Chapter Ten- Rabbit Hole

Never, in my now 17 years of life, would I have ever thought this would happen to me. Not that I'm special as compared to other people or anything but like I mean come on.

Is the universe not yet satisfied that it now decides to send her my way, her out of all people. Just when I thought I was getting better, the universe decides to grab me by my ankles and drag me back down the rabbit hole.

Maybe I still have time to make a run for it, she is moving at an awfully slow pace and she will most probably reach us when I have my fifth grandchild.

I feel Jordon shift close behind me as if sensing my panic.

Honestly if this were a movie tiny little Jasmine's will be running around in my brain, banging their heads on tables and screaming for help. That's what the sight of her does to me.

It's been quite a few years, 8 years to be exact, since I last saw her but instead of the warm fuzzy feeling of comfort I used to get at the sight of her I now feel the complete opposite. How do I recognize her after all these years you ask, well those eyes, those damn eyes full of life. That and she literally doesn't age at all. Her skin is flawless, just like everything else about her.

When she finally walks over to us after what seems like ages, she pecks Karan on the cheek and turns to give the rest of us her toothpaste advertisement smile. I shield my eyes from the excess amount of light and I sense the boys grunting and doing the same behind me.

"Hi baby, hi boys and who is this beauty brave enough to stand with you goofs?" She says the last part looking me dead in the eye.

Although she practically radiates hugs, kindness, fluffy clouds and rainbows; her stare still intimidates me so I look down at my feet.

"Lae this is my friend from Mumbai Jasmine, and Jass this is Layla." I scoff, I know who she is alright.

"Jasmine? There's only one Jasmine I know from Mumbai with such beautiful hair. You wouldn't happen to be Jasmine Pancholi, would you?" she says closely examining my facial features.

I have half a mind to lie to her and tell her she is mistakening me for someone else but then again I can't really say anything to her without wanting to pass out so I just nod whilst admiring the waxed floor. She squeals loudly and since I hadn't noticed that she has moved closer to me, I jump back and hit my head on Jordon's chest.

He grunts in pain and I turn to give him a quick apologetic smile. When I turn back Layla is still jumping around squealing.

"Oh my freak'n gosh it's really you! I should have noticed from your hair. That beautiful long brown hair of yours isn't hard to miss. It's been what? Six years! And to think I happen to meet you in a school once again. Oh some things never change." She says staring off into the distance most probably remembering the first time we met on a slide on the first day of school.

"It's actually been eight years, but who's counting right." I finally find my voice and say.

"Oh, my bad. Well we should all hangout! I finally get to meet my childhood bestie after so many years!", she says as she moves towards the lunch area and the guys follow behind her.

She really hasn't changed one bit. She's been talking nonstop, about how excited she is to see me and how she wishes we would have had more than just biology in common.

She keeps on bringing up the past and all it does is makes me anxious. She remembers a different story than what I do. Her past memories of our time together is all happy and mushy. But mine is full of hurt and things no kid that age should experience.

I've been picking at my food, too occupied to stuff my face. And it's not until she asks the dreaded question do I finally give her my attention.

"So Jams, what have you been up to lately? How was things after I left?", she questions addressing me by the silly nickname she gave me when we were kids.

When I muster enough courage to look up at her I see that she is smiling at me and I have to resist the urge to run into her arms and cry whilst telling her about all the horrors that occurred once she left. She is the same Layla, but I'm not the same Jasmine that she knew. I have to get a hold of myself.

Just the sight of someone familiar, someone who knows my troubles and has been with me through most of my childhood before things got bad, brings unshed tears to my eyes and I look back down in hopes of her not noticing.

She does however, and attempts to place her hands on my shoulder. I can't resist it anymore and a sob escapes my lips. She tires to stand up and come around the table to console me, but I am out of my chair and into the school building before she can even reach me.

Oh how the great have fallen. I've bottled up these emotions for years and the sight of her has all my walls crumbling down.

I feel pathetic and I never let my guard down. Wiping my tears and try to navigate the complicated hallways of this school as I make my way to the restroom.

Half way there as I mentally fight with my split personalities about how I've made a fool out of us, it occurs to me that I don't know where the heck it is. I am ready to stop a girl who is staring at me like I've just escaped from a zoo and ask for directions, when I turn around to stop her I see that Layla has been following me at a distance. I gesture for her to come over and she does just that.

Feeling like an idiot for just stalking off like that in an attempt to play it all off cool, a giggle escapes. Soon she is giggling with me as we head off in the direction of the bathroom, which was in the opposite direction than the one I was going in.

Once we get there I look at myself in the mirror and an all too familiar sight meets my eyes.

I haven't seen her for almost two years and now here she is standing in front of me staring me dead in the eye reminding me of all the hurtful things said, all the horrific things done, reminding me of the fear.

The fear I tried to hide but just can't, the fear keeping me awake most nights, the same fear that made me the brick wall I am.

The memories come back, the pain consuming my thoughts and like a flood it just keeps getting worse and destroying everything in it's path, my sanity and my sense of reasoning gone. My knees feel weak and I sink to the ground, the burdens on my shoulders becoming too heavy to bear. I put my hands on my knees and rest my head on top of them allowing myself to cry without anyone seeing my face.

Soon Layla is by my side holding me and gently massaging my back. Offering me comfort and words of hope. I cry for all the words said, I cry for all the things done and I cry more for the death of a bright spirited young girl, a kind girl, a girl who just wanted to feel comfortable in her own skin; I finally cry for the death of the old me.

A/N

Sorry for not updating for two weeks.

College is kicking my butt.

Anyways I hope you are enjoying The Freak's Secret.

The next chapters will be paywalled as the plot progresses further so please stick around.

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