Chapter 9

An opportunity to drag Chen to the gym arises about a week later. During that week I discover that Josh is right, Chen is pretty quiet and well behaved. However, sometimes he's too quiet. Whenever he doesn't have a class or event for the literary club, he's holed up in his room typing away. Even I, finishing up my business analyses and papers, get out of the house more than him.

It's Tuesday and my final class of the day ends at 3:30. I groan. The semester's almost over and the professor still decided to assign us a pile of homework. Furthermore, I left my gym clothes at home so I have to waste 30 minutes making a trip there and back. I get into my car and head out, honking at everything that moves. The minute I arrive, I open the door and...fall short. Chen is perched on the countertop munching away at a bag of Fritos with his eyes closed.

"Um...Chen?" His lashes flicker and his eyes open, his gaze slowly coming to rest on me.

"What are you doing?" I ask. He blinks.

"I don't know." I scratch the back of my head.

"Why are you up there?"

"I don't know." His gaze is sleepy and dazed. I feel my scalp prickle with irritation.

"Dude, what the heck are you doing on the counter? Get down from there." He blinks at me, then sluggishly hops down before grabbing another ship. Crunch. My head throbs. I close my eyes. Crunch, crunch, crun-

"Okay that's it."

"Huh?"

"Do you have any other classes today? Any signing events? Anything?" He thinks for a moment.

"No."

"Okay, you're coming with me to the gym."

"Wha-" I grab him and drag him along to his room. Seven minutes later we're all geared up and in the car. Chen is still blinking his sleepy eyes.

As we drive he yawns widely. Several moments later he yawns again. Then again.

"Hey, what's going on with you?" I inquire, glancing to the side.

"...sleepy."

"I can see that." He blinks, no doubt trying to gain his bearings.

"I pulled an all-nighter."

"Why?"

"Three chapters."

"You wrote three chapters?"

"Yeah." I glance at him yawning for the nth time.

"Well, this should wake you up. We're here."

I park then we head inside where I scan my card at the desk. The lady sitting there seems even sleepier than Chen. After checking in, we head up to the fitness area and I make for the weights, pulling Chen along with me.

"Let's see...you want to start with 25 pounds?" I grab a pair of dumbbells and hand them to him. He blinks, still looking completely bewildered about how he ended up here. He subconsciously reaches out to accept the dumbbell...then pitches forward, nearly dropping it. I snicker.

"Hey!"

"Sorry-haha, sorry, sorry. I guess that was too heavy for you-haha."

"No! I just wasn't prepared!" Chen pouts.

"Alright here, let's switch it out." I reach towards him to take it back.

"No way! I'll use this. I can use this, I just wasn't prepared!"

"Alright, alright, if you say so...but if it's really too heavy for you it could cause an injury."

"It's not!"

"Alright then." I shrug. "So, first you-" Before I finish my sentence Chen heaves the weights up into the air and his back curves into a huge arc as he does so.

"Oi, wait-not like that! You'll injure-"

"MY BACK, OWW!!!"

"...your back." I take the dumbbells from him pressing my lips together to stem the accumulating laughter.

"Here, try this." He looks at the number glumly and pouts. Another snicker escapes my lips.

"Just 10 pounds?"

"It's fine, a lot of people start with 10. There's nothing wrong with it." He pouts even harder and I bend over as my laughter bursts out.

"So what do I do now???" He demands, holding up the weights. I look up. He's still pouting but now his face is flushed. Are the ten pound ones also too heavy?

"Okay, so we can start with squats to press up, then bicep curls, then..."

As I crunch out several sets Chen tries to follow along.

"Look at this, I'm a bodybuilder!" He flexes his arm. Then speeds up, pressing the weights up with momentum.

"Hey, don't overdo it-" My words prove to be prophetic and after two sets of twelve Chen has flopped down on the nearby bench press implement.

"I can't do it anymore! How do you keep doing this stuff?" He looks up at my arms, then his eyes widen to the size of saucers. "Woha, you have actual muscles! He leaps up and scampers towards me, his eyes fixed on my bulging biceps. "Damn..."

"You want to touch?" I ask with a laugh. He freezes, his ears and cheeks mirroring a ripe peach. I freeze too, my laugh drifting off. Why did he stop like that? Damn, why did I stop like that? What is this? Come on this is so-

"Sure!"

"Huh?" Before I have time to process Chen reaches out to touch my arm. His fingers are light, grazing over my arm, soft as a feather. His fingers are long and slender, his nails are tiny little pink crescents. His hand is softer than mine. All of a sudden his fingers press down on my bicep and I feel a tingle run up my arm. I blink and tug my arm from his hands.

"Hey, want to try something else? You can use that machine to row like this." I point it out and Chen scampers over, his eyes alight.

"Really? How?"

"Just sit here and..."

Some thirty minutes later, I leave Chen occupied by the exercise balls and make my way over to the treadmill for my habitual end of workout run. I pick one out and press start. I begin walking as I contemplate what I want to do today. Do I want an incline? Or should I just focus on speed? What pace? Well, timewise...

"Hey, man." I glance up.

"Oh, hey George." He scrutinizes me.

"That a friend of yours?" He gestures towards Chen.

"Huh? Oh yeah."

"He's gay?" I trip, nearly falling on my face.

"Um...why would you..."

"You can tell with those types." He nods knowingly.

"Uh...okay."

"Be careful with them. A handsome guy like you..."

"Um, I..." Is he homophobic?

"That's why you'd better get a girlfriend fast..."

"I..."

"Tch, tch, tch, really I'm telling you to watch out-"

"Excuse me." He blinks, pausing mid sentence.

"George, I appreciate you trying to look out for me but I'm not comfortable with you describing my friend like that, whether he's gay or not." I look him directly in the eye." He blinks, stunned. Then, suddenly a knowing smile spreads across his face.

"Ohhhhhhh, I got it! So, you're into that type, is it?"

"...huh?"

"No wonder you weren't interested in my advice about girls! Ok, ok, I got it. I won't say anything." He makes a lips zipped motion, then he lifts his hand to pat my shoulder. However, just as he's about to make contact he freezes before awkwardly moving his hand back. With a slightly awkward smile he pats the bicycle seat next to him instead.

"Well...good luck then! Oh, I should get going, look at the time!" He vaguely gestures towards the clock and makes his retreat. I stand there, mouth opening and closing. Then, I sigh.

"Hey Ram?" I turn around, it's Chen.

"Hmm?"

"How much longer are you going to be?" I gaze at him, his fluffy dark hair, large soulful eyes, his pearly white face, head slightly tilted. I sigh again.

"Ram?"

"What? Uh, maybe thirty minutes?" Chen pouts, then he comes to the bicycle George occupied mere moments ago.

"I guess I'll bike then."

"Yeah, sure."

We move on our various implements in silence. My eyes gaze at the back of Chen's head. After a few moments of silence I open my mouth to speak.

"Chen?"

"Yeah."

"Do people ever, like, say things to you about you being gay? No I mean-" He pauses in his pedaling.

"Yeah."

"And, and are you okay showing it? Like being so open about it?" He doesn't answer for several moments. Idiot, why are you asking that? Then, I suddenly hear him speak.

"...I don't know about showing it. I mean, I'm not trying to or trying not to. What can I do? This is just me."

We don't speak much for the rest of the thirty minutes however those few words ring in my head:

what can I do? This is just me.