THE 10TH ACCOUNT: I LOVE HIM... NOT! 3

As the days passed by as we sailed to Sirumaha, I found it harder and harder to deal with Monika. Each time I tried to ignore her, she would do something to get my attention. Sometimes, she would purposely laugh out loud so I could look in her direction, or she would call my name. Monika's voice is so melodious but because she aggravates me, I find it grating. Every time I hear her voice, I frown. Because of her, Jacob and I have not gotten a chance to talk. I sighed. How I wish that we reach Sirumaha sooner before I lose my sanity.

"We're almost to Sirumaha. Tomorrow, we will enter its territory," I looked up and saw Neville. He sat beside me, "Feels like Iwahi again?"

Ugh! I massaged my temples. I understood what he was implying. "I am NOT jealous, Neville," I replied without a smile.

"Are you having a headache?" he asked again.

I wrinkled my nose. "Yes! I could barely sleep because of Monika. She talks and talks and talks at night."

"Would you rather that he rooms with Jacob?" he asked and chuckled.

I groaned, "Neville, please. Like it would make any difference. I could easily hear what was going on next door."

Neville laughed and nodded, "I do not think Jacob would agree to it anyways."

My eyebrows met, "What do you mean by that?"

"Well.. you have been sailing with us for quite a while now and you probably have figured out how Jacob is with women…" he began.

"You think…" I told him then grimaced.

Neville laughed again. "However, this time… it was different. The boys did tease that Monika rooms with Jacob… and Jacob being Jacob would usually be amenable with the suggestions… but… this time, he refused," he said then looked at me knowingly.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I looked at him suspiciously.

Neville smiled at me then sighed, "I wonder how long til Jacob gets tired."

"Tired of what?" I asked again. Neville's words were enigmatic to me.

"Waiting…" he said mysteriously. He looked at me as if he was studying me and observing how I react.

I looked at him, more confused than ever, "Waiting for what?"

Neville smiled, "You know Paco told me that when Jacob is in love, he practices such self control."

I know Neville is trying to explain something to me but I am getting more and more frustrated because I do not get it. "What do you mean by self-control?"

Neville sighed defeatedly. "Darling... you see... men have urges…" he paused and looked at me.

I scrunch my forehead some more, "Urges what urges? I do not understand what you are trying to say here."

Neville stood up. "Never mind. Just remember, I think Jacob is in love. He's practicing tremendous self control, that's why," he said and walked away.

I was left trying to solve the pieces of the puzzles that Neville left. Jacob is in love that is why he is practicing self control? Is that what he was trying to say? Just thinking about him in love made me blush. My heart began to beat faster. Who is he in love with? Self-control??? He's practicing self-control… Neville said usually Jacob would room with women but he refused Monika… I felt a pang in my heart upon making a realization. Did he refuse to room with Monika because he was practicing self control with her? Did he fall for Monika? Is he in love with her?

My bias aside, Monika is an admirable woman… exotic… feisty… and brave. She knows what she wants. She's confident and very approachable. Who would not fall in love with her?

I heard her laughter once more so I turned to their direction. Monika was trying to flirt with Jacob but I could tell that he was truly keeping his distance. However, his smile does look different. It was sincere. He was truly enjoying Monika's presence.

Paco told Neville that Jacob was in love before? I closed my eyes and held my breath. For some reason, my chest got tighter as if my heart became heavier. I wonder who she was. I opened my eyes and saw Jacob tucked in a strand of hair behind Monika's ears. He smiled at her again and she giggled. I looked away. Has he already forgotten THAT night?

I heard steps coming in my direction so I turned to it. Monika sat beside me. She checked her nails. "I love this crew. I love this ship. Makes me want to leave Sirumaha forever," she told me with her usual teasing voice.

I did not respond. My heart was still aching and I do not know the reason why. It was becoming harder and harder to breathe. This time, I do not have any strength to talk back.

Monika chuckled after studying my expressions, "We will be in Sirumaha tomorrow. It's beautiful there. The government is not something to be thrilled about but our race… the nomadic gypsies… we are free. We abide by our own rules and we travel all of Sirumaha."

I looked at her and could see the twinkle of her eyes as she talked about her origin and the place of her birth. "Would you exchange it for Labyrinth?" I managed to ask, hopeful that she would not.

Monika looked at me again and smirked, "What do you think?"

I looked down. I just want her to leave Labyrinth. But, that was not a very nice thing to say so I kept my silence.

"Oh by the way, Captain Jacob is teaching me how to fire a gun this afternoon," she teased me again.

I nodded my head. Maybe it is about time I concede to her? "I see…" I replied quietly, almost a whisper.

She chuckled as a response and then stood up, "How clueless can you get, Darling?" she said and flipped her hair then headed back to Jacob who smiled at her right away.