Hypnagogia

Laura pov

"It's been three days Doctor! She isn't engaging at all. She's almost catatonic, and when she does appear to sleep it is anything but restful. She hasn't eaten. What's wrong with her? Is she going to recover?" I question.

Mr Martin, Sydney's consultant is standing directly opposite me, arms folded across his chest, theatre hat and scrubs hanging loosely on his tall wiry frame, nodding as I speak.

"She's suffered some serious trauma, both physical and emotional, and her body and mind need rest. Trauma can cause your brain to remain in a state of hyper vigilance, suppressing your memory and impulse control and trapping you in a constant state of strong emotional reactivity.

I believe she is experiencing Hypnagogia, which is a medical term for wakeful dreaming. Some mental phenomena that may occur during this phase include auditory and visual hallucinations and physical sensations. Perhaps the most common experience of this kind is the falling sensation encountered by many people, at least occasionally, while drifting off to sleep.

Sleep is important to allow her mind to process recent events and for her body to heal, but these disturbances can be incredibly vivid and distressing. We have to be gentle with her, encouraging and supportive, but I think it's best we only talk about the subjects she brings up with us, so as not to overwhelm her" he tells me

"So does that explain the screaming in her sleep, the thrashing around and crying? Is she really reliving everything over and over again?"

He continues to explain a little more about how the brain processes information. I imagine he is a very good mentor and teacher, he is clearly passionate about his specialty and seems keen for me to fully understand what's going on with Syd.

Just as he reaches for a pad and pen from his pocket and makes the first few strokes of a diagram on the page she begins to whimper, her limbs twitching, her head shaking from side to side.

I look to the Dr for reassurance and he gestures towards her and nods, suggesting I try to gently coax her from this episode with some soothing words and soft touches.

Nerves overwhelm me and I'm shocked to find that I am actually scared to touch her, concern obviously clear on my face as Mr Martin smiles encouragingly at me and again suggests I try soothing her.

Reaching out towards her, her brow wet with perspiration, I begin to move damp tendrils of hair back from her face, softly repeating her name and continue to stroke her head.

She becomes less rigid, and even smiles despite her eyes remaining closed.

I relax a little and pull a chair up closer to her side, continuing to stroke her hair and pacify her, feeling more confident in my ability to help.

Watching her face carefully for any clues as to what she is experiencing I feel compelled to lean forward and kiss her head.

Immediately she squeezes her eyes tightly shut, her breath coming in short sharp gasps as she throws her arms out ahead of her, sheer terror written across her bruised face.

She kicks her legs strongly and with intent, screaming incoherent nonsense in the main, although some words are clear. She is calling for her mum and dad.... and Yanni. Over and over again she calls for him, tears sliding down her face onto the pillow under her sweat soaked head.

Mr Martin reaches over and places his hands softly on her upper arms in an attempt to limit her movements, worried she may do some physical harm to herself in this state.

She again begins to still and I release a breath that I didn't even realise I was holding.

"SYDDIE!! Syd.... it's ok, it's me, Laura! You're safe..... it's ok, you're in the hospital.... sssshhhhhhh, calm down Syd, open your eyes...."

She remains silent and still, her breathing slowing down to a more sustainable and regular rate.

"You we're having a nightmare sweets.... it's ok" I soothe, stroking her head and smiling at her.

She visibly relaxes and I feel relief wash over me.

Mr Martin smiles and excuses himself from the room with a Curt nod and a promise to come by and check on her later, just as Noah enters the room.

"Hi Laura, how is she doing?" he mutters from the doorway, his head bandaged, his right eye swollen and a vibrant aubergine in colour.

"Come in Noah. She's ok.... her physical wounds are actually healing fairly well. I can't say the same for her emotional state though. She is still not here fully even when she is awake, and she is having some serious sleep terrors whenever she manages to drift off" I inform him sadly, the realisation that she may never recover heartbreaking. I need my friend.

He moves a chair to sit beside me and places his hand out, palm up, and wiggles his fingers. An invitation to hold his hand that I readily accept, grateful for the contact. I could use the comfort.

This is the most horrendous case I've ever been involved in, and obviously the fact that my best friend is the victim has exacerbated those feelings, but even so, I am questioning my ability to deal with the horrors that people inflict on each other, and my role within the police force.

The magnitude of this whole situation hits me like a bus. Fat, heavy tears begin to fall from my eyes into my lap. I'm usually very strong, stoic, and good at keeping my emotions in check but this time I can't control the feelings and my shoulders shudder with the force of my sobs.

Noah places his arm around my shoulder in a gesture all too alien to me. I am the comforter, the protector, I don't show weakness easily, but I welcome his embrace. It's calming, and warm, and needed!!

"She'll be right Laura. It might take a while, but she will be ok. We'll all look after her. You know, you should take some leave and come back to Oz with us for a break. I'm sure she would love that" he suggests, a hopeful tone to his voice.

"I don't think I can Noah, there's still far too much to do for this case. It needs to be watertight, no room for error. Those bastards need to pay for what they've done. I want to be involved in ensuring that they do" I reply with far more venom that intended.

"Besides, I don't know if Syd will want to go back to Australia after everything that's happened. She may choose to stay here with her parents. We need to get statements, the Lola Livingstone case is still ongoing and she is needed to help them with their enquiries too."

Sydney chooses that moment to start thrashing and screaming again, shocking a small yelp from my lips. I stand and place my hand on her cheek and again attempt to ease her panic with calming words. She cries, huge wracking sobs that shake her entire being, violently shaking her head and crying, the word 'No' falling repeatedly from her lips as she does.

I cannot begin to imagine how she is going to get through the next few months, having to recall all that has happened. Finding  out who THE SIX are is going to blind side her, there'll be a trial, or maybe 7 if they choose to be tried separately. I pray that they all take a plea deal to spare her the ordeal of testifying in court, which I'm sure they will. None of them will want to have their reputations dragged through the mud in a court case... what's going on in the media has almost completely ruined them all already.

Sydney opens her eyes and looks directly into mine, searching for something. She seems confused, as if in a daze, eyes fixed on mine .

"Harry got away... and Yanni is de... de...." she whispers, eyes wide, terror and sadness on her pale and sallow face.

"No Syd! Harry was arrested along with everyone else , I promise you! I put the cuffs on him myself. You're safe" I soothe. I've never felt more useless, or homicidal. Harry better pray he does get locked up for life!!

Sydney is staring off into space, lost in her own mind as she often is, no doubt processing the news that she is now really safe. She remains like that for what feels like an eternity but is in fact only a minute or two before she turns towards me. I smile reassuringly at her and gently rub her arm, telling her I love her. The corners of her mouth twitch upward in an attempt at a smile of her own but goes no further. It is going to be a long road ahead, trying to put her back together again. It was hard enough after she left Harry the first time.

I'm roused from my thoughts when I hear Sydney speak, tearfully uttering just 6 words.....

"I need to see his body"

"Whose body Syd?" I probe carefully

"Yanni's. I need to see him... please" she pleads

"What are you talking about Syddie, Yanni is recovering well, as a matter of fact he is in the room next door. Why on Earth did you think he was dead?"

"Because you told me he was!!! He's not?! HES NOT!??

Oh my God... I need to see him, right now!!" she insists and begins the painful fight to get out of bed to go and see for herself that he is alive..... and almost well.