Screaming Confessions

'Awkward, if defined by a dictionary, would be the feeling of embarrassment but on the other hand, when actually applied to real-life situations would be the feeling of regret for doing something just because one couldn't stop oneself from doing it.'

Feeling a pang of regret, Szeina emptied her can of soda before crumpling it with her bare hands.

Yvann's idea of home was a beach. The drive was brief, but he did not speak a word after they left the school premises.

Salty air whipped her hair back and forth, the distant sound of the waves lapped peacefully from afar.

Leaning against the hood of his car, the place was silent. Shining above them, the moon sat together with the company of the stars, whose twinkling were nonstop.

Throwing away her crumpled soda can, Szeina didn't hear it land anywhere.

"You're littering."

Szeina turned to Yvann. His attention was focused on the vast darkness that lay in front of them.

"This coming from someone who couldn't even play Romeo properly."

Yvann chuckled. Surprised to hear him laugh with no hint of his other personality, Szeina smiled to herself.

"Alright, I think I should pick that up. I can't be caught red-handedly littering the beach with my trash."

Pushing her feet to search for her crumpled can, Szeina used her phone's light to help her find it.

A few distances away from their position, she spotted it. Immediately, she crouched and picked it up.

Triumphantly waving the trash in the air to show Yvann that she found her litter, Szeina managed to see him smile.

She run back to him and presented the crumpled piece of what used to be her soda.

"Happy?" she exclaimed, catching her breath.

"Depends on how happy we're talking about here."

"Oh," a resounding silence followed her comment.

Seating on the hood of his car, Szeina fumbled with the can in her hand, her thoughts going back to yesterday.

"I've been meaning to ask," she began. "What was up with you? I mean, during English class? You took me by surprise."

Somewhat relieved that she didn't ask him regarding the recent odd behavior, Yvann inserted his hands inside his jeans pockets.

"Just a regular high school student having a bad day."

"So you decided it was nice to begin an argument?"

"Judge me all you want. But, you know nothing about what I'm going through."

Szeina shook her head.

"Right, I can say the same about you. You know nothing about me too."

Turning his attention to her, Yvann looked at Szeina in the eye.

"The amount of my frustrations would surprise you."

Szeina hopped down and got on her feet, facing Yvann.

"Frustrations? I'm pretty sure your frustrations are nothing compared to mine."

The tension between the two of them suddenly spiked. With no Mrs. Avery to stop them, it began to escalate.

"Oh? Then can you imagine needing to prove yourself that you are worth your father's time and attention without looking too desperate for it?"

"At least you have a family. Your biological family. I never even met my parents." Szeina immediately countered.

"Isn't that even better? You don't have to feel worthless and out of place in your own household."

Szeina laughed sarcastically.

"Better?! How is that better when all this time, you keep wondering why did your own family abandon you? There must be something wrong with you for that to happen!"

"At least you don't feel like a failure in front of your parents. My mother died when I was eight. My father remarried and now I'm nothing but an outsider in my own house. Could you even begin to imagine what that feels like? You can't!"

"You're right, I can't." Szeina pointed a finger at his chest. "I'm not in your shoes and you're not in mine. I had to move away and leave everything behind because the people who used to believe in me accused me of a heinous crime. My best friend died and everyone blamed me for it. Can you imagine how that feels like? You can't!"

Szeina thought she had the last words. It was only when she contemplated on Yvann's unreadable expression that she came to realize what she just said.

"I think that's enough."

Feeling dejected and knowing she already expressed herself too much, Szeina merely nodded.

Without a second glance, she went inside his car and waited for him to do the same.

Silence followed them inside Yvann's car. The tension between them vanished and was now replaced by something else.

"Szeina."

Szeina immediately shook her head in response. When she spoke, her voice was no louder than a whisper.

"Let's forget this night happened. It never happened."

Yvann looked at her helplessly.

Nodding his agreement, he had the engine rev to life, enveloping what he thinks would be the longest drive he had in an uncomfortable silence.

--

Yvann found himself staring at Szeina's retreating form. She walked the short path lined with bushes and a few trees leading towards the two-story house.

It was an enormous two-story, and Yvann didn't have to ask what that meant. Even though she wasn't with her biological family, she was well off.

They turned most of the lights in the big house on. He waited for her to get inside the house safely before revving his car's engine to life once more.

However, despite the luxurious mansion in front of him, he couldn't get her words out of his mind.

Shantel Academy was the best school there was.

When some students heard of where the new student came from, curiosity arose among them.

Yvann was not excused from those who wanted to know why she was moving from the best school to the second best.

Surely, there was a scandalous reason behind it.

Learning about it tonight, Yvann concluded it was nowhere near scandalous. Rather, it was tragic.

She was right.

His frustrations were nothing compared to hers. And yet, here she was, starting in a new school.

That must have taken a whole lot of courage.