Goblinsville #3

"Careful, hosers. That guy one-shots us." Gordon backed away slowly. Earlier, Lee had punched the squeaker for fortnight dancing, proving that PVP was very much enabled.

"Alright, he's asleep. Do you think he's after you guys?" I scratched my chin.

"It's impossible for a player to have hit that level already. He's probably one of the Agent's dudes." Craig showed a rare moment of clarity.

Why would the Agent need to punish morons in a game that lets you kill NPCs?

As the human raid boss snored, we took the opportunity to tiptoe around him.

Gordon was right.

We weren't at the point where we could specialize. Therefore, none of us were tanks, meaning we won't last long. Strangely enough, the human raid boss couldn't either, as he was a retarded villager too. He had the sexiest stats I had ever seen, but they were unfocused and unusable, as expected from a base class. Besides, he was unsettlingly human. It's as if someone tried to pass off a sociopathic mannequin as a Messiah, wearing our tattered adventurer rags.

Or, you know, like a mayor who kissed babies a bit too much.

We crept. As we were almost in the clear, the underground shook. Clumps of debris almost killed Craig, who had a large hitbox. Instead of raining men, the abyssal underworld bukkaked us with muddy and dense sediment, threatening to money-shot us out of existence.

First, a lance pierced the ceiling, then an angel came down, driving it into the sleeping guy's heart. Then, seeing us, she mouthed a simple word. Run.

Then, the human raid boss just laughed. It was the special kind, like your crush making fun of the size of your pecker. Her white and brown feathers became engulfed by red lightning, and the ground quaked in anticipation.

It was a scene from the end of the world. The fear and rage in her eyes. His glee.

We bolted the fuck out of there.

I had never left the house much, and I don't claim to have seen much of the real world. But that angel's beauty makes one want to stop running for his life. But I like living, I think.

I questioned the higher mysteries. Maybe it was the skimpy armor, the blond hair, and ruby eyes; wow, that sounded basic, but seeing it in front of you was a wholly different feeling, like an old oil painting of the rapture. Come to life.

"Check this out" The squeaker kneeled to catch his breath. We were finally a distance away from the rumbling. He then pawed through the dirt and found a human skull.

"난 바보 같아" Lee shook his head in shame. Then, he opened his menu and pulled out a leather map upside down. He quickly flipped it, then showed us where we were.

Uncharted territory, Player-Kill Gorge.

Current death toll: 103.