Renegade

Right now I can't breathe

But I continue to bleed.

Out on the floor

I promised you,I swore.

But a silver blade

All I did was retrograde.

My seams torn and frayed

I wish I would have stayed.

You see I've strayed

I've always been played.

Like my life is a game

I'm always to blame.

My soul has no flame

With this blade I shall maim.

Feelings will not become tame

My heart will inflame.

I swallow every pill

It's how I learned to deal.

My life has gone downhill

One day depression will kill.

My heart will go still

Never reinforced with steel.

The cuts that will never heal

My life feels unreal.

This mask I shall wear

A smile so rare.

I wished I was aware

Of how bright is my flare.

I promise I swear

There is no wear and tear.

On this soul that i compare

Oh this cross I have to bear.

At life I will glare

And death I will stare.

I won't even dare

Because I don't even care.