I shall feel

It's crazy - this feeling. It's agonising at best. You think you feel something and it's hectic. You feel like you're losing your mind at best. I keep checking my phone. Texting as soon as I can only keep you by me. I look up your stories, think about you and I'm convinced it's the least I could do.

I laugh and think about you. I read and think about you. I sing and think about you. I write and think about you. You, that's all it is, you.

I only want to talk to you, look at you, think about you.

Did I mention that it brings me to tears, I fear that it could never be. Don't worry I'll replace you when you, not if. When you don't feel the same about me, they always do. I'm okay with that so I'll enjoy this moment of bliss and keep you to myself. I never did that before, it doesn't guarantee a difference in the usual outcome but it keeps my dignity intact in the face of the earth.