Where it all started (part 1)

One time when I was 12.

That one time when I always cry secretly at home.

Because if they heard it, I'll be dead.

"I took a liking to your child" I heard from the guy that's currently talking with my dad

"He's quite manly" another guy talking to him said. My dad slaps his thigh while chuckling, acting all proud.

"Mmph" I groaned while climbing my brother's room again.

My brother that left the house and became free from my parents hands

He successfuly let his black hair grow like a woman, make his lips covered with red lipstick. He got all of the things that I can't have.

"I won't leave you here, I love you, Mikhael, that's why" he got all he wants in exchange of the words he once told me.

My dad came into my room with an emotionless face

"You're going to Hasegawa lab shit" my dad said while looking down at me.

"Why?? I'm totally fine, I don't need to go to a lab" I defended myself while forcing myself to smile

"Because I hate feminism at this house" he seriously told me.

At the same day, my mom came to my room and started to comb my short hair

"You know if you're a girl, I'll totally defend you from your father" she told me

I looked at her through the mirror and see her smiling while looking at my short green hair

"Even if I'm still a boy, you can defend me, right?" I nervously asked. He looks at my blue eyes through the mirror as well saying,

"You look like a boy, so why would I?"

She laughs and looks at my hair again, "That's why I'm working so hard to grow your hair out, you need to look like a girl, Emma" my own mother, doesn't even remembered the name she gave me.

Ever since she found out I have a natural green hair and blue eyes, he's been so obssessed at making me a girl

Which my dad hates

"I would love your big brother if he had a pink hair" she told me.

I looked at my mom, seeing her bald head and face full of scars from my father.

You don't like his black hair because you said it looks plain, because you want to grow our my hair, so you can cut it and buy a wig that looks like mine.

Other than your obsession, you also have jealousy hiding within you.

I'm gonna ride the car that'll lead me to the lab. Looking at my mother being stopped by my father

"Don't take my girl away!! Emma!" She shouted, I'm trying so hard not to pity her remembering that the kitchen where she's always at is full of my picture proving her obsessioness

But what I remembered the most is that one picture that's pinned by knives with blood

Reminds me of how jealous you are