69

Taehyung

Sleepily, my eyes blinked open.

My vision was blurred and I tumbled over the edge of consciousness. My eyes finally adjusted to the glaring sunlight a few seconds later.

Jungkook was still wrapped in my arms, his body anchored into mine.

I stayed frozen for a second, too scared to move.

My throat felt suddenly dry, I swallowed past the lump forming there. I pressed my hand more firmly into his body. The towel had fallen away and I was now skin to skin with his belly.

I stared at the contrast of my hand over his skin, my hand was big and rough, my palm taking about the entirety of his stomach.

While even bruised, he radiated beauty.

I was still staring at Jungkook and I instinctively started to rub small circles on his skin. I was snapped out of my thoughts when he slightly moved, pulling my hand away, I shook my head and looked up.

My heart stuttered and I swore it stopped for a second.

Beautiful brown eyes stared back at me, I stared back, trying to catch my breath.

For so long, I wanted to look into those eyes.

And now I was.

My lips wobbled into a small smile and I sat up, leaning forward into him.

Jungkook's eyes were a glimmer colour of chocolate diamonds. They sparkled brighter in the light of the morning sun. His black hair was splayed across the pillows as he blinked sleepily at me.

So beautiful.

Jungkook looked like an Angel.

A real Angel.

My Jungkook was back.

I couldn't help but smile as I reached to palm his cheek.

"Jungkook," I croaked, rubbing my thumb over his velvety soft skin, his cherry lips.

"Y… you… ha… ve his eyes."

My eyes widened at his soft croaking voice.

Jungkook was talking!

Then confusion clouded my mind.

"Whose eyes, Angel?"

I waited, but he didn't speak again.

My muscles started to lock in tension.

Jungkook stared and then finally whispered, so soft I barely heard him, "T… Tae… Taehyung."

What?

"Jungkook… what are you talking about? It's me. Taehyung. I am Taehyung."

And then he closed his eyes.

"No. No. No." I panicked, "Angel, open your eyes. C'mon, show me those pretty brown eyes."

It wasn't enough.

I barely saw them.

Jungkook had to stay awake, I had to hear his voice.

I would beg for it if I had to.

I had no shame.

Nothing else mattered.

"Angel," I said, shaking his shoulders, "Please, say something."

Jungkook didn't even stir.

How long was he awake?

Did I miss it?

Was I sleeping the whole time he was awake?

How could I have been so fvcking irresponsible?

This time I wouldn't sleep.

There was no way I would close my eyes again.

My heart raced like the wings of a caged bird.

I did feel caged, it was suffocating.

It felt like I was watching everything from the outside. Jungkook was far away and no matter how much I reached for him, he always ended up fading into the darkness.

Jungkook always faded away, I was left empty.

No!

I took his hand in mine and talked, for hours, I made promises to cherish and take care of him.

I begged for him to wake up.

I begged for forgiveness.

I begged for his love.

I begged.

But no matter how much I cajoled, fussed and pushed, Jungkook never moved or stirred. It was already the next day and Hae-sook came with food but I didn't eat.

I stayed by Jungkook's side, holding him to me, caressing him and hoping he would wake up soon. My men came and went, Seokjin tried to get me to shower, I refused. Hae-sook said she would take care of Jungkook while I rested but I pushed everyone away.

I talked until my throat was completely dry and hurting.

I thought that maybe he would hear my voice and wake up.

Maybe… maybe… so many maybes and I was still hoping.

Even when everything looked so hopeless, I still hoped.

Even when it felt as if I was breaking and being slowly cut from the inside, I still hoped.

Because as long as I had Jungkook in my arms, I could hope.

I was his saviour once.

I would be his saviour again.

My chest burned, and I rubbed a hand over my heart in frustration. Feeling, emotions, the heart - they were such a weakness.

I chuckled dryly and leaned my head against the headboard.

It was too late now.

There was no going back.

I now understood what Seung Won and Hae-jin meant.

Mindlessly, I rubbed a hand over Jungkook's arm, looking down at his sleeping form, I saw him slowly stirring. His forehead creased, lips twitched. I sat forward, my heart beating wildly. My hands started to shake and sweat broke out on my forehead.

"Angel," I whispered as he roused from his long hours of sleep.

Jungkook blinked his eyes open, sleepily at first, then finally he was fully awake.

We stared at each other and just like the very first time my eyes had met his, my heart stuttered and my stomach tightened in knots. I could have flipped in joy and screamed from the top of my lungs.

I leaned forward and kissed his forehead, "My Jungkook. My beautiful Angel." I peppered his face with kisses and smiled.

When Jungkook didn't move, my eyebrows furrowed tensely and I pulled back.

I quickly lost my smile.

Realization finally dawned that he still hadn't responded to me.

"Jungkook?" I said, touching his cheek and running a finger along his chapped lips.

There was no recognition in his brown doe eyes.

I suddenly felt sick.

My angel still hadn't uttered a word.

No, Jungkook just stared.

I knew he wasn't seeing me.

Jungkook just stared into space without saying anything. I wasn't even sure if he understood what was happening, I spent a few minutes trying to bring him back.

It was no use.

"Jungkook," I whispered, "It's me. Taehyung."

Nothing.

And that was the moment my heart shattered.

Jungkook only stared blankly at me, his face was completely devoid of emotion, his eyes lacking the light that had always been there.

His warm brown eyes were empty.

I was wrong.

I finally had Jungkook in my arms, he was safe.

Jungkook was with me - but he wasn't here.

My Angel was gone.

In his place was an empty shell.