Deep feelings

"Mu- Murderer...?"

Marcia did not say anything else. She simply waited to see how I would react.

I was hoping that she would add something else, maybe saying that they were under some strange circumstances or something... But was that really it? She's just gonna call the voice in my head a murderer and leave it like that?

"This... This can't be right... She saved me! She saved us! Right? There is no way she would do something like trying to kill aunt Evlin!!"

Marica remained silent for a moment and started to talk again after releasing a small sigh, "You can ask her yourself if you want..."

"What?"

"The thing is... This is just something I heard from our parents a long time ago... About how her magic ended up coming to life and tried to destroy her body...

But it's just like you said... She also saved us... When we were being chased by your mother, she lent her power to allow us to escape... And when Ellie attacked, she helped you to fight back..."

That's right! That's right! Termina is on our side! She's one of the good guys!

"But... When you were using her power... Your face was cold as if you couldn't see anything in front of you... And you kept muttering the words 'I'll kill all of them...' over and over..."

"I'm... I'm sure that's being taken out of context!!"

"And if it's not? Are you ready to carry the responsibility for her actions?"

"Ugh!"

She went silent again, and after staring at my eyes for a few seconds trying to read what I was thinking, she finally asked me something else.

"Is it possible for me to talk to her?"

Talk to her?

"When you fought Ellie... That was her speaking, right?"

[...]

"T- Termina...?" I asked to myself.

[I can talk... But I'll need your body for that... Will that be okay?]

"Will it hurt?"

[You will be unable to move, but you will see and hear everything I do.]

Ah! That's what happened when my body moved by itself when I grabbed a sword that my mother threw at us. I guess it won't be so bad then...

"Very well... Go ahead."

I gave her my permission and all of sudden, all control of my limbs started to vanish. I couldn't blink, speak, turn, or anything. It felt like I was watching myself as if I was some kind of outside force pulled my hands up and down.

"I'm here..." my body spoke. It was my voice, but it wasn't me.

Marcia flinched for a moment. She probably wasn't ready for something like this to happen so suddenly.

"Y- You're Termina...?"

"You wanted to talk to me, right? I asked Lance for permission and he granted it to me..."

Marcia glared at me, "Yes, I wanted to talk, but I also think you're a killer and I can't move right now?? Couldn't he have waited to do that after I was able to defend myself???"

Oh... I did not think of that...

"There is no need to worry... I do not have any desire to harm you..." Termina explained. Seeing my own body talk like this was giving me the creeps, "Ask what you wish to know..."

Marcia's expression was troubled, but she didn't really have any choice. I was unable to control myself and she was still weak and wounded. Termina was the only one who had control of the situation right now.

I really did not think this through... If she really is a murderer, there was nothing we could do to stop her right now.

But at the same time... A part of me feels we can trust her.

When I saw her face in the white void place... She didn't look scary... She just seemed lonely...

"Well... Since we're here... Might as well... Did you try to kill aunt Evlin?"

"Yes."

What!!??

"Y- Y- You did!!??"

"Yes."

"W- Why??"

"At the time when I began to grown consciousness of myself... My mother was being hunted by a dragon that feared her power and wanted to end her to secure his survival... He came up with many ways to kill her... Or rather, to kill us, since I was also a part of her... And came very close many times to getting her to perish.

Since I did not wish to die, I tried to break free of my mother so I could go out and face this dragon myself..."

That doesn't seem so bad...

"What do you mean, break free?" Marcia wondered.

"In order to utilize my full power to combat the dragon, I needed to exit my mother's body... And the only way for me to do that was by burning her completely until there was nothing left."

...

"..." Neither Marcia nor I were able to utter any words.

Termina just keep glancing and waiting for someone to say something, but we simply didn't know how to respond to that.

"It didn't work... Obviously..." she added.

Well... Yeah, that goes without saying. After all, aunt Evlin is still alive and kicking.

Which means, Termina tried to kill her, but failed?

"It's as you said Lance..." she comments, after reading my thoughts, "I may have not succeeded in ending my mother's life... But I still attempted to bring her to an end, in order to save myself...

And in the end... I didn't even manage to defeat the dragon..."

"But you did manage to exit her body..." Marcia noted.

"Yes... But I realized only too late that my power alone was not enough to bring me victory..." Termina commented while holding my hand and staring at it, "I always believed that being linked to my mother was a weakness... But in truth, our connection was what made us strong..."

Marcia remained silent and just continued to listen.

"After the dragon brutally defeated me and almost brought me to the end of my existence... My mother, after no longer having me by her side, was forced to rush to her allies, and combined their powers to crush the dragon once and for all."

"Her allies...?"

"The other members of her group... The three strongest users of the three types of energy. Marcus, the strongest blessed energy user. Dia, the strongest cursed energy user. And her niece, Ellie, the strongest magic energy user.

The three of them combined their powers into one, and with Evlin leading them in their fight, managed to achieve the true victory that I failed to obtain...

And as for me... I was once again too weak to survive on my own... But due to my own shame, I couldn't bring myself to ask my mother to accept me once again..."

"Wait..." Marcia gasped, "Is that why you are inside of Lance?? Because you lost a fight after telling your mother that you no longer needed her? All that because of pride??"

"Yes..." Termina did not even try to deny it, "I was my mother's power... And I abandoned her... I had no right to ask anything of her after what I did..."

"But it was okay to ask him? How old was he when all that happened?"

"Three years old..."

Marcia began to glare at Termina, but from my point of view, it felt like she was glaring at me and made me want to hide for a second, but since my body was no longer under my control, nothing happened.

"You asked a three-year-old to take you in?? Right after you tried to kill your own mother??"

"I... Did not ask him..."

"What?"

"He saw me in my near-death state... And offered his hand to help me..." she commented while pressing her... well... my palm, against my chest, "That was the first time I was exposed to a gesture of kindness...

Even in my never-ending shame... I couldn't bring myself to accept my own death if it meant refusing such a gesture..."

"And we are supposed to believe that?? That you joined with him because you wanted to be polite?? And not just to save your own skin??"

"I do not have skin... Nor do I require you to believe me..." Termina stated, sounding a little angry with Marcia's accusation, "My memory of that moment is very important to me. Even if you or the entire world accuse me of lying, it will not change the fact that it is the truth of how our connection was born.

Lance is important to me, and I'll do everything I can to protect him."

Marcia started to hold in her words. She looked like she had a lot she wanted to say, but managed to keep most of it in and simply uttered a few last words.

"Then... Tell me one thing more..."

"..."

"Are you the reason Lance was forced to leave our world?"

...

"I-"

A buzzing sound took over the room right as Termina was about to answer that question.

All three of us looked down and realized that my phone was ringing inside my pocket. Or at least, what was left of my pocket after my clothes got trashed in the fight earlier.

Termina decided to switch back with me and I was once again in control of my arms and legs. I looked at Marcia to let her know I was back but it seemed like she could tell right away from my expression.

I wonder if she was mad that she didn't get to hear the truth.

Termina being the cause of me and my mother having to leave our home and my father? I hadn't even considered that...

Gonna have to come back to that later though, as I picked my phone and notice who was calling me.

After being put under the dragon's curse, all members of my family had my existence erased from their memories according to my talk with Dia. That means, only one person could be calling me right now.

I look at the screen and the name that appeared made me choke for a moment, "Kenny..."

Kenny was calling me. After abandoning me when Kurt was attacking and saying he no longer wanted to see me when I went to his house... He now wanted to talk again.

He's probably the only person on Earth who still knows who I am.

Could it- Could it be he wants to make up and be my friend again?

But... My life is such a mess right now...

Wouldn't it be better to keep my distance from him?

I reject the call and place my phone in my pocket again, sighing to myself.

"What's wrong?" Marcia wonders.

"Kenny wants to talk..."

"About what?"

"I don't know... And I think it's better if I don't know... Can't drag him into this until I solve everything..."

Marcia began to glare at me, "You're really starting to piss me off, you know?"

"Eh...?"

"You just heard that the strange being living inside of you might be the reason you were forced to leave your home... And you didn't even react!! And now you friend... The one you called your best friend, might want to fix things up with you after he abandoned you, and you still act like you don't even care!??"

I wasn't understanding what her issue was, "What do you want from me??"

"Lance!!" she yelled while sitting on the bed and grabbing my shoulders, "GET ANGRY!!!"

"W- What!!??"

"Life isn't just about accepting hardships and trying to move on!! It's also about knowing when to fight these hardships and make things better for you!!"

"What are you talking about...?"

"Don't you get it yet?? It's not just the dragons!! Other people have wronged you too!! Termina took possession of you when you were barely able to walk! Your parents took you away from home without even asking you what you wanted! Your best friend abandoned you right when you needed him the most! And right now, everyone thinks that you are some kind of beast that needs to be killed!!

Even me!! When I just dropped all my frustration on you, you didn't even try to defend yourself! You just keep standing there never trying to fight back at any injustice that falls on your lap!!"

"That's- That's because I can see where everyone is coming from... It not like their actions don't make sense... Termina just wanted to survive, my parents probably just wanted to keep me safe, and Kenny was just scared... Anyone would do the same in their places..."

"It's not about whether or not it makes sense!! It's about how you never try to fight for your side of the story!!

You never said 'I don't deserve to be abandoned! I don't deserve to be ignored! I don't deserve to be used!!' Why won't you fight for yourself??"

"F- Fight for myself...?"

"You're important too!! Your happiness matters too!! Don't just accept everything whit a smile on your face!! If your friend wants to talk, at least answer him just so you can scream at him for leaving you behind to die!!"

"..."

"Just why... Why can't you feel angry at your own pain??"

My body moved by itself and picked the phone to call Kenny back.

It wasn't like the other times when Termina controlled me, I simply had such a huge urge to respond to Marcia's feeling that I couldn't think of anything else.

Maybe she was right. Maybe I had been letting everyone walk all over me too much.

I keep complaining about all the things that happen to me... But I also keep just accepting them saying things like 'I guess it can't be helped...'

But it can be helped! I can change things and make them better if I try.

I don't know what Kenny wants but I know that at the end of the day, I did nothing wrong to him. The dragon attacked the school because he was after me, but that was completely out of my control.

If we were to really stop being friends, I wanted to at least let him know my side of the story!

The phone finally picked up and I prepared to finally talk with my friend again, "Kenny...?"

{...}

"Look, Kenny... I know you must be very confused right now, but I have something that I want to say-"

{Good evening...}

My body instantly froze.

That voice didn't belong to Kenny. Nor did it belong to any member of his family. His father, his brother... None of them!

It was a deep chilling voice, like a knife being pressed against your chest.

I could sense that boiling anger appearing again as Termina began to get agitated inside of me.

[Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill-] she continued to repeat over and over again.

And if Termina was angry... There could only be one reason...

"Who... Is this...?"

{Nice to meet you... Is this the host of the terminal being?}

There was a dragon in Kenny's house.