Chapter 34.1: Some and Parts of Him and Us

She thinks about what she will say to her as the sound of wheels approach the door.

What can be done to make her feel better? . . . or at least to ease the anxiety and fear.

She reaches the door and realizes she can't knock on it or ring the bell. So, instead, she moves the chair back and forth, hitting the door with it twice.

"Charlotte, are you up?" she calls.

She backs off the door a little and waits.

She waits.

And waits.

And waits some more.

Looking down at her paralyzed legs, she hears a creaking sound, and her eyes shift up, looking at Charlotte who can't make eye contact with Adora and is looking to the side.

The door fully opens, and she steps to the side, gesturing with her hand, "Come in,"

Adora pushes forward, looking into the lightless room. The only source of light is from the outside, Charlotte had kept all the lights in the room off.

"Keep the door open, please," requests Adora as she enters.

Charlotte obliges, stepping away from the door and leaving it open. There is another source of light shining into the room now, the open door.

Adora notices a small, uncovered vial placed on the table next to the bed as she comes to a halt in front of the bed.

The silence is so still that it's only cut by the sound of Charlotte's footsteps on the wooden floor.

She then gets up on her bed and sits cross-legged in front of Adora.

"So, how have you been holding up?" asks Adora.

". . . I am fine, I think . . ." responds Charlotte.

"Great! By the way, what is in that vial?" asks Adora, her voice sending shivers down Charlotte's spine.

She lifts her legs up and hugs them, burying her face in.

. . .

"Experience enhancement pills . . ." mumbles Charlotte.

Adora stares at her.

. . . she is one of the addict users. The first floor in the Castle is huge and has a lot of fun and entertaining things to do. But soon, we ride and play everything. We can always ride and play it again, but when you live forever, such things can entertain you only for so long.

She shifts her eyes and looks at the vial.

That's why most of us try our best to preoccupy ourselves with other things to do rather than fun and games. And we try to ration the portions of fun and games as much as we can.

. . .

She looks back at Charlotte.

Charlotte looks up and sees the sitting figure with the light coming from the door behind it.

However, those of us who become addicted to such things and spend every waking second of their existence consuming them, burn through them as fast as one can. And even with the replay-able things, the addiction continues, and the person starts to feel bored with those games, and it takes a long time for anything new to come out.

And what's new is few, so these people start losing the sense of fun and games, they have over-exhausted everything and their body and soul aches for more. So, these artificial pills were made to trick and manipulate the body, it enhances all the pleasurable and fun experience by folds for people who suffer burnout from not just fun and games, but other things they got addicted to.

Take those pills to reach the highs they once had, and the addiction loop continues once again . . .

"Did you take any?" asks Adora in a tone that's soft but still demands a response.

"I was about to . . . but I didn't. Your knock stopped me . . . I am still clean," says Charlotte averting her gaze in embarrassment.

"How long have you been clean for?" asks Adora, a happy and inviting smile on her face which hooks Charlotte's eyes back to her.

"A few years, I think . . ." she murmurs, rubbing her feet and fingers together.

"That's great!" exclaims Adora, smiling again.

Charlotte lifts her head slowly, "Adora . . . I am sorry if I hurt you at all . . . I ─ It was just too much . . ."

"I mean, I am interfering in a mission not just led by pilots, but one of them is Kayn's wife! He is probably in on whatever is happening right now too. It's just . . . I wonder how it would have gone if I got to the Rope instead of running back . . . if only I had resisted. Just a little more and I wouldn't have caused more trouble and been in this mess . . ."

"And─ I don't think I am strong enough, Adora. I am not as trained nor used to this as you or pilots are. This all feels out of my league, each time I think I have seen the peak, something more maddening pops up," she says, placing her hands on her head.

Adora looks at Charlotte, her face full of compassion and sympathy, "You are doing great at holding up so far, Charlotte. I promise to try my best to keep you and Neo safe until we get you out of here or until this whole ordeal is over. But most of all, don't focus on the past,"

"What's happened has happened. And nothing can be done about it now, we just make our choices as we sit as passengers on this train that only goes forward nonstop, if you think that you took a wrong turn, keep on searching for the way back to the course," she continues.

"You don't have to be the pilots or me. The way you acted back there with the wolves, and I saw how you handle stressful situations, from when Neo fell to everything else, I saw potential in you! So, during the rest of the time, just do what I do!"

"And what's that?"

"Put your faith in that Charlotte who went through those situations and got you through them to help you get through the rest. All you have to do is try your best to help her prepare," says Adora, smiling.

"I put faith in my future Adora as well. Just like I did in the past . . . you know . . . I wasn't supposed to be here myself, and I miss someone a lot back at the Rope. And I'll probably get scolded when we get back to the Rope. But I have faith in what the past me felt, that I have to be on this mission,"

Her eyes shift down to the necklace she's wearing.

"Here, grab the necklace and open it. I want to show you something," she says, her eyes teary.