29| silent

Damon

"Baby we need to talk 'cause I think it's time, I walk away. Before you start calling my name cause when you start begging me to stay, it's gonna be hard as hell." - Noah Cyrus with Gallant, Mad at you

***

I watched her as she laughed while he tackled her down. "Aaron, Aaron stop!" She giggled. He got up with a smile and put his hands up in mocked surrender.

I felt my heart sink at the image before me. It reminded me of such a familiar day.

Flashback:

Put me down! Damon put me down!" She giggled. "Only if you give me a kiss," I smirked.

She stayed silent, her eyes squinted as she continued to stay mute. "Hmm," she hummed and pretended to think about it. "A kiss?" She asked and I hummed in response. "Then put me down," She was still in his hold for a few more seconds but I slowly and gently let go.

Once I placed her down, she was still a few inches away from me and in a second, she took off running. "Eli!"

She never listened and just kept running off with a smile that was on her face. The cold winds air was blowing right into my face  as I sped into her direction. She was my happiness, but I didn't know how I would be happy if she were with somebody else.

***

Flashback: D- Damon?" I stuttered and it seemed as if he didn't hear me at all. His eyes were fixed on the white dress and my heart dropped at the sight. He was hurt.

"Damon I was just- I just-" I opened my mouth but then I closed it. "You don't have to explain yourself to me," he said, his eyes finally meeting mine. His blue eyes were bloodshot but they were still piercing through my hazel green ones.

"I'll just go-"

"No Damon no! Stop! Don't walk out on me!" I yelled and shut the door as he opened it. "I do not deserve this,

"You said that you'd marry me if you could right?" I asked with tears in my eyes. "Let's run away then," I shrugged. "We could be happy, we could build something away from everything else, we could go back to Italy,"

"Italy?" He uttered. "Yes. You've always dreamt of going home but you couldn't before. But now we can. Let's take this opportunity. Let's run away,"

"I wish I could agree and be happy about this decision but I'm not. I just can't," my hands dropped from his neck to no body part of him.

"You're kidding," I shook my head. "I've never been more serious,"

***

Final flashback:

"Eli, Eli are you ok?" I ran towards her.

"Don't touch me,"

"What- what happened-"

"You're just like him! You're just like your brother. No fucking feelings whatsoever! You don't care! How can you live by destroying other people feelings? How can you sleep thinking you've damaged someone with your words and your actions? "

"Eli I-"

"Don't 'Eli ' me! You're two heartless pieces of shit and you know what? I am ashamed for carrying your-" She cut herself off and her hand landed on her belly as she hissed in what seemed like pain. "Ahh," 

"Hey are you-"

"Don't touch me damnit," she glared.

***

And she was pregnant, with my own baby.

And after all of this time of criticising my own brother, I was just like him. Exactly like him and the image before me was exactly like the one of a month ago. So many times and days of in denial-ness, It didn't mean anything because at the end, I was just like him.

Though I've refused to see  it at times.

It was my fault that I didn't have her right now, it was my fault, I was a hypocrite and blamed all of the pain she was going through on my brother.

I was too much of a coward to admit that I was at fault too.

***

"Do you love him?"

"What? Damon I am not answering that question right now,"

"You're glowing," I pointed out and she looked at me like I was crazy. "You were right Melinoe, I am just like him. I reused to see it before but deep down I knew. I let go of the only woman who made me feel this way, we could've built our own family, we could've moved to Italy, but I was to much of a coward to all of that. I was a coward of my own love, I never listened, I degraded you with my own words that were false because I was stupid. You put me in my place and told me truth that I never realized before that I was just like him and you had your own reasons for falling for us both. You'd be carrying my baby and I didn't know when you planned on telling me but I understood why."

"Selling yourself less won't help this Damon."  She said quietly.  "But all that mattered to me," I carried on. " was seeing a smile, hearing your laugh, seeing your eyes twinkle, to make me happy. Even if I experienced it for a month and with another man, years. As long as you're happy, I'll try my best to be the same. "

"Damon I-"

"Your wedding is soon," I cut her off once again. "Very soon.  All I need is to see you happy to let you go. And I've finally seen it, he has become better, he makes you laugh and makes you happy. And with all that, I'm willing to let you go,"

"No Damon please,"

"Its for the best," I whispered and our foreheads pressed. "No Damon you can't do this to me. Not now, not ever." she paused. "I don't know why but it's so hard to fucking let you go." She

"I have to."

"One last kiss then?" I stayed silent and I closed my eyes, shut. Her hand was on my neck and a pool of tears were just streaming down her cheeks. She was leaning in and it only took for me to do the final step. "I'm sorry," I backed away. "I love you to death and don't stop that wedding for anything,"