February 10th

The morning of our date. I actually got up early on purpose, so I could have time before Dylan came to pick me up. I scrambled around my room looking for that beige turtle-neck sweater dress that I specifically brought for a day like this. "Ah! Found it!"

"Is everything alright in there, sweety?"

Mom called out to me from the kitchen downstairs. She was still cleaning up from Saturday's get-together with a few of our neighbors. She and her other house moms got drunk off their ass and ended up making a huge mess in the dining room and left a lot of dishes for mom the next morning.

"Yeah, everything is fine!" I continued to get dressed. I threw on the beige sweater dress, added a long gold necklace, and some cute brown lace-up boots. Comfortable and cute. I sat down at my vanity to do my hair and makeup. I stared at myself for a good minute before I decided exactly what I wanted to do. I decided to curl my hair and add a braided crown and the hairpin Dylan got me for my birthday last year. I clipped the cherry hairpin onto the side of my braided crown. It was cute. It added color to the basic outfit. Now for makeup. I decided to go simply since my face wasn't as broken out as usual. Thank you, God! Finally, a cherry lip gloss and done! I started dancing around in the body mirror hanging on the back of my door. Before I knew it, Dylan was honking his horn.

"Fawn! Dylan is here!" Mom called to me as if I didn't hear his ridiculous horn from upstairs.

"Thanks, mom! I'm heading out now!" Before I could get a response, I was out the door. Dylan was wearing his vintage dark green jacket, some denim jeans, his favorite beige sweatshirt underneath his jacket, and finally the classic off-white tennis shoes.

"Do you own any other shoes besides those tennis shoes?" I said as I laughed my way over to him.

"Ha. Ha. I happen to like these shoes a lot thank you and we are kind of matching. Couple Goals!" He always mocked those idiotic couples who bought matching clothes, so him saying that is kind of ironic since we are wearing similar colors today. He walked me over to the passenger side of the Jeep and opened the door.

"Milady." He gestured into the vehicle with his hand offered it out to me for help.

"Why thank you, good Sir." I grabbed his frostbitten hand and climbed into the jeep.

The roads were slick from being frozen for so long. It didn't help that it has been raining as well. The heat from the Jeep was rather comforting like a weighted blanket during a thunderstorm or on a lonely night someone holding you tight. Dylan turned up the radio and began singing in the most ridiculous way. Sort of like he was mocking the breathy way they sang. I genuinely smiled at him. It has been a while since I've done that. I just couldn't help but love this man. Loving him is all that goes through my head ever since I was told I had to move. He reached over and grabbed my thigh.

"Wow, you're hot!" I don't know if he was being sarcastic or not because he knows the heat was on and I was wearing a thick sweater dress or he was flirting.

"Thanks! I love it when you compliment me. You're pretty hot too." I winked at him when he looked over to study my face. His eyes flickered to the humor. Did you fall in love with me all over, Dylan? I wish I would have said that. I wonder what he would have responded. The conversation ended on that. We pulled into a parking spot at the front of the theater. We both hopped out of the Jeep and rushed towards the warmth of the movie theater. The smell of old brick walls and melted butter filled the air. Walking up to the ticket booth, Dylan's hand reached over and locked with mine.

"What will you be seeing today?" The ticket usher was tall but slender. He looked slightly sick-looking. Maybe from the bags underneath his eyes or his greenish complexion. Dylan looked down at me for confirmation. I know exactly what he is about to say, so I gave him the look of 'if you ask me I swear to God, Dylan, I will hurt you.

"What do you want to watch, Fawn?" I know he did not just ignore all my stop signs I gave him. He knows I hate being put on the spot and now people are waiting behind us.

"Umm… maybe… uh…" Dylan tried to keep his laugh to himself, but I could hear him. My cheeks flushed red and my eyes quickly skimmed the signs hanging in the lobby. What is the easiest thing to see?

"Arctic Pals." The ticket usher looked like he was about to laugh, but Dylan peering over me kept him quiet.

"Two tickets, please!" Dylan's voice sounded satisfied with his little gimmick as he leaned closer to my shoulders to try and make up for what he just did to me. I just kept my eyes on the deep red carpet leading up to the concession stand. Dylan let me stay behind while he went and bought the popcorn and drinks since I entertained him at the ticket booth. I stood admiring the theater one last time before going into a movie meant for kids twelve and under. The chandelier was beautifully hung in the center of it all. I closed my eyes for a second to take in all the smells of the popcorn and the heater. This had to be a very vintage movie theater because the walls were authentic red brick and the roof was golden tin with a floral design. Dylan's strong arms wrapped around me once more.

"What are you looking at?" The popcorn in one hand and drink in the other really amazed me on how he managed not to spill it when he wrapped around me like that.

"I was just admiring the theater. It has a very nice calming feeling about it. Plus the detailing is amazing in the golden tin ceiling!" He gazed at me starstruck. I smiled at him.

"What?" I played it off with a laugh since his staring started to make me nervous.

"I just that that about you."

"Love what about me?" This is the first time he has ever looked at me like this. I began getting anxious and started playing with my hair.

"You take time to admire the little things and I love that about you." His smile was so captivating like I was being sucked into a black hole. I felt my face turn beet red. He laughed and kissed the tip of my nose. That made my face even redder.

"Now let's go see Arctic Pals!" He leads me toward the door and I didn't know if I was dreading this movie or shocked at how flirty he is with me today.

The movie was interesting. I mean it was your typical children's flick, the underdog wants to be like the big dogs, but they say he can't. He gets sad then confident again and achieves what he wanted to do in the beginning. There you have it, folks, a happy ending. Dylan kind of dozed off in the middle of it, but I let him sleep since he has been practicing hard for the Final game this Thursday. I know he wants to turn it into a profession and I hope he can achieve it one day. What is that saying again? If you do something 10,000 times you become a master? Well, I believe he is getting pretty close. When I see him, he is either practicing for a game or training his body to have more stamina. Not to mention when I ask him about practice his face will light up like a Christmas tree and will go on and on about who did what and how many goals he made or him beating his record of goals scored. I really wish I had something I was just as passionate about.

"Did you enjoy the movie? I'm sorry I kind of dozed off in the middle. I didn't mean to, I swear!" His voice came out more raspy than usual. Maybe because he just woke up, but it honestly sounded like he was hurt he missed the kid's flick.

"You don't have to apologize" I laughed, "I know you're tired and you deserve all the sleep you can get and it isn't like you missed the best film of all time."

We laughed it off together, "I guess you're right." His arm slid behind my back and placed his hand on my waist. He pulled me close to his side as if he was telling me not to go. However, I don't have a choice in the matter this time.

"Do you wanna go to a cafe? Get a small snack or something to drink before practice?" I tried to start up some type of conversation, so it could get his, no, both of our minds off of the future break up.

"Yeah, sure. There should be one a few blocks down from here. We can have some hot cocoa!" His voice sounded more cheerful after he mentioned hot cocoa. We opened the glass doors of the movie theater and suddenly the wind struck me with an icy blast. The needles of the wind made me realize so much. Why am I doing this? What am I accomplishing by dragging this out with him? I felt my face become pale as Dylan pulled me along the ice-covered sidewalk. "It hurts."

"What did you say? Do you not feel good?" Dylan's hand caressed my cheek while the other rested on my forehead. What expression was I making? Dylan's eyes looked so concerned and worried about me. What am I doing? Ah. Why does he look so shocked? My face feels warm, no, now cold?

"Fawn! What's wrong? Why are you crying?!" Dylan's eyebrows furrowed. His flushed cheeks and glazed-over eyes made me want to cry even more. My mind is blank. I can't hear his voice anymore. Ahh… I want this to be over with. I don't want to feel like this anymore.

I grabbed both of his hands off of my face and placed them back by his sides. My eyes stayed locked onto the cold ground and before I knew it, I made up my mind."Hey Dylan, let's end this here."

Silence fell over us. No one said anything, not even the wind. I couldn't bring myself to look at him because I already knew what face he was making and I couldn't bear the pain anymore.

"What are you saying? After everything we have been through, you are just going to stand there and throw all of it away because you are moving?" His voice began to shake.

"Dylan, I am not arguing with you. That is my decision and it's final. It is better this way. You can focus on your future career and not have to worry about a girl you will probably never see again." Shit. I need to hurry up before I start breaking down even more. "You don't have to worry about taking me home; I'll call a taxi."

"This is bullshit! Why do you get to tell me how I should live my life?! I want to be with you! I don't care if you are moving across town or across the world! You are mine and I have no intention of letting you go, Fawn!"

His frozen hand wrapped around my wrist and began pulling me towards the Jeep. My body wouldn't move to fight him off. The wall that I built to keep him out is crumbling and fast. He let go of my wrist and opened the Jeep door. "Get in."

"I'm not going-"

"Get in the Jeep, Fawn!"

I felt my whole body quiver. I've never heard him sound so mad. What do I do? His gaze is piercing my body. I don't want to go with him, but my feet are moving on their own. I climbed into the Jeep and his long arms stretched around my waist and clicked the seatbelt into place. My whole body is shivering. Is it because I'm cold or scared, right now? The ride back to my house was silent. I refused to look away from my purse resting in my lap. I couldn't look Dylan in the face. The heat blasting from the vents made my body warm, but my emotions were still frozen solid. The gear shifted into park. I finally looked up to see my house in front of us. I reached to unbuckle myself, but his large hand covered mine. I froze on the spot. What should I do?

He sighed, "Please don't make that expression. I didn't mean to scare you, but you wouldn't listen to reason." His grip tightened. "Fawn, please take back what you said."

I stayed silent. I didn't know what to say. I love him so much, but staying with me will only become toxic for both of us. Why can't he understand this? His hand slowly released mine and a small thud echoed in the Jeep. I finally looked up to see him resting his head on the steering wheel with his hands coving his face.

"If there is any chance you want to stay with me, please come to my game on the 14th. I will be waiting for you."

I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out of the jeep. I refused to look back because I feel like I would break down again. As I opened the door to my house I heard the Jeep start up again and leave the driveway. I fell to my knees in front of the entryway and broke down crying. My mom heard me from the living room and came running around the corner.

"Sweety? What's wrong? Are you okay?" She kneeled to the floor and comforted me in her chest. Her gentle strokes on the back of my head made me feel small and helpless. I clung my body to hers and cried for hours. She did not move or ask me any more questions. She just sat there in silence.