Chapter 8

Angelo

Cleo had turned around to look at me. Strangely enough she didn't throw the can of soup at me or try pull self defense moves on me. She let me touch her , hold her and kiss her . I was in my socks and she was in the cutest set of sleep wear I had ever seen. Her eyes are my weakness amongst other things but all I am is thankful that she was home . I had come by earlier and she wasn't home . I called Nicolai who was with Jane in my house and I wondered she was with him instead of Cleo. I asked her if there was anyway to reach her . When she said no I pulled the waterworks, and she ended up giving me her key to Cleo's apartment.

All three of them have each others keys . My mind started racing and coming up with all sorts of images. The thought of Cleo being with Brendan made my blood boil. Although I'd deserve any hurt that came my way... Before I left I had asked Jane about Duncan and she shook her head saying; he wasn't good for her and that if I hurt her in any way she will get Nicolai to beat the living daylights out of me.

When she refused to let me in I took the key Jane gave me from my car and let myself in. I didn't care about the time I wanted to see her . Am I mad man ? Yes. Do I have strong feelings towards her . Yes its love and again no one can have her but me . Will she know about what I did in my past . Yes the whole story. Will she forgive me? If what I know I found in her is real ,she will. I pray she will.

" I didn't know what to say. I wanted to hold you but I couldn't."

Cleo tried to pry my hands of her waist but I wouldn't let her. She had an L shaped couch and I didn't want to talk; I wanted her on that couch with me but it wasn't going to happen and she'd think I only wanted to sleep with her and that's not true. I picked her up bridal style and sat her down on the couch . I sat opposite her and I could tell she was mad at me . First of all the second I put her down she sat down in lotus position and crossed her arms . She also pout her lips and squinted her eyes.

" Cleo I didn't want to give it away that I like you . A lot. I wanted you to work for me so that I can have you close. Giovanni loves you and I've fallen hard for you . In some way I wanted to protect you . I know you're smart , my father said; you're intelligent ,kind , and caring. He told my mother she shouldn't have attacked you the way she did . She apologised and asked if she could make it up to me in anyway . I snapped at her and told her she needed to apologise to you."

Cleo unfolded her hands and looked at me with worry.

" Angelo I don't want you getting into trouble with your parents, or cause tension between you and your mother. I admit that we have a connection; I want to explore it with you but not at the cost of your family."

I held Cleo's hand and kissed her palm . It felt damp which either meant she was having a panic attack or anxious.

" I've always been obedient and I've caused enough trouble in the past to last them a life time. I'm also no stranger to family drama."

" The hearts you've broken?"

"Five and I never really loved Nikki. I've k reached a stage in my life where I want stability and not fun. "

"You're Thirty five..."

I moved closer to her .

" You're twenty nine ."

"My life isn't exactly going according to script. It never has Angelo. Its been one thing after another. Every time I feel like I can finally breathe I have to catch my breath. I can't live like that. "

She bowed her head in shame and snatched her hand away .

"When has life ever gone according to script."

I lifted her chin and she looked away shyly . She stood up and headed for the kitchen. I followed her and watched her work her magic. She was warming milk in a pot and mixing a powder that smelt like vanilla . She looked at me calmly and talked

" when was the last time you've had to worry about anything , where your next meal was going to come from, or if your tuition will be paid , or if you're going to wake up the next morning and have a home."

" I grew up with everything I needed but that doesn't mean , I don't want to help and just to be clear I don't see you as a charity case ."

Cleo placed a medium white mug in front of me and walked to the lounge , she hadn't closed her shutter and she was looking out the window . it was dark and grey outside and there was nothing to look at.

"I wasn't thinking that . You haven't treated me unkindly or looked down at me . Your mother and your ex girlfriend did that . if it makes you feel any better I've already forgiven them ..."

I sat next to Cleo with mug in hand and watched her take a sip from hers .

"Am I also forgiven ."

"For what,you did nothing wrong, except for breaking into my apartment, disturb my peace, kiss me and now you're sitting next to me looking out the window."

I swept my arm around her shoulder and she leaned into me I took a sip of what she made me and a wave of warmth and calm hit me .

"For not coming to your defense. I didn't know what to do , how to react . I also respect my father enough not talk back at my mother. "

"Ruth ... She has a connection somehow to your family. Her reaction to me being with you last night , and you answering my phone brought out her rattle snake persona."

"She is Nina's sister. She thinks I'm being evil by keeping Gio away from Nina. You are quiet perceptive."

" Don't you want to call your mom and tell her she's forgiven and that I don't expect an apology from her. ? "

My breath hitched , promoting Cleo to look at me with sad eyes.

"She's not my biological mother. She still thinks Nina is the right woman for me . "

"What happened to your real mother?"

I took another sip of my drink which was almost finished and I put my mug on the side coffee table ."

" She's the reason we moved to South Africa... "

"What happened ?"

I don't know what it is about Cleo but she yanks out both my dark and light sides and makes them friends with each other. She isn't afraid of me .

" I went to a party both parents forbade me to go to with my cousins.

My father was out of town and I snuck out on that fateful evening. I got drunk and did stupid stuff . My mother had called earlier that evening to find out where I was and she lost it ."

"Like any patent would."

" aha ; but there was something I didn't bank on and I didn't tell anyone including my ex wife. My mother drove out to come get me and my two cousins , round about the same time I got behind the wheel and drove drunk . I put on my seatbelt and they didn't."

I started crying having flashbacks to that night. Cleo gently stroked my jaw with her hand and wiped away a tear ."

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. If its too much."

I shook my head .

" you're easy to talk to . The other night I felt okay telling you stuff because you got me . I swore to myself after that day that if our paths crossed again because you ran away from me . I'd do everything in my power to make you a part of my life . Yes its only been a couple of weeks, but it feels like I've known you for years. "

"I'm honored ."

" I've never told Nicolai too , so yes I know what it feels like to want to forget but you relive the experience at the worst of times."

"It will stay between us .Cross my heart. I pinkie swear."

I chuckled a bit and kissed her forehead.

" I was speeding down the road and I had jumped a red light , I wanted to get home before my dad made it back. I overtook a slow car and rammed into an on coming car. The impact was so bad that my cousins flew out the window and we're hit by two other cars killing them instantly. My airbag blew up cushioning the blow but I had a head injury and a broken arm. "

"What about the person you smashed into."

" I dragged myself out through the window . I could smell the petrol and my initial thought was to save the person smashed into. The car looked familiar and I thought nothing of it until I pulled the lady out and waited on the side of the road . My world caved in when I saw her necklace and a bracelet that my father made for me too. Which I gave away three years back today because I saved a girl who was beaten and bruised badly . I saw a car stop and someone threw her out ... Cleo she wasn't moving the crash I caused all those years ago killed my mother. I woke up three days later and wished I had died that night. "

"You're alive and you're here . It was an accident that you didn't mean to cause Blue. "

I stood up and she followed suit looking up at me she stood on her toes and gave me a hug...

" Get off me I need to go home. This was a bad idea."

I was crying my eyes out and I didn't want Cleo to see me weak. I thought opening up will help her open up and tell me about Duncan. She needed someone strong not a weak man. Cleo didn't let me go.

"You're running Massa. I won't let you go . You went through the trouble of finding me and now you're going."

"Let me go . I shouldn't have come here."

"No . I'm not letting you go."

My mind was racing nonstop and I remembered why I came I needed her as much as she needed me. Giving up I sat down on the couch and she got off me.

The thunderstorm was getting worse by the minuet and there was no way I could drive. I was in no state to get behind the wheel.

"I can't let you drive in this weather and you're in no state ."

" I know that. "

Cleo sat on my lap and kissed me gently and I kissed her back . As antsy as I was; I was overcome with calmness . She tasted so good . I was beginning to enjoy the kiss when she pulled back and looked at me.

"Blue are you okay now?"

I flipped Cleo over so that she was under me .

" I have weird ways of coping with trauma. You should have let me go. I don't deserve you."

"Let me be the judge of that ... By all means please share your coping mechanism , I will share mine if you share yours."

"What are you?"

"Human."

"No. You're not because what I'm feeling now is a foreign feeling. You should have let me leave..."

" For once Angelo lose control. I dare you."