Please, Remember me part 2 (Cever & Enyo)

My world crumbled the day I lost the most precious thing in my new life, Enyo. My heart was shattered as soon as she looked at me without any recognition. It's been months since her memories were taken away by a bloody human, there cruelty of these humans is boundless.

I had tried so many times to get her memories of me back... she was the same but so so different. I couldn't look her in the eyes without pain filling every part of my body. Aine and Enyo had been joined at the hip and she had even remembered enough to trust Hiro but not me.

Not me.

I couldn't talk to her without her looking confused, she didn't remember me. Everything about us was gone like I was never hers. I had never existed in her mind because I was too slow. Too distracted by her and happiness, why did I always hurt the people? Why wherever I go someone is always in pain? I had been brought away from my kingdom and enough pain was caused they're because of how improper it was for me to change. No one but the elders thought that but the hurt on their face when I told them. Told them who I was inside and that I would lead as a king instead of a queen.

When I barred who I was all I got was pain, at the start, in return. I was happy here. Sure war is never what I want but I had her.

I HAD HER.

Had, that's all it ever is. I was accepted but I had their love, her love. I had my princess in my grasp but I left her and I was too slow. What was I but a failure, to them, to her, to me? I don't want to put her through so much more than I already have.

I'll watch her from afar, I will protect her from afar. I have accepted that I will never be hers anymore that I will never be able to be held by her or her from me. I'll never smell the scent of the forest in her hair after she's laid in the grass and leaves for hours. Never will I feel her soft cheeks in my hands or her hands who have gotten so strong since coming here. Her loving voice will never again be directed at me, not in the way I need and crave.

I'll watch as she walks, talks and lives without any trace of me other than the man she knows has feelings for her that she doesn't even remember loving. I will look sadly back at all the pitying glances as everyone knows, except her, there are no hiding things in camp. Not something like this. She deserves all the love... just not mine because it ends up hurting her.

Even after vows and declarations to protect her.

I failed.

I won't push, I won't want, I won't love even though it hurts. I will protect the camp and make up for what I couldn't protect. Even though the mantra in my mind will forever be on loop with this,

Please remember me Enyo...

Please remember me Enyo.

Please remember me Enyo!

Please remember me!

Please remember ME.

I've been staring off into space for too long I'm being called. It sounds so very far away. So familiar but very far. My head turns at the sound to see my knights calling my name all with the same expression, such pitying looks. I'll never be able to put into words how much disdain I've accumulated for that look. for that ugly, humiliating look.

I hate it.

But I deserve it... I deserve them all but I'd rather they all believe it was my fault. I would rather all their looks be of disgust instead of sadness and pity.

I feel a hand be placed onto my shoulder and they're looking at me full of concern and the only thought that forms, is that I don't deserve it. I'm being led towards a cabin, I'm realizing it's ours. I'm a king I should be strong, their protector but I'm here being led to rest in our cabin in the middle of daylight. I'm stuck in my mind it's always about her because she is most important.

To me, she is my world. But I've been cast into the dark, unremembered.

I would gladly stay in her darkness as long as she is happiest that way. I have given up after months, months it has been since I have been loved by her. I will live on with us so she doesn't have to be burdened by us again. Until she chooses to until her mind deems it ready. But I have accepted it could never happen. I will wait for her.

My world has been in ruins since she's been gone and it's groundbreaking pain to know it was my fault to know that she's right there. But I am nothing.

Nothing.

Please remember me...

I've been stripped of my armor and sobs have interrupted the familiar people's movements. Why can't I even look at them? Who's crying so loudly and brokenly.

Me. Those are my cries. Those are familiar as well. I pull myself away from all the loving touches of the others. I do not deserve them. I still feel the presence of them around me but I cannot see them, I've been looking at the ground the entire time, I can hear them talking again but it sounds very far away.

I leave them to find refuge in my room... I'll pull myself back out tomorrow and I'll be ready to protect them all tomorrow. I'll be ready to protect her. I will never move on from her because hope is a dangerous thing... I've been told that. Never have I believed it till now. I have hope I'll be remembered.

I want to be remembered by her even if the world forgets, even if my kingdom forgets me. If she remembers I'll be whole again. To be whole again... that thought makes me laugh weakly. How can a few months feel like forever? Missing her makes time apart seem agonizingly slow.

I love her and I'm unremembered, living alone with our memories.

Please, remember us.