Chapter 1

When we arrived at the orphanage, they asked me to grab my suitcase. I have packed the only things I could bare to bring with me. I had brung my two sketchbooks, Polaroid camera, my favorite books, my softball glove(it was left-handed), my converse, black clompy boots, a few black sweaters, turtle necks, and my colored contacts with its solution. I tried to bring some other things , but they were laced in the nightmarish memories of the past. The orphanage looked like a large, old , American brick house with a large balcony, and large windows. When we walked up to the front, all I could hear was the small whispering. The walls were all black, brown, and a slight gray toned tan. I could hear people teaching in there classrooms. We walked past the corridor, a library, a bathroom, and a common room . We walked past some huge doors opening into a large bedroom. There was at least fifty beds, and they were all perfectly spaced out from each other. The lady led me to my bed, and told me this,"This will be your bed. There is a nightstand for your belongings and shoes. Under your bed..." ( she said as she bent down to the foot of the bed) "Here is where you will store your clothes. Now we do have a uniform, but you can wear some of your clothes as long as they're the same style. Ok?" She was kind of annoying. Her voice was a raspy, but sweet kind of voice. "Ok," I said quietly. She started speaking again which gave me a migraine, " My name is Mrs.Keyl, and everybody is in the last class of the day. Ahh, here. Here's your schedule. Next is free time for two hours ," Mrs.Keyl said joyfully. When she had left I plopped down on my bed, tired of everything that happened way too fast. I felt like I wanted to cry , but there was nothing left in me. For the first thirty minutes I just sat there thinking about nothing. numb. Hush,small,quiet mouse. Numb. Numb. Numb. Go away. No. No . NO. Tick. Tok. Tick. Tok. Tick. Tok. Tick tok goes the clock. Numb. Numb. Numb. Go away. Tick. Tick. Tick. Numb. Num...nu....n... Tick. Tok. Tick. Tok. Heartbeat. Heartbeat. Heartbeat. Thirty minutes. Gone. I was a little dizzy when I had woken up. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Heartbeat. Heartbeat. Heartbeat. After I got up I went down to check the contents under my bed. A uniform. The colors were navy blue, onyx black, and a grayish maroon. I grabbed black dress pants, a blue button up, a black sweater, gray socks, some seemingly expensive glossy black dress shoes, and a leather belt. After I had changed I looked in the long mirror. Even tho I slowly creeped to the mirror, I still got caught off guard at my appearance. I had cut my hair like a guy. It was dirty blond with blond highlights. I had put in my color contacts, so now they where dark blue on one side and light blue on the other. I had dotted freckles on my nose ands cheeks. My shoulders where broader than ever , and my arms had visibly gotten larger. I had gotten taller, about five inches more. I was about five nine. All that work in the summer had helped that . A-all that work in the summer. A-all t-that work. A-all t-that w-work. I-in the summer I worked with my dad . M-my dad. M-my d-d-dad. W-worked. W-worked. W-worked. W-with. W-with. W-with. M-my. M-my . M-my. D-dad. D-dad. D-dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. No . No. No . No. No. Dad. Death . Dad . No. Heartbeat . The last thing I comprehended was the floor falling fast at my face.