Dark Thoughts

I'll be the first to say it, but I don't really like this chapter. Idk why, but something ticks me off.

Beta: Zam Zap​

Ch 5:

I now have detention starting tomorrow for a week, just for sleeping outside. Well, at least it's not today. That's something to be happy about.

Today is Halloween (or Samhain), and it's the day where people eat the most disgusting food out there, pumpkin. Pumpkin pie, pumpkin juice, pumpkin everything. It's almost like the wizarding world's food industry is non-existent.

"Where were you?" asked Theo, "You didn't come to the dorm last night."

"I took a nap."

"A nap?" Theo looked at me like I was crazy.

"Yeah, yeah, it gets even crazier. Next thing I know, I've been kidnapped, and I woke up in a room that was all white!" Theo was looking at me in horror.

"I woke up to see this old lady staring at me; she had this look in her eye, the look that your mom has right before she uses all three of your names." I got several gasps in return and even more looks of pity and fear. "I was then forced to drink this peach-colored poison. It was a truly vile thing." I widened my eyes as if reminiscing about a great trauma. Blaise snorted but covered it up as a sneeze.

"If you are quite done, Mr. Booth, I would like to inform you that three days will be added to your detention." Our resident bat, Snape, swooped in and delivered swift punishment. When he turned around, I gave him the most vicious scowl I could. I made sure to stare at his shoulder; I don't care if he gets suspicious. There is no way I am letting him read my mind.

I should also start practicing the mind arts. They will be incredibly useful. But on the other hand, I only have four years to become proficient at it. Shit, I only have four years to get strong. I suppose I could always go down the dark arts path, but it corrupts, and if used for a while, the corruption is known to make their users achieve a goal no matter the cost. Tom Riddle wanted immortality, so the corruption in his soul drove him to Horcruxes and made him insane.

I mean, honestly, what kind of sane person would split their soul?

'But if you made something like a wand your Horcrux, you could drive an incredible amount of power through it without destroying it, much more than you could ever with your own body. You could raise armies with necromancy. With necromancy, you could bring her back as well,' came a treacherous part of my mind, but I have to admit, it has a point.

If I want to destroy all of my opponents, I could always use the killing curse as it is one of the most effective ways to kill someone. They just die, nothing more, nothing less. If I was to use it, I could cast an animation charm, and then that would be raising the dead in a way. The only downsides with it are that to use it, you need to feel intense hatred at your target and the fact that murder causes the soul to be split.

Those can be easily countered though. It would be impractical to feel hatred towards all of your enemies in a war, so I imagine you can cast if you can use occlumency to create hatred at your target. And as long as you make your opponent attack you first, it isn't considered murder, but self-defense instead.

Would it really matter if I went insane as long as she was brought back? Yes, of course, it matters. Snap out of it, Jonathan. Who would take care of her if I went off the hook? This is concerning, to say the least. At first, it was just making me more childish, and now it's trying to make me go insane. All the more reason to practice occlumency; it could help me deal with this issue I'm having.

I felt someone shaking my shoulder. I turned and saw Theo looking at me with a concerned face, "Are you okay? You seemed agitated."

I gave him a disarming smile, or, at least what I thought was a disarming smile, "Yeah, I'm fine, just that something came up." I used that as an excuse to leave for the first class of the day, defense against the dark arts.

What if I were to become Master of Death? The books and movies didn't say anything about it actually giving anything, but the individual items themselves were priceless. A cloak that let one hide from death, a wand said to perform miraculous feats of strength, and finally, the most important to me, a stone that allowed one to communicate with the dead. After a moment's hesitation, I decided I must gather all of the items. I could take the ring whenever I want, just go over to Little Hangleton. The cloak, well, I just have to sneak into the Gryffindor common room, but the wand will be the hardest to get. Dumbledore gets disarmed in 6th year, the final battle royale is happening in 5th year, so unless I disarm Dumbledore, which is unlikely, I will just have to get the wand after the tasks.

I could also use the Horcrux in the ring for my advantage. If I could contain it, I could have a battery with a theoretically infinite amount of magic. Same with Ravenclaws Tiara, I could use it to become more intelligent, just feed it to a dementor, and boom, no Horcrux. That was one reason I decided not to look for it now. I do not want to get possessed. So I will save it for the third year when the dementors can eat the fraction of the soul, that is, of course, if the butterfly effect makes it so that Sirius doesn't escape.

Defense Against the Dark Arts was truly a joke. In the literal sense. A dark lord who has a hatred of anything non-pureblood, teaches non-purebloods how to cast their first spells.

Talking about Voldemort, I think that he used the pureblood agenda as a way to gather power, but eventually, he started believing it himself. I wonder how he got to that point? Was it his time in Slytherin? Did he give so many speeches about it that he eventually began believing it himself? Or was it something more sinister, like the corruption, for example? That is something to worry about later.

Well, I suppose I will continue practicing the spells I choose to master. Also, it's not like I can go to the library and get a Dark Arts for dummies book. To do so, I imagine I would need to go to Knoturne alley and buy it. The only problem is, I'm broke! I suppose I could cast the confundus charm on some thugs and take their money.

So, I will master the spells I know, and then I will worry about expanding my arsenal. So far, I have a good grasp on enlarging and shrinking with basic abilities with the switching charm. Now I have to continue practicing these charms while learning the others. I was forced back into reality by Theo jamming his elbow into my ribs. I turned to glare at him, only for him to point to the front of the classroom. Looking forward, I noticed professor Mcgonagle staring at me. I raised an eyebrow.

"Mr. Booth, could you answer the question?" Professor Mcgonagle interrupted my thoughts. I was about to ask which question when I noticed it written on the blackboard. Why is it easier to transfigure two objects with a similar size and/or mass?

"Well, professor," I start with a grunt, "the reason why it is harder to transfigure something that has big differences in mass is because of Ohod's Law of Size Transfiguration; the closer two objects are in mass, the easier they will be to transfigure," I finish in a monotone, barely acknowledging the 5 points given to us.

I felt someone stare at me. "Hey, Johnny, you okay?" Theo nudged me, again, with his elbow looking concerned.

As soon as he called me Johnny, I twist my head to him, all previous signs of fatigue and disinterest disappeared, "What did you call me?" I snap at a low hiss, causing him to raise his hands in the surrender sign.

"I- uh, should I not call you–" whatever he was about to say was cut out by a glare.

"Call me Jonathan, nothing else," I say, practically daring him to call me anything else.

"O-okay, man. Anyways, I was just wondering if you are okay. You've been acting off for the entire day. Did something happen?"

"No, I am fine," I gave him a short and crisp response. I know that saying fine is the infamous response whenever someone is not fine, but I really want him to shut up right now. My head is throbbing.

"Mr. Booth, Mr. Nott, would you like to share with the class what you find so fascinating?" I closed my eyes and rub my temples; I can feel my headache growing.

"No, professor, Jonathan was just telling me how he has a slight headache," Theo responded after a moment of hesitation, probably noticing me rubbing my temples.

Mcgonagles face became softer, "Would you like to go to the hospital wing?" she asked.

"Yes, I will bring him there, just to make sure he arrives safely," Theo said as he shot her a disarming grin.

"Come on, Jonathan, let's go to Madam Pomfrey," he said, receiving a groan in return. I still remember this morning and how I woke up.

"Now now, Jonathan, I'm sure the vile witch won't kidnap you again or force-feed you fake peach juice," called Blaise as he followed us out. I once again groaned in response to both him and the laughter from inside the classroom. Fuck you, Blaise. I am tempted to say that last part out loud, but Mcgonagle would assign me more detention. I have enough as it is.

After a short walk, I once again find myself in the hospital wing.

"Ah, Jonathan! What are you doing here? I am pretty sure I cleared you this morning?" she said in a sweet voice and raised her eyebrow.

"Madam Pomfrey, Jonathan has had a headache for the last hour or so," Theo answered.

"Hmm, I thought I cleared him this morning? Did I miss something?" she mumbled to herself, "Well, thank you for bringing him to me. Rest assured that I will take care of him."

She signaled me to the bed that I woke up in this morning, "Now be a good boy and wait here."

She went near the entrance and went into her office to grab something, presumably potions, I imagine. She came back carrying three potions, one of them was the same not-peach one that I had this morning, another was a light metallic blue, and the last is dark green.

"Well, what are you doing? Get back to class," she ordered Theo and Blaise after seeing that they were still here. They quickly scrambled out, leaving me along with Madam Pomfrey.

"Honestly, teenage boys. Always looking for excuses to skip class," she noticed me looking at her, "And if I find you skipping class, that will be detention." Ugh, she didn't have to remind me of detention tomorrow.

"Now drink this," she said while handing me the same peach-colored potion from this morning. With a grimace, I closed my eyes and chugged it. It is as horrible as I remember it being.

She waited for the potion's effects to occur; if I were sick, I would throw up. To my happiness, nothing happened. I feel like I speak for most people, if not all of them when I say that I hate throwing up. From the hurls that your stomach performs, to the after taste, it is all horrible.

After waiting for a couple more minutes, she handed me the dark green potion. At my quizzical look, she sighed and explained, "The potion you just drank is called the Minor Health-Check, and it is, as its name suggests, minor. The Medium Health-Check isn't. It checks for more diseases, and it is better at flushing out the cause behind whatever you have. However, the only problem with it is that it takes about an hour to check your system."

While I waited for the check to finish, I wondered about how I am going to win the one-on-one tournament. I can't go and use guerilla tactics against my opponents because, well, it's going to be one on one. I suppose I will look into my classes for any inspiration. I can't use astrology or herbology. I suppose I could throw potions at my opponent. But my best hopes lie in transfiguration, charms, or DADA (defense against the dark arts). Although considering the teachers we are going to have in the next couple of years, I can cross that one off as well.

Out of all my classes, I view transfiguration as the most useful for someone in my situation, followed by a close second, charms. I mean, with enough practice, you could transfigure something into an eldritch abomination, not sure if it would do anything, but hey, eldritch abominations! Who doesn't want one? The only problem is that anyone can reverse most transfigurations with a simple finite.

I could also continue using basic charms to beat my opponent, like shrinking myself, switching their heart for a stone, summoning their organs, etc.

Could I transfigure people to something easy to break, like a stick, then break said stick? Would the person die, or would something else happen? That is another thing I will need to ask Mcgonagall.

Or, I could become an animagus and hide until everyone had already murdered themselves and go in for the kill when the last person is injured. Call it cowardly, but my opponents will have many years of experience and power under their belt. Four years just isn't enough to get good enough to go into combat with others. That's not to say I won't try to become strong; I will trust me.

What if I transfigured a brick (or any other object heavy enough) into a hawk (or any other bird), then linked it to a transfigured glass ball using the protean charm. Then when it spotted somebody, it would dive towards the person, I would undo the transfiguration in the glass ball, which would undo the hawk's transfiguration, and a brick would fly into their heads at a high speed.

Splat goes the person! And one less opponent to worry about, now imagine if I had an army of those, one hawk for each competitor.

I could also transfigure nearby objects into fog, shrink myself, and go in for the kill. There are so many easy ways to kill someone with basic charms; levitate someone high enough, and they die when they hit the ground, switch their brain with a rock, summon their organs—so many ways to do it.

I am beginning to find myself concerned with my state of mind. I have been here for about two months, and look at me now, making plans on the best way to kill someone. What will happen in a year? How about five?

What's the point of winning if I'll be insane by the time of the tournament? I suppose all I can do is delay it, and then hopefully I can get Apollo to heal me. I don't want to say this, as the being I am about to curse is a goddess, but oh well. Fuck you, Hestia. I close my eyes and wait to be smited, I wait for another five minutes, but once again, nothing happens.

"I think you have the most dramatic response to drinking potions I've ever witnessed, maybe you should get into acting?" came the voice of Madam Pomfrey, "I mean honestly, look at you, it's been an hour, and you're shivering, and your eyes are still closed."

It's already been an hour? Man, time passes by fast.

"Anyways, seeing as you haven't thrown up, you need to drink this last potion," she says, handing me the metallic light blue potion.

Seeing another potion made my stomach churn and rumble, but I forced myself to drink it.

"Now, as this potion is more efficient, you will only need to wait for 30 minutes before we know for sure that you are healthy."

I closed my eyes, trying to do some of my daily meditation, but I only ended up feeling sleepy. I would take a quick power nap, but the taste in my mouth kept me away from Morpheus.

After staring at the lake for 30 minutes, Madam Pomfrey finally came back.

"Hmm? You still haven't thrown up? Maybe it was nothing, but I will keep you here for the rest of the day," at her words, panic settled into my body. Would I miss the ritual?

"Is that necessary? I mean, you gave me that metallic blue potion, and I didn't throw up! So doesn't that mean that there isn't anything wrong with me?"

"Well, what if it's something that's never been seen before? What if the potion just missed it?" she rebutted my attempts at having me be let go.

"Is it possible for the problem to be something mental? Maybe a tumor? Possession?" I know that the cause behind my headaches most likely originates from the same place as my personality issues. I am trying to get her to think outside of the box.

"Stop being dramatic. If it were a tumor, then the health checks would have picked it up. And this is a school, where, who, and why would you get possessed?" her face softened a bit, and her eyes looked down. "Unfortunately, if it were mental, then there is nothing we can do. The magical world doesn't care as much as it should for mental problems and diseases."

That made sense. Ginny experienced something traumatic, but nobody took her to a therapist or anything. Same with Lockheart, after losing his memories, nobody did anything. They just stuck him in a mental ward and did nothing to help him. I imagine countless people are sick but aren't getting cured.

What if I transfigured my soul and/or brain back to what it was before I got transmigrated? That would require knowing what my soul looked like before. But maybe this dimension's brains are like the ones in my dimension; then I can transfigure it back to what it was. But then again, considering the general stupidity of the wizarding world, maybe not.