What am I to you?

Cassadrei's POV

I don't know why I felt so irritated as I sat down on the river banks and stared at the rippling waves. Usually, this sight helped me calm my nerves, but today was somewhat different. I felt my nerves jittering from some sort of electrical energy, my mind was hyperalert and do as if might, I couldn't calm myself. 

I took a deep breath, remembering the dictum to inhale slowly, wait 3 counts and then exhale. I continued to do it for a few more counts, and the shivering in my hands started to reduce a bit, my pulse slowed and I tried to think more clearly. 

I had failed in being a good enough daughter, that much has always been clear. Now, I have even failed at being a good friend to Mike, he had seemed so much more comfortable with Genia whom he had met only a few days ago.