204

Wishing for a healthy relationship is nearly impossible when nowadays, everyone has to deal with some kind of mental illness. The romanticization of mental health problems and toxic relationships in books is questionable, but so are perfect "rainbow and unicorn" relationships that set our expectations too high. Simple love can't 'fix' the problem, it can help, but it's not a cure for everything...

Because the leads migh

Bing Shi, as a four years old child, was well protected. After being picked up from a kindergarten by one of her parents, they would lock her up in the house, giving her an entertainment thing, a TV. Her parents didn't have enough money to rent a nanny. With her mother's help, she had to learn how to take care of herself.

She was taught how to heat food in the microwave, but due t

▓Xuan Mu's thoughts.▓

Bing Shi, as a four years old child, was well protected. After being picked up from a kindergarten by one of her parents, they would lock her up in the house, giving her an entertainment thing, a TV. Her parents didn't have enough money to rent a nanny. With her mother's help, she had to learn how to take care of herself.

She was taught how to heat food in the microwave, but due to her laziness and impatience, she always ate the cold food straight from the fridge.

When her parents returned from work, their daughter would already be deep asleep.

With the thought that her parents were hardworking and kind people, Bing Shi was very grateful. How could she not? They worked so hard for her good being. For her future.

She learned how to entertain herself. She didn't see anything wrong with being alone. She liked it, or more like; she got used to it so much that whenever she wasn't alone, she would get anxious. Bing Shi grew up with the mindset that her house was the safest place. So as soon as she started school, she would go home right after, feeling unsafe outside.

About her father...

He was a good man who loved his family. There were times when he would get drunk. Her mother always told her to treasure herself, never let anybody hurt her, which would make her look at her mother doubtfully.

The little girl didn't understand why her mother loved her father despite him hurting her mother all the time. Her mother put the blame on the alcohol and Bing Shi was always an observant girl.

░~ Alcohol is bad. Drunk people will hurt you.░

Her mother was a mature woman; who knew a lot about life. Her mother wanted to protect Bing Shi and didn't want her to fall in love fast, so occasionally, before she left for work, she would tell her daughter a few encouraging sentences, "You have to love yourself first. Always treasure yourself, don't let yourself get hurt."

Bing Shi listened well.

Then, her brother was born. Her parents had enough money to rent a nanny for both kids. Yet, Bing Shi couldn't get used to it — she wanted to play alone. Her parents could only approve of their daughter. Such a good girl, trying to save their money, they thought. They never noticed that something was wrong until it was too late.

Her parents sent her brother to the nanny's house until he reached the age when he could use the toilet alone. Bing Shi was spared of the things, called diapers. Her parents were still inexperienced and thought that her behavior was normal. She made them feel proud for being a child who could take care of hernnoyed Bing Shi held the showerhead and taught him how to clean himself. Her words were humiliating and harsh, resulting in her brother crying out loud.

When it was his mealtime, Bing Shi would always shout at him, "Why are you not eating!? You have to eat! You will be hungry!"

The mShe wasn't acting at all. It became a part of her personality, which was engraved inside her mind due to her experiences in her childhood. And it worked perfectly for her.

She enjoyed playing games, the only place she could have row to use a spoon; she never fed her brother. She didn't know parents were supposed to feed their child. (Her parents fed her, but it was a long time ago, she didnr how to use a spoon; she never fed her brother. She didn't know parents wereShe wasn't acting at all. It became a part of her personality, which was engraved inside her mind due to her experiences in her childhood. And it worked perfectly for her.

She enjoyed playing games, the only place she could have rworse after a while.░

When Bing Shi got home from school, shnnoyed Bing Shi held the showerhead and taught him how to clean himself. Her words were humiliating and harsh, resulting iShe wasn't acting at all. It became a part of her personality, which was engraved inside her mind due to her experiences in her childhood. And it worked perfectly for her.

She enjoyed playing games, the only place she could have r her brother crying out loud.

When it was his mealtime, Bing Shi would always shout at him, "Why are you not eating!? You have to eat! You will be hungry!"

The more she shouted, the more he cried. Her brother was used to his nanny feeding him; he didn't know how to eat by himself. Bing Shi had to teach her brother how to use a spoon; she never fed her brother. She didn't know parents were supposed to feed their child. (Her parents fed her, but it was a long time ago, she didn

░Why are they so messy?!░

She had to clean up after her brothers every time! She taught herself how to do housework, so her parents could always come back to a clean house. Organizing her living space calmed her down and she also liked to be praised. But those two brats were walking trash bins!

Her calmness and patience disappeared. One time she had enough and showed her brother away. Her brother fell on his buttock and started to bawl his lungs out. The shocked Bing Shi regretted her action. She immediately apologized, begging him not to tell her parents.

Due to her long persuasing, her brother didn't tell anybody until now, or more likely, he just forgot about it.

Having enough, Bing Shi learned how to trick them. Starting small, she would take a photo of a messy living room room and showed them the picture.ity, which was engraved inside her mind due to her experiences in her childhood. And it worked p all by yourself! They would be so proud to have suchShe wasn't acting at all. It became a part of her personality, which was engraved inside her mind due to her experiences in her childhood. And it worked perfectly for her.

She enjoyed playing games, the only place she could have r that she would burn herself. One of the better decisions her parents made. It would be bad if she suddenly tried to teach her brothers how to cook.

When she showed off the pictures to her parity, which was engraved inside her mind due to her experiences in her childhood. And it worked p Bing Shi, from her observation, didn't shout at people and didn't beat them, as it seemed like to make everything worse. It was like she put every person into the role of a kid, starting to treat every person like that. Smiling, laughing, praising, and teaching things she knew.

She wasn't acting at all. It became a part of her personality, which was engraved inside her mind due to her experiences in her childhood. And it worked perfectly for her.

She enjoyed playing games, the only place she could have real fun and feel safe at the same time. Nobody could hurt her. She started to socialize and made a bunch of friends. She felt really happy and wanted to spend most of her time here. Listening to her desires, to play more games, she studied less. But her grades were still the snnoyed Bing Shi held the showerhead and taught him how to clean himself. Her words were humiliating and harsh, resulting in her brother crying out loud.

When it was his mealtime, Bing Shi would always shout at him, "Why are you not eating!? You have to eat! You will be hungry!"

The more she shouted, the more he cried. Her brother was used to his nanny feeding him; he didn't know how to eat by himself. Bing Shi had to teach her brother how to use a spoon; she never fed her brother. She didn't know parents were supposed to feed their child. (Her parents fed her, but it was a long time ago, she didn hate this world.

░I hate you.░

░Stop hurting me.░

Bing Shi got traumatized for life.

░~See? That's what happens when you listen to your desires and your heart; bad things happen. You should have listened to me and study well so you could play games with a clear mind.░

░~You have to think before you act.░

░~ Violence hurts, avoid it.░

"This is how we taught you?! To be nnoyed Bing Shi held the showerhead and taught him how to clean himself. Her words were humiliating and harsh, resulting in her brother crying out loud.

When it was his mealtime, Bing Shi would always shout at him, "Why are you not eating!? You have to eat! You will be hungry!"

The more she shouted, the more he cried. Her brother was used to his nanny feeding him; he didn't know how to eat by himself. Bing Shi had to teach her brother how to use a spoon; she never fed her brother. She didn't know parents were supposed to feed their child. (Her parents fed her, but it was a long time ago, she didn

░Hey, why are you looking at me with that gaze?░

░When he hurt you, I would always come to your rescue.░

░But when it's your turn to protect me, you jusme. He was 13, she was 15.

Their third meeting was also in the same game. He was 15, and she was 17. They never parted from then on.

They started online dating when he was 16, and she was 18.

Their first real-life meeting was when he was 17, and she was 19.ts fed her, but it was a long time ago, she didn

░Hey, why are you looking at me with that gaze?░

░When he hurt you, I would always come to your rescue.░

░But when it's your turn to protect me, you just watch and crSince that day, Bing Shi never hugged anyone. Wait, she never gave a hug to anyone before, not even her parents. That's how much she treasured hend she 24.