CHAPTER 4

I heard the sound of my annoying alarm clock. Could it not just shut up I know I have to get up. School sucks, damn!. The thought of the jerk Aiden and that made me want to puke.

Lets just say he's the annoying jerk I like being around. "I did not just say that." I do my normal everyday routine and head to hell also known as school.

Aiden spots my car and rushes to me. Hey there Shortcake. Shortcake huh? I thought you were used to me giving you names baby doll. I turn around and start to walk away from him, rolling my eyes of course. Did you just roll your eyes at me? I'm really starting to get the creeps with this guy. How did he know?

I just wanted this day to be over but it literally dragged like a snail trying to cross the Pacific Ocean or something. "Am I so unlucky?" Aiden sat with Clowy and I lunch time which made the make up monster really mad. Anyway nobody cares!.

The day was finally over and I rushed to the parking lot. I heard a tail follow up behind me. Aiden ofcourse. What do you want Aidy? I wanted to ask you something Lara. He looks really hot right now grey sweat pants, white sneakers and no shirt holy God please help me. "I hope I'm not drooling." Aiden looked nervous he put his hand behind his head. I wanted to know if you would come with my friends and I for an outing this weekend. Well thanks but no thanks. I have better things to do. Come on Lara, "we will have fun." If you come with me I promise to never bother you again. Oh really? Cross my heart Shortcake. Okay fine I'll think about it. Wait, Aiden grabbed my arm and looked at me so intensely. I then felt a liquid slide down my hand and when I looked at it.

"It was blood."

"What the actual fuck Lara?" Aiden's eyes widen in shock when he notices the cuts on my wrist. I quickly pull my arm away from him and roll my sleeve down. Not everyones lives are perfect like yours Aiden. Well who says my life is perfect? At least you can still smile Aiden. He looks at me with sympathy and I walk away as fast as I can. It was something I hated from the time my dad left me.

I open the door to my house and find Rachel sitting on the couch. My sister was beautiful in all ways possible. Everything about her was just perfect. She made the perfect model and she loved her job but apart from that Rachel was actually sweet and had a really soft heart. I throw my bag down and sit beside her. "You want to speak about something?" she asks me and I nod. She wraps her arms around me.

"I'm here for you." What's wrong? I miss daddy so much Rachel. I always do and I wish he were with us right now!. A tear escapes and rolls down my cheek but I quickly wipe it away.

It's okay to cry sometimes Lara. Shhh, we are going to get through this and we have to be strong for mom's sake. I know but I feel like I can't do this anymore.

Dad died because of me Rachel it was all my fault I should have died that day,not daddy. It's not your fault sweety,it was just meant to happen.

I went to my room it felt like depression was taking over my life. At one point I felt nothing,empty and lifeless that's how I would describe it. Miss Rose my psychologist once told me writing your feelings down can sometimes help you. So that's just what I did,I grabbed a notebook and a pen. I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow that paper stayed empty and I could not describe it in no better way as to how I felt.

I took out my guitar and sang a song. Sometimes it helped ease the pain. It was a song my dad always sang to me when I was a little child. It would forever be close to my heart.

Other than my dad I couldn't help but wonder why the guy I loved so much would hurt me so much. He hurt me to a point where I just stopped believing in love. He had been my first love and he cheated on me. My whole life was destroyed because of one guy.

I knew where I had to go in order to feel better. So I grabbed my car keys and headed to the cemetery in New Orleans. I stopped at a grave stone that read Ethan collins. I put some flowers and took a seat next to it.

"I miss you so much dad."

I hope you can hear me right now and I hope you are in a better place. You once told me the person you love the most will always end up hurting you the most, you were so right. You and Jacob hurt me the most. I am such a lost soul dad, I'm so broken, I moved here only so I could feel closer to you. I love you so much father and im sorry this all happened because of me. I could not stop crying.

"God I think I'm gonna die!."

You know something dad, the saddest kind of sad is when your tears can't even drop sometimes and you feel nothing. It's like the world has just ended. You don't cry, you don't hear,you don't see. You just stay there...

for a second the heart dies.