•Chapter 4•

*If I showed you my flaws...if I couldn't be strong...tell me honestly...would you still love me the same??*

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*Kevin.

Why am I here??

I mean....why am I living??

I know I know. I should accept life for what is it and that I should be grateful that I even have a life to live but what if I don't want to live this life anymore...

All the pain, the trauma, the torture...what is it all for?? Is it to have to constantly live in fear of what might happen next?? Is it to have to constantly look over your shoulder everywhere you go??

What is it all for??

I think about taking my life everyday. I think if this is really worth it. If being held hostage in the clutches of a man that I used to call dad is really ever worth it.

I could fight him. I could take him down. But there was always something that held me back from bringing him all the pain that he had inflicted on me.

On my mother.

On my sister.

Her name was Kaylee. Noticed how I said "was" and not "is"?? Well that's because he killed her. Beat her up and set her on fire. He had felt no ounce of remorse or guilt when he had heard that his daughter had died. All he did was laugh and said "accidents happen."

I will never forget the look on his face. The look of pure joy and happiness. It was like he was enjoying the feel of bringing the people around him pain and knowing that we would never fight back gave him more and more power.

I will never forget the promise that I made Kaylee that night before she had died.

"Get out of there Kevin. Go be happy. Protect mom. Protect your happiness."

And that's exactly what I had planned to do. I won't let her down. I just won't.

The sound of my bedroom door slamming open and hitting my wall brought me out of my slumber. I jolted up from my bed and rubbed my eyes tiredly.

"Mom. What's going on?? Is he back??" My voice groggily from sleep. I looked at the clock on my nightstand and read that it was 4 in the morning on a Saturday.

"No honey. I just came in to check if you are okay." She whispered. I sighed. Normally when my mom does this she has had a nightmare and she can't sleep. She always tells me that she worries that I might be next in line to join Kaylee up in heaven.

She moved towards my bed and sat on my left side and placed her hand on my check and cradled my face while tears brimmed in her eyes.

I pulled my mom into a hug and placed a kiss on top of her head.

"I'm okay mom." I said back. Gently pulling back I laced my finger with my mothers and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze just to let her know that I'm okay.

"I just can't lose another child." She stated. "I just can't." Her voice broke as she spoke her last statement.

"Things won't always be like this mom. I promised Kaylee that I would get us out of here and I plan to make that promise come true. You will get to be happy mom."

She smiled at me and leaned over to place a kiss on my cheek.

"I know baby." She said.

My mom always had faith in me. She trusted everything that I said to her. Every promise I made to her made her believe that there was a happily ever after out there for her. For us. Now was just not the right time.

"Since I'm up do you wanna watch a movie??" I asked getting out bed to stretch my body.

"Anything is okay with me. As long as I know that you're breathing and right next to me then I don't mind." She said slightly smiling.

Walking down the stairs into the living room I switched on the tv and put on my mom and I's favourite movie. This movie reminds me so much of when I was little and Kaylee was still around. She made us fall in love with this movie. She always had her way with everything. She had everyone wrapped around her fingers and she didn't even notice it.

My mom fell asleep halfway during the movie. I gently picked her up bridal style and walked towards the stairs to my bedroom and placed her in my bed. I pulled the blankets up to her shoulders and placed a small lingering kiss on her forehead and whispered goodnight.

I padded down the stairs back into the living room and continued to watch tv. I don't know how much times had passed before I passed out on the couch. I was woken up by the sound of my drunken fathers voice entering the house.

"Where is that whore called your mother??" He slurred. My blood immediately started to boil at the way he addressed my mother.

"Didn't you get enough satisfaction sticking your dick in another woman's vagina??" I asked standing up.

"You're right. I didn't." He stated. "Now where the fuck is she??" He asked growing impatient.

"That's none of your fucking business. Leave my mother alone." I stood in front of him.

He swung is right fist and it connected straight with my cheek and he kneed me in my stomach. I groaned and fell to the floor.

He sat on my waist and continued to lay punches at my face. Punch after punch. My vision started to blur as more punches connected to my face. He stood up and kicked me square in the stomach over and over. I coughed out repeatedly and I could taste the blood riling up my throat.

"Next time don't fucking test me or you won't be so lucky. Just like your sister." He said. He walked out the door and slammed it shut. At the same time mom came rushing down the stairs and kneeled to my side.

"Kevin baby can you hear me??" My mom asked her voice breaking as she spoke.

I groaned and tried to get up only to fall right back down. My mom gently tried to lift me up without hurting me. She placed me on the couch and slowly felt myself drifting into the darkness.

The only voice that could be heard was the sound of my mother's voice telling me that she's sorry.

••••••••

I woke up in a tremendous amount of pain. I tried to get up from the couch but my mom pushed me back down gently back on the couch.

"How are you feeling baby??" She asked softly.

"Like shit." I stated.

"I'm so sorry that this happened to you Kevin." She whispered while tears ran down her face.

"He was going to come after you mom. I wouldn't have it any other way." I mumbled.

"I'm the mother. I'm supposed to protect her child from any harm."

"And I'm the son. I'm supposed to protect the mother when she can't protect herself from the danger."

She sighed.

"This is a battle that you are not going to win mom. Rather it be me than you. I cannot just sit back and have him use you as a punching bag."

"I know but..."

I cut her off. "There's no buts mom. I'm okay." I said. She hesitantly nodded her head then walked into the kitchen.

"What time is it??" I yelled.

"6 in the evening." She replied back.

Shit. How long was I out??

"I'm going to head to the gym mom."

"Are you sure sweetie??" She walked in with a glass full of water and two pain pills.

I gulped down the water along with the pills. I handed her the glass and stood up slowly. I hissed as the pain shot threw my body.

"Yeah I'm sure. I need to take the edge off. I'm going to go shower and then I'll be on my way out." I walked towards the stairs.

"Alright baby but please be careful." She warned.

"I will. I'll call you if I'm going to be late. Make sure to lock your bedroom door before you sleep. I don't want him getting to you."

"I promise."

I walked up the stairs and headed into my room to shower.

I loved the feel of the hot water cascading down my body. It took most of the pain away. It stung for a little bit but soon the pain turned into relaxation.

I don't know how long I was in the shower just letting the water wash away the blood and pain.

I changed into my gym attire and quickly ran down the stairs and found my mom sleeping on the couch. I picked her up and put her in a room and wrote a note for her for when she wakes up.

I walked out the front door with my earphones in my ear and music blasting through.

I'm going to get you out of this mom.

I promise.

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