2.07 ARTIFICIAL LOVE: Light Buzz

Lee Beomseok needs a moment. No scratch that, he needs more than just a moment. He needs an entire century to process what's unfolding right now.

Kang Siwoo goes to order bubble tea, only to return to ramble to Beomseok about random things in his life. Beomseok does a double-take, triple-take and he's on his n-take and things still aren't making sense.

Dude.

"…And so this coordi-noona keeps trying to buy me gifts and it starts getting really awkward amongst the staff. I mean, you know that this is a big no-no right? Anyways, I think she started getting worried about losing her position at the job, and guess what she did the next day—"

Beomseok needs to put an end to this so he does. Quite harshly, in fact. "Kang Siwoo." His tone is sharp, biting even and Kang Siwoo jumps, his eyes widen like he's a puppy at attention, waiting to be scolded. His mask is now pulled down to his chin, matching Beomseok's, with a bubble tea cradled between pale fingers. He's fucking adorable, and Beomseok is doing his utmost to ignore the fact.

Dammit…! Beomseok feels bad but he has to put his foot down. "What do you think you're doing?"

Kang Siwoo bats his lashes at me and Beomseok almost goes, 'oh no you don't' because as much as he wants to tell Siwoo that trick won't work, it will definitely work at making Beomseok soft. "I…I'm just chatting to Beomseok-ssi. Is that bad?" He's doing the whole puppy-dog pouty thing which makes Beomseok narrow his eyes even though his heart is about to explode.

"Well, no shit," Beomseok deadpans. "Are you forgetting something important here? I don't know something about me being a fan, you being an idol and us, being strangers? Look, I wasn't born yesterday and you're lucky I'm not some creep that's going to try taking advantage of you but—"

"Hm," Kang Siwoo cuts him off with a nod, "That's right, Beomseok-ssi isn't a creep."

"Kang Siwoo!" he scolds with a hiss, trying not to incite stares. "Look, I'm thankful. And seriously, thank you for bringing back my phone and…being you. Ugh, fuck this is awkward." He grumbles, hand rubbing the back of his neck and looks away. Beomseok can't believe that he's doing this but he is. It's too late now, so he continues, "It was an honor to meet you and all that. Sorry, I'm not great with words—"

"I don't care," Siwoo says. Beomseok is starting to pick up on that habit of Siwoo's where he cuts people off when he's excited. "I'll take any praise I can get. You don't need to be a poet, Beomseokie."

Since when did he become Beomseokie!?

Lee Beomseok is going to go bald, he can just feel it.

"Kang. Si. Woo. Listen for two damn seconds, would you?" And seriously, he doesn't even know how he's talking to his idol like this, hissing and leaning over the poor cafe table, one finger pointing accusingly. "Stop this bullshit! For your own damn safety and my mental health."

"Your mental health…?" Kang Siwoo frowns, "What did I do? How can I make it better? I swear I don't mean to make you upset—"

The way he rambles is almost frantic and Beomseok has never seen this side of Kang Siwoo before. He doesn't NEED to see this side of Kang Siwoo, because they are idol and fan. Not friends.

But he feels bad because the person before him right now isn't his idol, it's just the human being that's called Kang Siwoo and Beomseok has to reel in his racing heart.

He runs a hand through his hair and there's a grimace on his face. "You didn't do anything. But you also shouldn't be approaching fans like this. You're just lucky I'm me and I'm a cool guy who understands boundaries." He tries his best to keep himself calm.

Kang Siwoo looks down and scrutinizes his bubble tea like the poor thing had wronged him, "But you're not—" He stumbles over his words, unable to finish.

Beomseok's heart sinks. He feels bad. And he's terribly soft for this person. With a long sigh, he shakes his head, "It's okay. Look, just don't do it again, okay?"

Siwoo nods meekly and Beomseok goes easy on the guy, even though Siwoo is supposed to be the hyung out of the two of them. But when their drinks are done, Beomseok bids his farewells without looking back. Siwoo doesn't get much of a chance to protest because his managers turn up and escort the wayward idol away.

It's only when Beomseok gets home and in the privacy of the bedroom does he finally let out a high-pitched girlish screech.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE."

He plunges into his mattress and wrestles with his pillow much as a dog would. There's no one to judge him in his privacy. No one but himself. But for once, Beomseok cuts himself some slack because who even gets to meet and interact with their idol like that? He's allowed to freak the fuck out.

He got way more than the one-minute fansign he was supposed to get, dammit! And Kang Siwoo treated him so…

So…

Was intimately the wrong word? It has to be the wrong word. Beomseok lays splayed on his bed. He stares listlessly at his ceiling because nothing is making sense. His heart races in his chest like a rabbit in flight and he just can't make sense of what happened.

Nothing, a bleaker part of his mind hisses at him. Nothing happened.

That's right because he will just move on from this incident like it was nothing.

A frown graces Beomseok's lips as he soaks up the thought.

After fortune, comes misfortune.

Shit.

If something this monumentally good happens in his life, there's only a matter of time before something terrible happens to him!

The paranoia sinks its claws into Beomseok's mind. And Beomseok, like the melodramatic bitch that he is, flies into a panic. God bless Siwoo for returning his phone because he's in terrible need of a friend to rant to.

When he tries to call Dayoung however, he's rudely refused.

A Kakao message comes not long after.

[ sorry, still on my shitty date zzzzz pae groups second son is a fuckin dumbass lol help me T.T ]

Beomseok frowns at his phone. So Kim Dayoung's a chaebol after all, he thinks absently, she has to be when she's getting set up with some big shot from the Pae group.

[ cant hlp not when im having a fking mental breakdown righnow ] Beomseok types in a fury.

[ oh? What's up? Lemme know all your crazy shit cuz I'll take any distraction over this guy right now xD ]

Beomseok doesn't hesitate to take the invitation and lets the floodgates open. He bombards her with a million and one messages with excessive details about the events that happened after she left.

She's just as flabbergasted as he is and who can blame either of them?

However, that's not even the point. Beomseok recalls why he even panicked and wanted to talk to her in the first place.

[ i'm doomed, noona. i'm so fucking doomed. ]

[ oh god ] she messages, [ don't tell me its another one of your doomsday prophecies =.=;; ]

Beomseok makes a face at his phone. She doesn't have to word it like that, dammit, but she's right. It's totally one of his doomsday prophecies and Beomseok knows that he probably just sounds insane to other people but he can't help it!

[ shut up. you know why this freaks me out ]

Even in text form, he can practically hear her sigh,

[ ya ya I GET IT but like, I just need you to not freak out so much ok? ]

He knows that her words come from a good place, that she just doesn't want him to stress over anything, but they just serve to irritate him more. With a scowl, he tosses his phone aside and decides that it's not worth it.

Beomseok is left with no one to sulk with but himself. And some alcohol. He belatedly recalls his stash in the fridge and props himself up, eagerly wading into the kitchen to search for his fridge.

Oh sweet, sweet liquor, always so reliable at chasing away his ails. He pulls a beer out of the bridge and downs it one go. Before long he's reaching for the 4th and then 6th and he's not going to get drunk on some cheap ass shit beer but the light buzz is welcome.

"I'm fucked," he laughs to himself, slumped over on the living room couch. The apartment could use a bit of tidying but he's lazy as shit. "I'm so fucked."

He takes another swig but is left with disappointment because there's nothing left. Beomseok settles with a cigarette.

But there's nothing to do now, except wait for his impending doom and whatever karma, fate, destiny, or whatever the world has set out for him.

Because he just cannot fathom something good happening without something else, equally as shitty.