Love gone in a blast

That night when we made love I didn't think I would see mira for the last time.  But I woke up late she was in there I must've assumed she was at work at the time until I turn on the TV and saw the news and saw the Toronto airport nearly demolish by A bomb blast. This made my heart sink to the point where I Thought that Mira was in danger or was dead.  I was almost certain that she was in that blast and she was dead. They rang off the names of the victims in the mirror came up as one of the victims. I was so distraught I didn't know what to do with my self and what to do with my emotions. She was so good to me and so beautiful I didn't know what to do without her.

That first time I tasted her nectar what is the last time I would ever tasted and I would remember it or try to remember what it tasted like but I cannot remember right now as I was full of grief and ripped apart. This was the woman I love you too I would've married I would've spent the rest of my life with.   What that was taken away from me it was said that it was a terrorist attack that happened at the airport and I was just traumatized at the thought of seeing Mira being blown apart.   I have no other choice but to find another place to live and someone else still off but I was gonna be hard for me to do because this was new to me. I should've been happy to be out of the forest relationship and a force love.  But I actually loved her. And I couldn't imagine being without her. I didn't want to go back to the streets or go back to drugs so I ended up having to go to school for whatever I was interested at the time and I wasn't really interested in anything but art so I ended up going in the arts school so I can be a functioning member of society.  And I had to get an apartment on my own I got rid of any pictures I had of miracles I thought if I saw her smile and her beautiful eyes that I would be Rush more than the airport itself at least the airport can be replaced but the people hundred people including Mira cannot be replaced.

Whenever I want to do a painting I did a painting of her with her smiling eyes and your beautiful smile and the way she should've been portrayed I did other drawings and paintings as well but my main focus was Mira because I missed her so.  Make sure my paintings of her were very tasteful yet lovingly for trade but also honouring the woman that she was. I fell out for us like her concubine where I ended up falling in love with her in the end I guess that love grows but then it can be taken away very easily. I was so shocked when I saw the pictures I drew a Mira or painted a Mira that she was no longer with me that she was just a piece of artwork now just a face on a canvas or a beautiful figure on a canvas but never the real thing anymore it hurt me so much. That I had to get out of the school.

I want is for us to work in a café in downtown Toronto away from the airport, And eventually moving to Ottawa where I belong now and I avoid airports as much as possible because I'm afraid of the emotions it will bubble up. I never met anyone else ever again like mirror  never again anyone else period. 

I tried dating sites and everything else but no one match me as much as Mira matched me.  We were allowed to match and they we were soulmates and we were supposed to be together forever and we weren't I was bound to be in Salomon see you for the rest of my life I could only see pictures of her that I drew or painted and I could only see her in my dreams and I was able to hear her voice trying to comfort me from trying to do something stupid. I ended up having to move to the three different cities after selling my artwork because I couldn't bear to see her face anymore. I still ended up seeing her face in my dreams.  That was enough to drive near madness and I had to do some thing anything to stop the madness so I want to grief counseling. It was hard but I was able to talk it out within about five years I was able to let go but not completely. 

What I would give to feel her soft body again and to taste her nectar I cannot remember what her nectar tasted like if it was sweet or salty but I would I would get out of feel her love again.

~fin~