Chapter 2: Girlfriend

- Z Y R E N -

"Son, I hate to ask you about this but are you gay?”

I am not new to that question. My family thinks I am gay for not having girlfriend or I don’t hang out with female compared to my cousins and brother who’s living their life to the fullest of pleasure. I hate how they define the term guy of having a girlfriend.

Why can’t they include me who’s afraid to get hurt. I remember how my brother’s tears fall together with runny nose when they broke up with his two-year girlfriend. He said he really did his best in his performance yet he can’t understand why they broke up.

And after a week, my female cousin commited suicide because of his boyfriend who left him but luckily she’s fine now.

"Pa, this is the right time to say." I jokingly said.

He starts to sit properly on his swivel chair with wrinkles forehead. I want to laugh at his face but I can’t.

"What if I am?" I asked with serious tone. His eyes shift to someone who’s ready to kill me yet trying his compose to be okay and just inhale.

"ZYREN GOCHIACO!" He shouted because of that my mama and bro suddenly went inside.

"What happened?" Mama is worriedly asking while calming Papa who keeps shooting daggers on his eyes. Bro just tap me in my shoulder

"Is that your final answer?" He’s really furious.

And I know I had to say “It’s a prank. I’m a man. I also pleasure myself.”

"We don’t care about your fucking hands. It’s not the basis of being a man.” that’s my bro. One thing I want to say he’s an asshole.

This issue will never end until I can introduce my girlfriend.

“I have a girlfriend. Wanna meet her?"

I am not gay and I never imagine being one. I don’t even have a girlfriend but I want to make sure they will not question me about my gender.

We went to mall because I said my imaginary girlfriend will be here. I just hope I can find someone who can pretend.

“Thank me later dude,” my brother said. He’s the one who initiate the mall where I can find someone but ofcourse I don’t trust him. I want to get over with this.

“Where is she? I hope she’s a good person.”

I can even sense how my mama is very anticipating with my imaginary gf but I don’t have one. I suddenly feel guilty for lying. I don’t want Ma to be disappointed.

I pretended to scroll on my phone, trying to make up something, typing like crazy then erase afterwards. Keeping them entertained and making up excuses like my gf already went to her home.

"Let’s go. We just have to accept it. Time will come your father will understand you.”

I saw my mama's disappointed eyes. This is why I hate how they keep expecting something frome. I don’t want Mama to be sad.

“I’m no—t” I can’t even finish my sentence because they are all gone.

“They’ll understand,” my brother said while tapping my shoulder. I grimace at him and give him a middle finger.

Until in the parking lot we keep barking to each other but my eyes still focus on how my Mama and Papa are sad. I just want them to know that I am not a gay and having girlfriend doesn’t mean anything. Does girlfriend an accessory?

I flinched when a motorcycle passed in front of me. I thought it will be my end. A woman is riding that and she doesn’t wear a helmet. Her hair is long with color gray at the end. Her style is all black, shoes, pants, cap and even her manicure.

A little by little she’s coming near me while busy fitting her cap.

"Ren,” Mama called me.

She’s on the verge of entering the van we drove here. She really looks disappointed and sad. In my everyday life, she keeps bugging me, asking about my girlfriend like what is her personality, name and such and I always reply that I am not ready to commit in a relationship. I’m afraid my life will be miserable.

My face turns to a girl who’s near at me. I immediately grab her and rest my arm in her shoulder.

“Mama, my girlfriend.” I shouted.