended to listen in the first place, the source of afternoon gossip is more of the latter.

I didn’t want to be part of such a thing, but I can’t seem to go through the crashing and squishing of human bodies.

Therefore, I was forced to watch and speculate along with the buzzing bees.

Good thing, I was quite tall. I could see some of what’s happening. Although, not clearly, because I was situated quite far from the center.

I can only determine that there was another bullying scene happening.

Damn, déjà vu.

To think that these past few months, I kept on seeing and mildly experiencing public humiliation.

That made my head ache terribly.

I don’t understand how bullying is still a ‘trend.’ I mean, they’re college students already, it literally indicates that their comprehensive ability and their logic is far more superior than that of a grade schooler.

Yet, here they are. Acting more like a child than a typical five year old.

I just shook my head at that. Immaturity is rather rampant for the brain of the unprepared.

This applies to them.

The grizzlies who were ganging up on the poor soul looked like they were extremely angry at something.

One of them pointed at a particular direction.

Like a wave, the spectators turned their heads in sync towards the said direction.

And there stands a somewhat familiar face.

She had short brown hair, height thaw was quite average, and wore an overly layered make-up.

I squinted my eyes to see her more clearly and that's when it hit me.

She was one of the girls in the meeting before.

I think.

What a weird coincidence.

Or so I thought. When I looked back at the scene, the students dispersed like the red sea as the grizzlies began to get agitated.

Fortunately, this made me see what was actually happening.

And viola! It was Gioffer.

I wouldn't say that I didn't expect this to happen, one way or another.

"You fucking arrogant bitch!" One of the grizzlies roughly grabbed Gioffer's collar.

"You're not even apologizing?! Huh, you bastard?!" He forcibly shoved him on the wall and stood closer in an act of intimidation.

"For what?" Gioffer responded emotionlessly.

"For what?! The fuck?! You humiliated my girlfriend, you prick!"

Ah, so she was the girlfriend.

I sneaked a peek at the aforementioned and she was standing there with a visible smirk plastered on her face.

Damn, so that's what a two-faced person looks like.

I was brought back to the previous scene when I heard a loud, insulting laugh.

It was Gioffer.

"What the fuck are you laughing for?!" The grizzly boyfriend, again, shoved him against the wall, harder than the last one.

"Yeah, her suggestions were quite humiliating." Gioffer smirked which made the grizzly angrier than he already was.

"You think you're so smart, you fucker?"

Gioffer leaned in closer and said, "I wouldn't deny that."

In a blur, a fist met with his face.

"Oh my gosh! Someone call the professors!"

"Call security!"

I wanted to slap them. They could have called them from the beginning. What benefit would there be for calling them now?

I thought matters wouldn't become worse but I was mistaken.

I noticed that the other grizzlies were laughing at something.

They were also holding some tools.

When my vision got past the annoying heads in the crowd, that's when I saw it.

The painted canvas.

"You think you're some high and mighty god?" He threw another punch which made some of the watching girls squeal.

"Shouldn't you be the one apologizing to this god?" I was shocked when he punched him back.

I couldn't quite follow the fight because I was busy looking at the disastrous state of his artwork.

It didn't look like it was completely finished but I'm guessing it only needed a few minor touches.

But examining it now, it's indescribable.

It was wrecked and dirtied.

It was so similar to mine.

Unwanted images started to flash into my mind. Not just the once destroyed work of mine and that made me more miserable.

Gowns. Smoke. Laughter. Screams.

Fuck.

What pathetic fate can this be?

I turned around and left in haste. I didn't bother to watch what was happening anymore.

As I walked down the long hallway, people rushed past me. Plenty of them being professors and security guards.

But I couldn't care less.

I was determined to bury the mistakes but they just had to dig it out at every turn.

Going home made me even more miserable.

Within this enclosed space where only my thoughts suffocated me. There was absolutely no escape yet it was also the only place I can go to.

How ironic.

I can't even fall asleep. I knew that once I succumb to darkness, the fire will lit itself once again and engulf my dreams.

The thought strangled me.

"I'm sorry… am I punished enough?" I whispered within these cold walls. Hoping that someday it might reach them and when that day comes, I hope I get my answer.

The following days, the rumors about the event that transpired a few days ago wandered around the hallways of the academy.

"Apparently, the fight happened because the girlfriend pathetically cried in front of his boyfriend."

As anyone can guess, even Solar knows about it.

"But that girl, wasn't she with the captain of the baseball team? Oh, wait, no, I definitely saw her with the coach of the table tennis club."

"Solar, it's rude to backstab someone like that." Haru reprimanded the ranting girl.

"It's not backstabbing when it's true. Plus, what's there to stab when she's already being stabbed, you know?"

"Stabbed?"

Solar, that stupid woman. She definitely didn't pertain to anything innocent there.

"Haru, ignore her." I called out and patted his head.

He looked confused but agreed nonetheless.

Solar was appalled, "What? Why?!"

"I'll stab you if you utter anything further. With a fork." I threatened. She looked at me with a mixture of shock and distrust.

"Plus, it wasn't from the table tennis club. It was with the volleyball team." I rolled my eyes at her.

She stared at me with bulging eyes, "Wait! How did you know that?"

"Because I know it."

"Ha, ha, I mean you don't care about anyone, let alone be involved with their sexual affairs."

"I don't. It's not considered being involved when they did it directly in front of me." I raised my eyebrow at her.

Pause.

"What the hell?!" I ignored her and proceeded to drag Haru away.

As we were about to reach the garden, there were some students talking amongst themselves, if you completely disregard the actual loudness of their voices.

“What will happen to the archi department's designs?"

"Dunno, I guess they'll forfeit. Either way, there's nothing to expect anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"I heard the people who got involved in the right were not allowed to participate in the event."

"Really? Even the one who was being bullied?"

"I think so. There's some rumors going around that he was the one who provoked them. I don't really understand what actually happened but good thing for us, there's one less competitor."

"True."

Basically, that's the gist of what they were talking about.

That was unfortunate but they brought this to themselves.

Sexist jerk and stupid love affairs, they should all just freaking disappear.

"What are you guys up to today?" Ross spoke out of nowhere. Giving Haru and Solar a good fright.

"What the? Where did you come from?!" Solar was clutching her chest like she was about to have a heart attack.

"Want me to say something cheesy or something serious?" He grinned at her.

She gave him a blank look, "Duh, of course the latter. Don't want you flirting so early in the morning."

"It's actually afternoon." Haru butted in. I couldn't help but laugh at that.

Gosh, Haru just makes my day.

"Let me get one in." We all watched as Ross looked at Solar, "I just came back from running inside your heart."

Neither of them dared to back down as they stare at each other fiercely.

My nose started to twitch.

It lasted for a few more seconds before both of them burst out laughing.

"Nah! I can't do it!" Ross shook his head as he laughed along.

"That was just plain corny." Solar nodded as a sign of agreement.

I unconsciously scratched my nose from what just unfolded.

I looked away and didn't glance their way after that.

The day went on like nothing happened but the burden and the unknown sorrow I feel lingers unmistakably.