CHAPTER XXXVII: Dark Clouds of Mine

We all met up below the large Christmas tree after separating an hour ago.

It's a nice thing to still be able to see such a huge decoration even though Christmas is over.

It was soothing to see the lights flicker and give life in this white canvas.

I clutched the heart wrenching present in my pocket.

I surveyed the crowds of people and saw how the lights reflected in their eyes.

It was actually engaging to look at.

It makes the surrounding festive in a way.

"Should we head back now?" Ross said in a loud voice.

I flinched because he was right next to me.

Well, he didn't have a choice because the slightest whisper can be drowned in the conversations of numerous people in the same place as us.

"No way! It's obvious that we should take a picture first!" Solar demanded.

"Okay. Okay. Your blood pressure is rising. It's making you ugly." Ross ruffled her hair to which she swatted away.

"Excuse me! I'm never ugly!" She flipped her hair and grabbed hold of my hand before dragging me away.

I looked at where her skin was touching me and it somehow irked me.

But, I dismissed those thoughts.

I cannot let these emotions cloud my judgement and rationality.

I noticed that she stopped pulling me once we were at a clear spot in front of the tree.

Ross and Haru were walking towards us calmly which earned them a scolding from Solar because of how slow they were.

I didn't pay them any mind and just watched afar.

After she was done showering them with her irritation, she proceeded to ask a stranger to take pictures for us.

While we waited, the three of us placed ourselves in our chosen spots.

I felt Ross stand behind me which made me peeve a little.

Solar came rushing to us once she was done talking to the stranger.

When she reached my place, I pulled her and pushed her to my spot.

After that, I moved beside Haru at the other end of where I originally stood.

Ross and I accidentally made brief eye contact before I turned away from him and gazed at the camera.

A few shots later, we were finally done.

Solar gushed at the pictures while I waited for us to leave.

We reached the hotel after half an hour.

Haru returned to his home first to bid his last farewells to his family.

Carefully doing my final checking of my luggage, I noticed the earrings I bought earlier.

I debated whether or not to just leave it here but, before I could even decide, my door opened.

In came Ross who strode inside like it was his own room.

I unconsciously hid the accessory and stood up from my bed.

"It's rude to barge in someone else's room." I said and focused on fixing my things again.

"Well, it won't belong to you anymore after an hour so it doesn't count." He responded somewhere.

"Yeah, after an hour. Before that hour comes, it's still mine." I pointed out.

He sat on my bed and tilted his head.

"Why so grumpy, my lady?" He teased.

I ignored him and continued packing my things.

When I was finished, I closed it and set it aside with my other luggages.

"It feels surreal to go home." He plopped down on the bed.

"You can stay here if you want." I suggested.

"With you?" I looked back and saw him grinning mischievously.

"With yourself." After that I left him by himself in there.

I could hear him saying it was just a joke but I already knew that.

Everything for him was a joke.

Forty-five minutes later, Haru arrived in our room.

With everything neatly organized and gathered, we left the place we made little memories with.

It took us the same amount of time to arrive back from Japan.

We decided to eat first before going home.

Once I arrived at my house, I somewhat felt hesitant to go in.

It felt like reality was beginning to seep in once again.

I sighed and shook my head. It's not like I never dealt with it before.

The guards greeted me upon my entrance at the gate and the helpers helped me with my stuff.

I noticed how quiet it was inside and I could already guess the reason why.

Our head maid approached me and took my coat.

"Where's Forden, Manang?" I asked.

She paused what she was doing and answered, "He went away with your parents earlier. I don't know when they'll be back, anak. Should I inform him of your return?"

"No need. I'll be going up to my room now. I won't be eating anymore so don't let anyone disturb my sleep please." She nodded respectfully and stepped aside.

I walked past her but I could clearly see from my peripheral the sympathetic expression on her face.

I sighed and brushed my locks away.

Stepping into my room, I dropped my handbag on top of my vanity mirror and went into the bathroom.

I felt refreshed and clean after taking a nice warm bath that I almost fell asleep without drying my hair.

Finished blow-drying, I headed towards my bed and laid down instantly.

Once my head touched the pillow, I immediately began to doze off.

The next day, I woke up late in the afternoon.

I didn't want to leave my bed yet but I was getting hungry.

I freshened myself up and headed downstairs.

When I reached the dining area, there was not a single person present except for the awaiting helpers at the side.

Upon noticing my presence, they hurriedly pulled out a chair for me to sit on.

They prepared the utensils and plates I would use.

They also efficiently served the food the chef cooked up at my request.

I ate alone in silence and sometimes scrolled through my social media to ease my boredom.

Switching to different apps, I could already see plenty of notifications coming from each of them.

It seems Solar had already posted the photos we took within the week.

She even made an effort to tag me, as well as two men with us.

I knew she was popular on her own, but with the people in the pictures, Ross in particular, I couldn't dare comprehend the amount of attention this would gain.

A lot of people commented, asking where we were, about the people she spent her vacation with, and other irrelevant things.

I wasn't too inclined to read through those so I just spent my time swiping each individual picture.

One obvious fact that I saw was how Ross was always either behind me or beside me in the majority of those photos.

Only the last two, which we took yesterday, were the bunch wherein we were separated.

What shocked me more was that the final picture in the album consisted of him having his head turned in my direction rather than at the camera.

I faintly heard a small thump in my chest, followed by sequences of rapid beatings.

"I should fucking stop." I whispered.

I don't want to be hang up more than I am now.

I closed the app and finished my meal.

I left the dining room after thanking them and walked out to the veranda.

I sat on the hanging chair and placed my AirPods in my ear.

After I heard the first time of my randomly chosen song, I couldn't help but stare mindlessly at the growing flowers in our front yard.

The place was void of unnecessary noise which made it more relaxing.

At first I was just gazing at the colors in my sight, the next thing I know, I was swallowed by darkness.

I was once again suffocating.

Smoke blocked my nose, clouds of dust covered my eyes.

But I couldn't find where those came from.

The dark was clouding my vision, making me unable to see past anything but the dark.

There was certainly a fire somewhere, but I still felt cold.

I was even shivering.

I'm seriously confused.

And confusion is making me scared!

I kept turning and turning like crazy, hoping to find the exit but it just made it harder to breathe.

It feels like something was choking me.

Undeniably making me dizzier by the second.

I wanted to just give it all up and fall into a deep slumber…

…but that's when I heard it.

"You can't!"

"Stop…!"

"...help!"

The voice continued to echo.

Without knowing why, there was water streaming down the sides of my cheek.

It was neither warm nor cold.

But it stated how helpless I am.

I wanted to shout but I still felt something blocking my throat.

My mind is going crazy! So much that it hurts!

The voice rang louder and louder and just when it was about to cover me whole, I felt a shock run through my body.

"M…!"

"M…l…."

Before I could even determine who it was, the call changed.

"DIA!" And that's when I was pulled out from my dream.

I glanced around the place but no one was there.

That's when I accepted how pitifully horrified it is to be locked up over and over in that lonely dream.

Especially when there is no one there to drag you out aside from yourself.