Liar

Warning: The content of this chapter might be triggering for some people. Do not proceed if you are sensitive to the topic (strong language). You have been warned.

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When life gives you lemons, what would you do? Will you make lemonade as most people do? Will you just squeeze the juice out of it and said fuck it? Or will you accept it, and let it sterilize your injuries? Can you withstand the pain while it continues to sore your opened wound?

Have you ever thought for a moment, that someday, you'll see your own life crumbles right in front of your eyes? Whether it is about the failure of the relationship. Or about debt that is steadily growing. Or maybe a job that you have failed to gain or keep? I do. And it's happening right now. Slowly and steadily goes downhill as I keep on riding this descending life into the nothingness that I have now familiar with.

My life had never been easy. I've been trying to push myself up as I keep on dragging my feet to the harsh pavement road, leaving trails of blood as I go. I always try to convince myself to move forward, that someday, all of this will eventually get better. That my life won't be this shitty forever. That God will eventually help me lessen my burden.

Oh, how wrong I was.

I thought my life will turn easier when I met him. Someone that I had once trust deeply. He had given me chances to rest, gave me a sense of security in a form of his presence. He had always rooted me, telling me how my life will someday turn more beautiful as long as I am holding on to him. He utters sweet words to me, telling me how my suffering will eventually end as long as I keep on sticking to his side. He has slowly made me become dependant on him, making me unable to stand on my own two feet as he successfully marked himself into my life.

I thought he will be a gentle breeze that comes to help me bloom more abundantly. The soft wind that helps to make me grow. To widen my seed and spread it to the vast field of the universe. I thought he will be the one who's going to spread my wings wider than before, helping me to fly higher, longer.

Oh, how wrong I was.

Slowly, a series of unfortunate events keep on happening as he slowly turns into someone that I barely recognize. The gentle behaviour turns into something that is far from it. He had now wrecked my life, ruin everything that is good in my life with his harsh wind, like a tornado that had come and violently rotating and bring all of the surroundings inside his turbulence, bringing it all into destruction.

His once sentences that are so convincing and full of hope, that once elevate all of my desire of living so high into the sky, are now dropping me deeper into the endless abyss with uncontrollable speed, sending me to descend quickly into a dark world that I never thought I'll be in. His words that are full of promises have now become something that I am now distrust.

Lies after lies.

Sweet words are kept on coming out from his mouth. He keeps on uttering another lie every time he's in front of me. He shows me his smile that once was so endearing, convincing, that I know believe underneath it is just another lie.

Lies after lies.

Those gentle voices are now letting out other meaningless words to me, trying to gain my trust again with his mealy-mouthed excuses. He tries to turn me into the idiotic man I once was, who believe those beautiful sentences that he let out easily. he had repeatedly used my weakness, urging me to believe him once more.

What a liar.

He shows me how life will eventually be better if I keep on being by his side. But how can I? It has been years and it seems my life is getting lower. It has been so long that I know him but my life seems to be getting worse. he shows me the worldly beauty that I can get if I stay with him. Telling me that this will eventually become my life as well if I keep on plastering myself to him. But how? When you yourself are the reason of my life has been a living hell on earth?

You show me that terrestrial paradise does exist but you keep on shoving me to this earthly purgatory. Keep on telling me to hold on but your actions are causing my fingers to slowly let go. What do you really want from me?

Tell me. You liar.

Lies after lies you have uttered. Words after words you have tainted. What other things that you will ruin with that tongue of yours? Until when you will keep on lying like this?

Until I die? Until I am not in this world anymore?

Will you finally be happy if I am gone? Is that what you want?

What did I ever do to you? That you have continuously try to convince me to keep on trusting you. Uttering words to make me believe you but as well stabbing my back and sucking all of the blood out of me?

What do you want from me?

How can you be this despicable?

How long will you hide those fucking lies under those sweet promises of yours?

Fucking piece of shit.

I wish I have never known you. I wish you have never even born. I wish I can turn back time and stab your heart, not giving you a chance to engrave yourself into mine. I despise you and your sweet mouth. I wish you're gone. I wish God will stop you to keep on stepping on this world. You liar.

I fucking despise you.

I fucking despise you, who is the cause of my destruction. I wish someone will eventually punish you, for pushing me into the edge of my life. I wish all of the people will step on you, like how you kept on stepping my life like a fucking carpet. I wish someone will pull out your blackened heart and tear it into shreds in front of your lifeless eyes.

You fucking piece of shit. I hope you die with that tongue shoved deep inside of your mouth.

You liar.

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