Chapter Thirteen

1

I stayed in the sick bay for the rest of the day, claiming an illness I did not have. Except that sucker punch feeling I still had in the base of my stomach from Iman's cruel look. To me, it was as good as being ill. Fred came and went, each time trying without success to persuade me back to the class.

When she finally got tired of my moaning and self-pitiying complaints, she snapped at me and told me how all that had happened had been my fault to begin with.

I stared at her in shock, trembling fingers on my swollen lower lip and listened as she raved and ranted about my mule headedness, how I always leapt before looking, dragging her into the mess without caring if she got hurt in the process or not.

I took off my glasses, grimacing when I saw its cracked edge (stupid Ruth, I thought) and let my eyes roam over Fred.

"You just called me selfish" I accused her, some of my words a bit garbled.

Instead of looking shamefaced or apologising like I honestly expected, my friend shrugged her shoulder, " You are not a very considerate person"

That did it. There and then, I decided I would be going home to drown in my misery. I refused to show Fred how badly her words had hurt me.

How dare she accuse me of being inconsiderate when all I do is for her? I wondered bitterly. To show her that being daring once in a while wouldn't kill her. It was at the tip of my tongue to say something along that line but the hollow sound of the bell interrupted me.

Fred shuffled uncomfortably and asked if there was anything else I needed.

"My bag, I'm going home"

2

That evening, after maghrib prayers had been offered and dinner was happily bubbling away in the kitchen, Iman brought up the issue of my "horrific" attitude. Right in front of Hamza! I threw her a hateful look.

She recounted what had transpired earlier, laying emphasis on how I'd pointedly ignored her warnings just to see how far I could push Ruth. As she was talking, Suleiman gave me a funny look. I averted my eyes in embarrassment.

If I'd known that Iman was going to spill the bean, I would have told him the truth when he'd asked about my swollen lip. My answer had been something about trying to separate a fight and getting punched instead.

"Fred was involved so I had to do something" I'd added, soaking up the look of pride he showered me. How altruistic I must have appeared, only for Iman to do this! It was mortifying.

She was still going on and on about reputation, relationships with people and a bunch of things I couldn't pay attention to. My mind was on Suleiman and that look. Another person with a negative view of my personality.

After Iman had finished, with help from Lawal, Hamza launched into a lesson on attitude and manners. If not because of the intervention of the adhaan, it would have gone on for hours. In the end, I tendered an apology which sounded but wasn't, heartfelt and promised to change for the better.

I thought it was the end of that. Turned out though,it wasn't.

"Layla" called out Iman in the darkness. The night was silent and as dark as sin,weighted by the brooding clouds hanging from an even broodier sky. Not even the orchestra of night insects could be heard. It felt like a breath was being held, waiting.

I mumbled a reply.

"I'm sorry for your injury. She overreacted but that was because you refused to act on time".

In the foggy confine of my sleepy brain,it took me a while to catch up. Iman spoke in a rush, like this was something she'd thought and over thought and just wanted to get it out before she lose her nerve. I listened wordlessly.

She told me how she and Ruth had never been friends, they were almost always clashing on everything, from serious issues to trivial ones. Then this issue on tutoring her had forced them to spend more time together than they were comfortable with and even though, it was terrible at first, they were getting to the point of cordiality. And I might have undid weeks of patience and understanding with my little stunt.

"It's like I'm fussing too much,right? But I know how Ruth can be".

"Absolutely ruthless" I quipped in, drowsily, expecting Iman to laugh. Instead, she fell silent and in the ominous dark, whispered "Yes. Absolutely ruthless".

3

On the last day of Hamza's stay, Naja'atu came to visit. It was the first time since she'd come for that brief vacation at home that I would be seeing her.

Even though she looked gorgeous,as always, there was an underlying current of misery beneath her ravishing smile and expensive perfume. I could see it in her manner,in the slight tremble of her well manicured hands,in her laughter which rang out loud and false.

It was a Saturday and mummy with Iman had gone to the market. Pleading ill, not to mention how horrible I must look with my injured mouth, I'd stayed back.

Suleiman and I, for it turned out he didn't consider me a terrible person, were arguing over two characters in the movie we were watching when sister Naja entered.

I leapt into her open arms and hugged her so tight, she gasped. Suleiman on the other hand, wasn't exactly rude, but his manner was cool. He wouldn't even look her in the eye. Then I reached the only reasonable conclusion and laughed at him when she left to see Hamza.

"What?" He scowled

"You are shy! You could not even look at her face!"

He grumbled but did not outrightly deny it. Naja'atu came back into the living room after a while, her eyes very bright and shimmery. I recognised the look; she was holding back tears.

Hamza and Lawal soon came to join us and even though the conversation rotated about mundane stuff , mostly the weather;work;school, I couldn't help but feel the bands of tension wrapping tighter and tighter around the gathering.

Something was being held back. Sister Naja, most of all, was the most put out. Not her easy smile nor her facade of outward calm could deceive me.

She wasn't okay and I was sure of it, besides, she had failed to notice my injury. Knowing Naja'atu, that was indication enough.