It's been seven years

I am Guatemala Louise and I am a fresh graduate of BA English Language and I didn't expect that entering the adult world is too hard. These past few days I am really exhausted because no one still hired me and it's been 2 months since I graduated and came back here in the Philippines. I am now running out of time if still did not hired this month, my Mom will come at me and she will let me handle our business instead but I don't want it, I want to become independent and while I am resting here in the rest area, my past clouded my mind again.

It's been seven years since my last relationship and since that day I never been in relationship again. It's not that no one tried to court me, it just that I am not interested being in relationship again because being in relationship is kind of tiresome and it consume your time so much from overthinking and it is only a pure bullshit. I only said that because my last relationship is not really good. We stayed for almost 4 years but then one day everything changed because of the appearance of another girl. I thought everything's alright because that girl was Sassy his childhood friend and way back then, I really don't mind her presence because our relationship is really admirable and everyone says that we are their inspiration to hold their relationship with trust and faith, we are their role model but then he became cold and he became easily irritated to my presence. I thought, it is just normal so I just let it go until two weeks passed, Jenouvert did not contact me and he never showed himself but still I hold on because I thought he was just preparing for our anniversary. It was when our anniversary, I decided to visit him at their house and when I got their house, his Mom told me that he went out with his childhood friend and she told me that maybe they are in the near park so I went there. When I got there, I was about to call him but then my heart break into tiny pieces because they kissed in front of the people in the park and after they kissed, Sassy laughed flirtatiously after receiving a ring from him and then when he carried her to spin, they saw me holding my breath and crying. I did not expect that he will cheat on me that day because it was must be our day but my world crumbled inti pieces. He called my name but I turned and run away that time because I am too hurt and the pain inside my heart is too much to handle. I was running and running and running and then I bumped into our friends. They saw me crying and it seems like they already what happen because I saw in their eyes the sympathy and they hugged me but I pushed them because they whispered in my ears the word that I don't want to hear from them which is the "I'm sorry". How dare them to treat me like an idiot. They are trying to reach my hand but I shoved them and run again and then I suddenly felt numb and then I realized I was lying in the street and I am feeling dizzy. I heard different shouts and when I was about to loss consciously, someone lifted me up and when I woke up, I was in hospital and our friends and Sassy and Jenouvert. He was holding my hand tightly, I felt weak and feel horrible because the people around me just betrayed me. When they hear my sobs, they called the Doctor and they are asking if I am okay. The doctor checked me up and after that he said that I need to rest and they need to leave. They are holding back but I just closed my eyes and ignored them until they said that they will be back tomorrow but Jenouvert stayed. He was about to hold my hand again when the door opened and my Mom and Brother rushed over and hugged me and I did not suppress myself from crying anymore. My brother was too furious and he pushed Jenouvert and then punched him. He was about to punched him again when the nurse and passerby stopped him. My brother was still furious and he cursed him. "damn you! I entrusted my sister to you but you end up hurting her! I don't want to see you near to my sister again! LEAVE!" after my brother shouted, he closed the door and rushed over again to me. He hugged me tightly and saying "everything's gonna be alright". I was crying so much until I fall asleep. When I woke up again, my brother is talking angrily again while my Mom is trying to calm him down, when I looked into the corner, my brother is standing while facing my friends including Jenouvert. My brother is making them leave but they don't want too. He was about to pushed them all when I called him, "Brother, let them in. I need to talk to them. Don't worry, I will be alright" I said and he rushed beside and whispered "are you sure? I will never forgive them" he said but I smiled to him. "just give us 3 minutes to talk" I told him and after that, he went out with my Mom. They all went in and 1 minute passed no one still tried to talk and they are all looking at their feet. "I trusted you all, I thought you guys are my friends but I was wrong. You all betrayed me. Especially you Jenouvert, I love you so much but you cheated on me and worst you made me look stupid. I can't imagine my life without you guys, but enough! I am so damn hurt. This pain inside me is killing me. I need time and space to accept this situation. So, please don't you ever contact me again and Jenouvert, just let me say this to decrease the pain even just a little, let's break up" I said to them. I can see and hear their sobs but I ignored and decided to looked away because, looking at them hurts me more. "please leave!" I said again and then I heard their cries loudly, they still don't want to leave and that's why I shouted loudly "PLEASE LEAVE! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE". They are pleading to me to listen to them but then my brother came in and shoved them away. After that day, I was discharged and my brother and my mom decided to transfer me into other school in California.