Between The Light

{3 years ago}

"You know there's no going back on this, right?" I gently started.

Azure eyes - the same shade as mine - looked at me with both exasperation and sadness. It was practically the same question I had asked over a dozen times before we even arrived to the airport, only changing in structure and word choice with each time I said it.

"Caules, just because I'm leaving doesn't mean I'm going away for good." Fiore said, her soft voice always lightening up my mood even now. "You can always find the time to visit me, you know."

"Can." I echoed with a sarcastic edge, but a slip of embarrassment couldn't help but slide off on my tongue, "I'm going to be really busy from here on out, Fi'. I still don't know yet, if time is something I can spare."

Too many things ahead. Too few ways to prepare.

Having some of the best circuits in the world, bar the noble Barthomeloi family, meant jack shit when even a stray bullet can kill me. And with the supernatural world being the way it is, the road to power was paved with blood, belief, and loopholes that have yet to be discovered.

It normally took decades of research and deciphering of Mysteries to be called a first-rate Magus, but I didn't have the time nor was that even my goal.

6 years was the current timeframe I had.

I could only hope it would be enough.

Fiore hummed softly, "A bit sad, but I can't deny that it's true. It's okay if you can't find time for me, just… just make sure you stay safe there."

Crap. No. I refuse to see her this down. 

"I will. Well, even if I have to take a plane, I can try to make the time. It's not unusual anyway for Magi to go on month long breaks; if the homework is plenty, then it just is. You're obviously more important than some mountain of parchment." 

Crisis averted. Embarrassment struck a slight red shade on her face, just like the light slap that struck my arm.

I wore a small shameless smile.

She responded, "N-no, really, you don't have to do that. Go take the chance. Learn what I can't, cast what I couldn't; go be a Magus. I…"

The next line came as a whisper, "I know I would."

My smile didn't dim, because I knew that here and now, where our roles were actually reversed, I would do the same. 

"…I'm sorry. That's just selfish of me, isn't it." She said as a statement to herself, rather than a question to me.

I grabbed her hand in mine, a gentle grasp as my firm gaze met her own, "And you know what? That's okay. You're allowed to be selfish, to take what you want and leave the bad things behind."

"But then you'd just be a victim of consequence in the end." She retorted.

"True, but you already know enough about the results of action and reaction, to make your own choices wisely."

"So, equivalent exchange?" She pointed out my implication.

I snorted, "More 'exchange' than 'equivalent'. We both know that 'rule' is almost as dead as the era's magic."

We talked a bit more, easing up on mystical topics as a whole. 

The skies would be clear for her departure. The people milling about, unaware of the notice-me-not spell on my bracelet, would just pass us by. 

Stories were exchanged. Like that one time she was called a pretty mermaid by that carnival booth lady, back when she was curious about going outside, and when I was just really cooped up in our family's manor. Or when I used to tell her the tales of children's stories, all while using our Magecraft to summon an ethereal cinema of how they played out.

Father wasn't particularly amused by my lackadaisical use of the craft for the latter part, but I didn't care then as I didn't care now.

And I would've had more time if not for a certain artificial brunette that interrupted us.

"Miss Forvedge, our boarding is scheduled in the next ten minutes." The female homunculus said, ruby-like eyes stared back at me, a gaze as robotic as her uniformed posture.

This was who I was entrusting my sister to for the next 8 years, the entire length of her projected lifespan.

She was the best I could get, in turn for a favour from uncle Gordes - the best alchemist of Yggdramillennia. A combat model with average quality circuits, an intermediate repertoire of spells ingrained in her mind, and peak human physicality was the most effective unit he could offer without exchanging more of the homunculus' already short lifespan. 

It was a good deal, all things considered.

"I'll be there in a minute, Grisel." Fiore replied.

"So this is a 'see you later', then?" I asked with a casual tone and a sad smile.

Honestly, that was as much as I was willing to show her without getting teary eyed and dramatic. It would be an embarrassing scene otherwise.

"Yeah… yeah, I guess it is." She repeated herself with force and resolve.

I raised my arms in an open gesture, "One last hug for road - uh, one last hug for the sky?"

She snorted, "Of course you would."

"Come on now, it's my last chance to be clingy before you head out." I pouted like the 12 year old man I was.

"Sure, sure."

Glomping each other into an embrace, it only struck me now about how surreal the action was.

How long had I imagined about how she would be in that wheelchair for the rest of her future? How tireless were that little boy's nights as he went through trials and so many errors, just to find a way to fix a soul that exchanged great power for her ability to walk?

Yet here she was, standing on her own two feet and…

And the only thing I could feel at that moment was relief.

"Hey, Cal?" 

"Yeah?" 

The hug ended, and the next thing I saw was her expression of hesitance.

"You said…that I'm allowed to be selfish, right?" My sister asked in a low voice, almost ashamed at something she was about to say.

I nodded, hiding my confusion with straight resolution etched on my face.

"Then, can you me promise me something? Just this one thing - it's all I'd ask of you. Can you do that?"

"If it's within my ability to do so, then yes, I will." I told her.

This time, she took my hand in hers, grasping it with two tight grips while I let my hand take the pressure.

"Become the best for me - the best of yourself, the best of your ability, the best…the best mage that you can be. Do it in my place, for your sister's selfish wish. Can you promise me that?" Her eyes settled on the hand she was unintentionally crushing, but I still saw the shame in her gaze.

And so I decided, that even people as selfish as us,

Can still hold the hopes of others as our own.

The pain in my hand was ignored, and the heat of circuits surged forth as my soul burned in resolve.

I returned a firm grasp as I swore to the both of us.

"I promise."

~•~•~

AN: Update schedule? What's that?