Crocodile dundee

Wordlessly, we cosplayed the world's shittiest matadors, encircling Croco, the all-devouring, as we now called him. The future Tiffany handbag swaggered side to side. It let out a deep yawn before lunging for Sergei, who dived for cover like his life depended on it.

"Over here, you fat reptile!" I boasted, thrashing my whip. I still had my coroner's blade and other burial tools from this morning, so I threw them at it.

"Ennui, you fucking idiot!" Sergei screamed. Through no fault of mine, His left shoulder had intercepted my blade. He did that incoherent howl-and-dance my uncle did whenever the stock market crashed.

"Oh, shit!" I winced. Meanwhile, Croco, the all-devouring, was still chained to its sled. It thrashed about, unable to attack us.

Then I remembered.

My grandmother had this huge pickup truck back in the day. Damn thing drank the lifeblood of three deep sea oil rigs and took up four lanes of traffic, but it was invincible. When my uncle inherited it after my relatives stuffed her into a retirement home, he added a lift kit and became king of the town. Heightened by his hubris, he made it taller and taller until low-flying aircraft flew beneath it.

One day some kids wanted to know if the truck was still indestructible, so they threw pebbles. Instantly, the fucking thing keeled over and smashed itself into the local ice cream shop...

"Go for the legs," I yelled, cracking my whip. We kited the lv54 crocodile, dodging its biting and hitting it in the knees. Sergei lost a part of his cloak, but after an hour, it rolled over.

We hissed at it, and it meekly got back in line.

"I can't believe we only did 18 damage to it," Sergei muttered after returning to the road. The average crocodile had 89 health, while the All-Devourer had 5459.

"How did it get so strong?" I pondered.

He was certainly nearly harmless this morning. The only difference was that Croco ate more of his friends. Curious, I checked the stats of the others. 89, 89, 89, 884, 89, 1553.... the cannibals were significantly stronger.

"Hey Ennui, I realized something." Sergei had the same.

"Yeah... the Imitator is one of us"