Chapter 10

"Are you okay?" "yeah mom I am okay." Honey I know you, you aren't really sick are you?

When you get sick you complain about how everything hurts and I never hear the end of it oh and you are much kinder"

"Haha, funny"

"Glad to see you smile, I'll take you home, I already saw Ms Smith in the reception."

My mom and I are walking to the car in silence. I feel happy and comforted by her. She is usually a whole lot more strict but she loves me. If she knew about Nick she'd kill me and bring me back to clean the mess.

We got into the car and she drove off with same silence between us. It's not in any way hostile but I can tell that she'll tell me an earful once I get better.

"I'm okay. If you are worried about school don't be, I will catch up on the work I missed. It's not a lot, I'll even make sure that I am ahead of the class just to be safe."

I sound like the typical teen trying to get herself out of trouble by using school and it seems to be working.

"So ice cream?"

"And two milkshakes?"

"Don't push it Ashley!"

She gives me smile and she drives us to the ice cream pallor. Maggie's ice cream pallor to be exact.

My head feels like it's spinning. Just as I was about to forget what happened between Nick and I and the fact that Robin might know the details of my not-so-relationship with Nick is killing me.

Maybe Robin knows nothing maybe they know each other I mean we took pictures together and he probably posted them. I'm trying to think of the best case scenario here and it's not working for me.

*hope you are okay. Thank you but next time take my advice.*

Kylie texted.

I was hoping what happened was a dream - felt like it at least. I do not want to talk about it but I think she might be blaming herself for what happened. I added more stress on top of the stress she already has.

*I am. I hope you are okay too more than I am, that is. See you tomorrow morning?*

*yea I'm still in class remember?*

I feel selfish. The attention has shifted from the victim of this whole ordeal and as somewhat kind as she is - she is worried about me. However she blamed me during the first few hours of her unfounded fame. I'd say we're even now. I still feel selfish probably because she has a sweet spot in my heart like she is family.

I wish I enrolled for a private school the moment my dad suggested it but I wanted to make friends and not only talk about polo and everything else I believed rich kids talked about. I probably would not had time to interact with everyone else because I would have had a lot of extra mural activities to be focusing on every one else. I may sound like a potentially rich brat but it's true and in all honesty it surely would not have come from a bad place. Or I should have just stayed away from everyone and I would have been. Even if I wanted to change school, I would not be able to because one they seem to have financial issues they won't tell me about and two it's too late.

I need my senior year over as in yesterday. At this rate I'll be attending college abroad just to get away from everything maybe when I come back during the first school break I will be a changed person. Maybe "running away" will allow for things to put themselves in place and I'll hopefully come back to a better place as a better person. If it's meant to be it'll be, right?

Every minute that passes by in life leaves me doubting myself and feeling worthless. Nick then Robin. I want to be wanted and enough. I want to run away.