I can't

Cassadrei's POV

My room felt like a prison. The sweltering heat of the island combined with the increased moisture provided little comfort to me today. It was already summer, I thought. Nearly four months have passed since we came here, the turn of a season, the falling of old leaves giving way to newer ones. 

I lay in my cot, hands resting over my temples, deeply burrowed in my thoughts. All my anger, my desperation and my gloom had evaporated like sweat on a summer day, giving rise to a single thing..Confusion. 

Cookie was perched on the floor beside me, hunting a rat he had recently discovered. It was quite amazing how he continued to be swayed by such apparently trivial matters, deriving joy from the rather mundane stuff. Not for the first time, I longed to be like him. Carefree and unabandoned, living my life without a boulder sticking to my foot and holding me down.