A/N: Disasterous prologue, rewritten, entirely. It's easier! (5/19/21). Edit additional details. (5/21/21).
Standing above the historic stone walls of this capital that I've developed, I looked onward and saw again, glamorous glass buildings shining away in the day. It's unbelievable to see this ancient town go from medieval technology to featuring one of mankind's best developments back on Earth, in this feudal world. Stone pavements from magic to machine-made asphalt roads, concrete sidewalks, street lights, and many more that I couldn't think of.
When I'm in trouble, I've always leaned on the grooves on this specific part of the stone wall. It reminds me of some times with my past... that I couldn't really get rid of. But, hearing the sounds of vehicles, people talking, doing their things, it's just calming. Somehow. Politically, I was able to make one of the most immeasurable governments in this world that I could've thought of. It's probably even better than the countries on Earth. Total stability, everything. But, with that, I still don't feel accomplished. Do I even deserve the praise after what I've done in my previous life? Is it even my body? Am I the same me? Or, the new me? These are the questions that I've always thought of on this stone wall.
After the continuous wars and skirmishes, this is the result I'm seeing, a city that no one can ever make. How splendid!
I smiled at the thriving local shops, families enjoying their time together. I dearly didn't have that privilege on Earth. Having the experience of a family isn't in me. But in this world, I've gained it. In fact, this stone wall is more of a protected monument. It's in the middle of the park, in this capital. Surrounded by vivid, swaying trees, colorful plants, and some well-trimmed grass. It was clearly given more privilege than I was. But, I'm the one who gave it to this park. And to the others. As I breathe in, it's... just has that nice feeling...
But... I can't see it all in one way. I can't! I see both! Ruins of a city, and a prosperous one. I just can't!!! I looked down the railing in disbelief, and I saw people lying down there, just relaxing on the grass. In one part of my mind, they're corpses of this war that I've done, and in the other one, my progress here in this world. Remilitarization... can't get rid of that name. The war that couldn't be erased.
Looking at some couples down the street, I'm not really that interested in love. It just brings me down, nothing that it could offer. It's a sacrifice of time for someone that I would eventually break up with. However, when I was first introduced to this new world, I met someone who changed me as a whole. They gave me the life I've always thought I could never have. But inside of this girl, they're not seeing that. It's the one who's done a ton of horrible things... both in this world and on Earth. I... can't get rid of it. Even with these abilities that I have, I... still can't... forget it.