74

Taehyung

I felt Jungkook shift in my arms.

Opening my eyes, with my vision still clouded with sleep, I stared down at him. He sighed almost sleepily and burrowed deeper into my embrace.

He was sleeping peacefully, a contradicting image after the nightmare he had just a few hours ago. It had been a few days since he spoke and nightmares had plagued his sleep every night since then.

Jungkook was feeling again.

His emotions were small, almost invisible but there.

The nightmares were proof of that.

Jungkook thought staying numb would be better, without realizing that he was slowly destroying himself by not feeling anything.

My angel had to let it out.

I wasn't stopping until I broke every wall around his heart.

"Good morning, Angel," I whispered in his ear.

Placing a kiss there, I pushed myself on my elbows, he sighed and blinked his eyes open.

Jungkook stared at me blankly for a moment and then closed his eyes again, refusing to acknowledge me.

Like every day.

Kitten.

How innocent.

Jungkook seemed to have forgotten that I was a stubborn fvcker. He could fight me all he wanted but I would win in the end.

I won before.

I was going to win again.

"It's already late. You need to wake up and eat," I pushed, kissing him on the nose.

I noticed his wrinkling nose, he opened his eyes again.

Jungkook moved out of my embrace and struggled to sit up. Placing an arm behind his back, I helped him in a sitting position. He tried to shift away from my hand but I pressed it more firmly against him.

Sometimes he would show subtle emotions, but they would quickly be gone.

He was fighting himself.

I guessed I had to fight him too.

I moved quickly then, surprising even myself.

I was always patient.

It looked like my patience was slowly running out.

Shifting myself over Jungkook, my thighs on either side of his hips, I moved my face closer to him. His eyes widened in shock. I saw him swallow hard, his gaze moved slowly over my face.

There it was.

Finally, an emotion.

I palmed his cheeks gently, our noses touching slightly.

"Come back to me, Angel. I'm waiting for you. Let me help you. Give me a chance to make you whole again. Give us a chance. Fight for us."

He closed his eyes.

Stubborn man.

"Jungkook, open your eyes," his eyes snapped open, "I told you before and I will tell you again. Don't look away from me. I want your eyes on me. Looking at me. Seeing me. Only me, Jungkook."

I didn't miss how his breath caught in his throat and how he stared at me with wide eyes. Jungkook licked his lips and tried to look away. I noticed his hands rubbing his arms, almost angrily. They were shaking and when I looked at his face, I saw that he looked lost and scared.

Jungkook seemed agitated.

Fvck!

I pushed too hard.

"Angel," I murmured, kissing the corner of his mouth. "If you don't talk to me, I can't help you. And I want to help you."

Jungkook blinked several times, he turned his head toward me, a look of astonishment on his face. He cocked his head to the side as if waiting for me to continue. I felt my own eyes widen. I had said those words to him before.

My heart clenched at the possibility of his remembering.

My hands shook as I caressed his cheeks.

"You are worth more than you think," I whispered. I pressed our foreheads together, holding his to me, "You bring happiness to others. You bring light, my Angel. You changed me. You made me feel. I didn't realize I was letting the shadow control me all this time. Not until you came into my life. You bring me light. Just like a true Angel."

So many months ago, I had said those exact words to him. And now I whispered it again, hoping it would make yet another difference.

I was weak before.

When he had cut himself and I had said those words to him, I kept my true feelings hidden. I had refused to tell him the truth I told him now.

But things had changed since then.

I had changed.

Now I was going to rewrite our history.

With a sigh, I moved off him. He exhaled loudly, the comforter fisted tightly in his hands. I placed my hand right next to him. they were inches away.

So close yet not touching.

"Can I touch you?"

My angel's gaze moved to our hands, he didn't respond.

I knew he wouldn't.

"Can I hold your hand?"

Jungkook opened his mouth, he gasped for breath. His head snapped up, his startled eyes meeting mine. It felt like my chest was being wrenched open when I saw tears forming in his eyes. He looked down at our hands.

So close.

I wanted to touch him.

I knew I could if I wanted.

But I didn't move.

I waited for him.

Jungkook's tears didn't fall.

He swallowed several times before moving his hand over his arms, giving me my answer.

It was such a déjà vu moment.

I chuckled under my breath.

"Okay. So this is how you're going to play," I moved to my knees until our faces were almost touching, "I'll play your game then," I continued, "I won't touch you. Not until you ask me to."

I could almost see the memory flashing behind his eyes.

The way his lips parted in surprise, gave him away.

"I won't touch you. Not until you beg me for it," I finished, my voice low and deliberately seductive.

We were about to go back to the beginning.

Jungkook flinched before he closed his eyes tightly. I was tempted to take him in my arms and hold him close.

Take away all his pain.

Keep his nightmares away but I had been doing this for weeks.

It didn't make much of a difference.

So we were going to play it another way.

"Hae-sook will bring our breakfast. After I feed you, I have to take care of some things. I won't be far, though," I explained.

This was almost a routine after his panic attack, I explained to him what I was doing and where I was going. It was to keep his mind at ease, to let him know I was always there.

Walking away from the bed, I peeked at the full-length mirror, watching Jungkook closely. He got out of bed and followed me into the bathroom.

Good.

He was slowly doing things on his own.

I brushed my teeth, and he copied me.

We washed our faces, and while I changed, he kept my big shirt on.

The breakfast tray was already waiting for us when we walked out of the bathroom. Jungkook sat on his side of the bed, waiting. Placing the tray between us, I fed his small bites while I ate too. I didn't speak. Jungkook stared at me, confused, but never uttered a word. When a knock sounded on the door, I got off the bed.

"That must be Jimin," I muttered to Jungkook.

"Come in," I called out, putting on my suit jacket.

Jimin walked in and smiled at Jungkook.

"Are you ready for the tour?" he asked, looking at Jungkook expectantly. Not that Jungkook ever replied, "I can take you to the back garden today," Jimin continued, helping Jungkook out of bed.

After Jungkook's panic attack, Jimin thought it would be good to help Jungkook become familiar with the estate again.

Jungkook looked back at me, waiting for my reply.

He always did that.

Asking for my permission.

If I said yes, he would go.

If I said no, he never said anything but would stay in the room.

Not anymore.

"Do you want to go with Jimin?" I asked.

I saw his eyebrows furrow in question, his hands trembling at his side.

C'mon, Angel.

Don't be scared.

I will be there to catch you if you fall.

"Jungkook, do you want to see the back garden with Jimin?" I pushed.

My angel stayed quiet but I saw his breathing had accelerated. Jimin looked at me, worried, I stayed focused on the beautiful Angel in front of me.

He stared at me, Jungkook took a deep breath, his gaze never moving away from mine. It was like he was taking his courage from me.

Like I gave him strength.

I smiled encouragingly, staring into my eyes, he gave a small nod.

Fvck yeah!

I wanted to scream, throw my hands in the air and jump.

Jungkook did it!

Holding my fist against my pressed lips, I cleared my throat, the emotions were overflowing.

"I will be in my office. Enjoy your day with Jimin. He will take good care of you," I said.

He nodded again.

This time, it was impossible to hold the smile.

Giving Jimin a nod, I walked out of the room. Taking my phone out of my pocket, I called the one person I knew would be able to help me.

"What is it?" the voice answered.

"Seokjin, I need you in my office."

"I'll be there," he replied then hung up.

Namjoon and Seokjin were already waiting for me outside of my office. I nodded at them and followed inside.

"What are Seung-won and Hae-jin doing?" I asked.

"The businesses are running smoothly. Surprisingly. It looks like they haven't lost their touch yet," Seokjin grumbled.

"That's good." I nodded.

I knew they would keep everything in line.

"The women at the clubs?"

"With Byungchan out of the country and his men hiding, we have full control over the clubs. Even the ones that belong to him. Under strict orders from Seung-won, the women are being treated fairly," Namjoon replied.

"Those who have been abused intensively are under care," Seokjin added, "If only we had Byungchan in our hands. He's the only fvcking problem now."

"Any news from him?" I questioned, sitting back against my chair.

They shook their heads mutely.

"I need answers!" I bellowed, "The information from the Mins led us to a dead end. It brought us nothing!"

They said Byungchan was hiding in Canada, by the time my men reached there he was already gone. Byungchan was smart. He never stayed in one place, he moved every few days and left no tracks behind. It was almost impossible to track him down.

"We are doing everything we can, Taehyung," Seokjin muttered. He ran his hand over his face in frustration. "But don't forget. We might be powerful but he is just as powerful, especially being backed by the Mexican cartel. They have connections everywhere. When a jopok wants to go off-grid, it is impossible to find him. You know that better than anyone. Seung-won and Hae-jin pulled it off. You did it too once."

"I don't care who he is or what he's doing. All I know is that as long as he is alive, Jungkook is not safe. I need him dead. I need his blood on my hands. Until then, I won't rest," I growled dangerously.

"We aren't stopping until we find him. Hoseok said he has some information too. I'm going there tomorrow. We'll see what he has and how it can help us," Namjoon added.

"Good," I muttered.

"What do you want to do with Yoongi and Jihoon?" Seokjin asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

At the mention of Yoongi, a sudden surge of fury coursed through me. I held the table tightly until

my knuckles turned white.

"Keep them alive," I gritted out, "I need them alive until Byungchan is found."

Seokjin shook his head, "Are you sure? Yoongi is practically dead. So is Jihoon."

"I don't care how you do it. I need them alive. When Byungchan is found, I will finish them all together. Like a little family reunion. I'm sure they will like it," I growled.

Taking a deep breath, I released the table from my grasp, "After all, I'm not done with them yet. They haven't spilt enough blood. Their pain is not even half of what Jungkook has had to go through," I looked directly at Seokjin, "By the time I'm done with them, they won't even be able to beg me to kill them. Not even if they wanted to."

I saw Seokjin raise an eyebrow at me, he smiled almost sadistically, "Now that's what I like to hear. I almost thought you were going soft. Looks like I was mistaken. You are still a crazy fvcker."

I shook my head at his stupid assumption, "I will always be one."

Before he could say anything else, I changed the topic.

I didn't want to be reminded of who I was.

Of what I had done.

I was a monster.

I have killed without any remorse.

I didn't care.

What always worried me was… what would Jungkook think of me?

When he found out what I had done to get to him?

"Is there anything else?" I asked quickly, trying to clear my thoughts.

Namjoon nodded and spoke of all the things I had missed while taking care of Jungkook. Seungwon and Hae-jin had been able to take care of things I had almost ruined. He paused when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," I called out.