Not now or Ever

Laila was about to put the last nail in Jake's proverbial coffin, even though Jake was clearly not listening to rhyme or reason and was instead getting ready to refute her words. Laila could see this too and she let out another sigh as she felt her energy being drained and her patience growing thin. She reminded herself that he was not the Jake she had married and therefore did not know that she did in fact knew how a future with him would turn out and tried to calm herself down. With as much patience as she could muster up, Laila decided to try one more time to let Jake see the reality of the situation, hoping he would finally give up.

"Look, Jake, I really don't want to go down this road again with you. I don't know how I can make you see that. You are simply incapable of change, at least when it comes to a relationship between you and me. No matter what you try to tell me or yourself, you cannot change that fact. The sooner you realize that, the better for everyone involved. I might not care for you very much after after all that has happened between us and how things ended but that does not mean I want you to continue wasting your time waiting for me or that I will tolerate much more of this nonsense."

As she lifted the hammer up, to take her final swing on the nail that had been closing the lid on what she and Jake once were, she looked Jake dead in the eyes and said in her calmest voice, "Maybe some day you will find the girl that will make you change your ways. Meet the girl that will make you stay faithful to her through the highs and lows of life. Or maybe it will be the girl that will make you experience what it is like when the shoe is on the other foot. BUT, and I am telling you this not out of spite or a place of anger, believe me, I am NOT that girl. In your life I might be the one who got away, but to me you are the dodged bullet in my life. So, don't ever think that there is even the slightest chance of us getting back together, because there isn't. Even if you wait for me till your last breath, even if you had held on back then and even if there was no Noah in the picture, I would not and I will not, not now or ever, get back together with you."

Despite trying to keep her calm during the last bits, Laila was out of breath after saying that last sentence. She knew that her getting angry or winding herself up too much was bad for the baby and wouldn't improve the situation, so she did her best to not let Jake get to her but he knew just how to push her buttons. All of her venting so fiercely and talking so much, on top of Jake's stubbornness, or better yet because of Jake's stubbornness, had gotten her tired. She felt a type of exhaustion she hadn't experienced in a long time and only remembered from her discussions with Jake in the past. Where she felt like she couldn't win and Jake kept pushing his wishes and truth on her. Fortunately now she had Noah by her side and he let her know he was there by rubbing her arm with his thumb.

Jake stared at Laila, Noah and Maria like a deer staring in headlights. He was trying to think of something to say in return. To refute her words in any way he knew how but the words wouldn't come to him. With his own words failing him, Laila's words were starting to sink in. Some of her words repeating more loudly in his head than others. As he stared at them, he was murmuring words that showed the turmoil that was going on in his head. She considered him a dodged bullet? Had he really been that bad of a boyfriend to her back in the day? Had she not been happy with him?

But just when it seemed like Jake was doing some self inspection and was actually hearing what another person was saying, finding the cause of the problem in himself instead of anything and everything else, he went right back to what he knew. Total denial. He pushed away the thoughts he had about him being anything less than a perfect boyfriend to Laila and began to dismiss her words as Laila trying to do the right thing by Noah as she was married and was expecting his child. That she might have felt pressured to say those words and do what she had done because of the bad influence of Maria, who had never liked him to begin with. After that he went right back to blaming Noah and telling himself that after years of his indoctrination Laila hadn't stood a chance. That only if she came back to him, that is when she would be able to see the truth, that she did in fact still love him. Because who could really reject someone as wonderful as him without any outside influence?