Chapter 5: The Blue Butterfly

Aurelius Azure POV

I arrive at the Country Funeral Homes half an hour ago and I am still sitting inside my car, clutching the steering wheels using my both hands,

gritting my teeth and staring intently at the entrance of the funeral home.

I looked at the passenger seat where I put the potted blue tulips, and the small satchel with the seeds inside.

I let out a deep and heavy breath before going out after picking up the potted tulips and went inside the funeral home.

My steps were halted just right at the entrance of the building and looked inside with a painful eyes and a heavy heart.

I started to take a one heavy step followed by another until I can't count anymore how many steps I did.

Halting again at the entrance of where Asha's funeral room is, I looked around.

There were also people like me who stops on their tracks while staring at the entrance of their love one's funeral room,

some were crying on the hallway silently, and some were walking in and out the hall with nothing written in their faces except those painful eyes, gloomy auras, heavy steps and heavy breathing.

I looked inside the open funeral room, heave again a heavy breathe and went on.

Asha's Casket can be seen the moment you enter.

Her casket was in the middle and they were two column and five rows of leather long sofa for the visitors to sit in front and near the casket just a few feet away.

I walk in the center as it was the pathway but I didn't went to Asha's casket and only glance for a bit but never did go near and look at her inside it.

I can't take it, it would ripped my heart into pieces if I would force my self.

Mother saw me walking so slowly while I slightly bow my head gluing my eyes to the potted blue tulips that I held using my both hands.

I saw nanny Carmen at the back part just near the door where the food for the guest can be found when I roamed my eyes around the place.

I gave her a small smile when she saw me and mouthed the word 'welcome' and 'thank you'.

"Azure" Mother called my name softly and since the room was filled with total silent.

I can hear mother calling me and so I raised and look at where she is. I saw her waved her hand and softly smiled at me.

I smiled back and hurried my pace and walked to where she is, she sat in front, near Asha's casket.

I diverted my eyes again and only look at my mother. I sat where she tapped the vacant seat beside her

"You came" she said more of she was relieved that I visited Asha before her last mourn three days from now.

"Of course mom, I wanna be here before she go" I said pertaining to Asha and finally had the courage to look at her casket with tears starting to form again on my eyes

"Come on son, you had to see her, she is really a beauty" mother urging me while she starts to stand up and pulling my free hand but I refused to be pulled away

"I-I can't mom" I said and pulled my hand back and clench it. Mother bend her knees in front of me and held my head and I stared at her soft eyes and weak smiles.

Her long wavy chestnut hair was neatly fixed at her back, her almond blue eyes, and pointed nose.

My mother don't look like she aged around 40 - 50 years old where in fact she do

"Yes you can Azure, you just won't" mother said correcting my statement.

I leaned at my mother's hands on my face, closed my eyes and the tears I kept from falling finally find its ways to break free

"You're right mom, I just won't do it, I'm afraid to accept it" I said painfully and open my eyes and see the unshed tears from my mother's eyes

"It's okay to be afraid Azure, we all are" mother said and rubs my hair with the hand she used to held my face

"Life goes on. Whatever that is happening right now is something you should only pass by and not to be parked at.

I'm sure Asha won't like it if you stay hurting" She added then stands up and offer her hand

"Come on, you're giving that potted blue tulips to her right?" mother urges me again and I nodded with a small smiled and stands up accepting her hand.

As we walk slowly, a blue butterfly appeared, circling around me.

As it circles around, it was followed by blue small sparkles.

I looked beside my mother as we walked side by side but it seems like she don't notice the blue butterfly.

Only four more steps and we would be finally in front of Asha, then suddenly the time stop, literally it stopped.

Then the place becomes white and black and the only color that exist around was the blue potted tulips I'm holding,

the clothes I'm wearing and the blue butterfly that is now emitting a blinding blue lights.

I closed my eyes as it shines so bright and when I open up again, the funeral room of Asha can no longer be found

and it was replace of a simple house with a a combination of concrete and bamboo material and a bamboo fence that are only as tall as half of the human size.

The house was filled with flowers, different kinds of flowers, and the rays of sun are peeking on the leaves of the tall fruit trees that were surrounding the house that brings cool breeze.

I inhaled the refreshing air, it was nice and it smell like a fresh start for a person like me but where the heck am I?

I looked around only to be stop, It looks like I'm in a province. I don't know what province.

I saw a vegetable vendor pushing his vegetable cart "Excuse me, good day, can I ask? where am I?" I asked the vendor smiling awkwardly when he pass in front of me.

He stop on his tracks and looked at me from head to toe and I saw how his forehead furrowed, maybe he found me something ridiculous.

A man wearing almost black clothes and white shoes, standing asking where he is while holding a potted blue tulips

"You're in St. Monica young man" he answered "H-How f-far is St. Monica away from the city?" I asked again nervously

"It will took you a 16 hours travel to the city riding a bus" the vendor answered again that made me paled and made my knees almost wobbled.

How did I got here? Is it because of the butterfly? Was it magical? W-why did it brought me here?

Then suddenly a voice called out the vendor's name and made me stilled

"Uncle M!" I looked at where the voice came from and it was from the house I saw when I open my eyes earlier but the voice seemed to be so familiar to me

"I'm here to sell you some fresh picked vegetables from my garden" the vendor said loudly as the girl calling her was across the wide road standing smiling, emitting a positive vibe.

I looked at the vendor again and now he is busy pushing the cart toward the girl who's maybe 18 years old, she has a wavy brown hair, tanned skin and she was smiling so brightly at the vendor.

I couldn't totally see her well as she was standing across and was a bit far from where I stand.

The girl looked at me, her bright smiles fades and were replace by an awkward smile.

She then wave her hand at me and I waved back and smiled at her

"Asha, here they are" I heard the vendor said loudly as he shows his fresh vegetables to Asha after crossing the road and that made me stop,

faltered my awkward smiles, my hands that was waving, stop.

Unconsciously, I fell on my knees and my tears fell as I looked at the girl just across the wide road.

She looked concern as she was about to cross but the vendor held her arms maybe to stop her to take a look at his vegetables.

I let go of the potted blue tulips beside me as I tried to stand up after wiping my tears.

I have to at least hold her and made sure this is not a dream but when I started to take a step, a three wheeled vehicle passed by,

I looked at the the three wheeled vehicle passed by with an impatient eyes.

It produces thick dust as the wide road were not cemented and was dry and when I looked across the road,

the concrete and bamboo house, bamboo fence, the tall fruit trees and so the other houses were gone.

I am now back to the funeral homes sitting again near in front of Asha's casket and my mother standing in front of me offering her hand

"Come on, you're giving that bouquet of blue tulips to her right?" mother said urging me.

My forehead furrowed and I blinked as I look at the bouquet of tulips on my hands

"Bouquet? I am sure I bought a potted blue tulips" I blurted out which made my mom lower her outstretched hand and sat again beside me

"No you were holding a bouquet of those tulips since earlier you came in" my mother said in a tone as if I've become ridiculous

"I am sure mom its not a bouquet but a potted blue tulips" I said with a tone that she should believe me

Mother sighed and combed her hand to my hair "It was a bouquet of Blue tulips Azure" she insisted with a voice of finality

"You're maybe stressed that's why you thought you brought a potted one" mother added.

I just nodded with a small smiled to end the conversation.

Maybe it was just my imagination that it was a potted blue tulips and maybe it was just my imagination that I saw Asha, maybe mother was right, it's stress.

Right I remember, I hadn't got any full rest. Mother then stands up and offer her hand again but I refuse to accept it

"I'll better be get going, I'm seeing things that were not true mom" I said and stands up,

gave her the bouquet which she accepted and hid my hands on the pouch of my long black coat which earned a confuse look on my mother

"What do you mean?" asked my mother

"I just saw a minute ago that we were about to walk near to Asha then a blue butterfly flying, circling me" I paused and tilt my head up to stop my tears

"then a blue light appeared and it brought me to some province and I" I added and breath out the heavy feeling I'm getting as I reminiscence what had happened a while ago

"I think I saw Asha lively smiling while a vegetable vendor was approaching to her, she looked at me mother" I said while smiling sadly because of the last part I said

and left the place not minding the look of what my mother had. I know, what I said was far from what I said and that scares me most.

Am I starting to live having illusions of Asha?