Mind Bond

"Come here." he said, and reached out for me. 

"I just want to hug you and not think about anything."  He pulled me into his arms. 

"You are like medicine for my aching heart." He murmured into my hair.  "When I was holding you like this at night on our travels, I'd pretend to myself that you were mine and nobody else's.  It helped keep me sane in this crazy world we live in."

I listened to his sweet words and suddenly realized his body was shaking as he choked back sobs.  I tightened my grip on him and inhaled the sad aura that he exuded. 

Tentatively, I reached out with my mental probing, just as I had done with Corwin earlier in the evening. 

The difference this time was that I was prepared for the onslaught of wild seething emotions that raged under the façade of the calm, cool wizard. 

What I found was completely unexpected. 

Underneath Connor's happy-go-lucky mask was a sad and lonely child quivering in a darkened corner, wanting and needing to love and be loved. 

My heart swelled with emotion and I felt at once an intense sadness for that poor lonely child within him, but also elated that I was there to be the one to embrace that little boy and share my loving energies with him. 

I poured into him all the emotional strength that he needed, and I was surprised that the well of emotion within me had no depth until I realized that I was drawing it from an endless source beyond my tiny little self. 

I held nothing back.  I let him have it all, as much as he could handle. 

You don't have to pretend that I'm yours.  Here I am.  I sent out that thought into his mind, willing him to hear and understand my intent. 

"Thank you," he whispered, after a long while.

"For what?"

"For saving my spirit."

"Not looking for gratitude here," I winked.  "Just a kiss."

Connor laughed at my choice of words.  He nodded and bent down to kiss me. 

Remembering what he said about keeping my eyes open, I tried my best to do so, but was once again, taken aback as I stared into his face. 

His eyes were closed.

Are you really mine?  Really, truly mine?  I heard someone asking in my mind. 

I frowned, trying to discover where the voice was coming from, even as his lips kept teasing me. 

Stop frowning.  I can't kiss lips that are pouting like that.

"Connor?"  I gasped, pulling away to stare into his twinkling blue eyes.

He laughed and pulled me to him.  "Ah!  I can't believe you actually did that.  I'm so amazed by you, and I'm so grateful that you would give me such a precious gift."

I shrank.  "Wh-what gift?"

"Mind-bonding."  He stared at me, "You—we…we mind-bonded just now.  Don't tell me you forgot already."

"Oh.  Is that what it is?"

Connor gave a short burst of incredulous laughter.  "Are you trying to mess with my mind?  Why are you trying to deny that you mind-bonded with me?"

"I'm not denying anything.  I just didn't know what it was.  I just…" I cast my mind to find the right words so that he would not misunderstand me. 

"It was instinctive.  I wasn't trying to do anything inappropriate."

"It's only inappropriate if you didn't truly love me and was only intruding into my mind to exploit or hurt me mentally. 

And believe me, Sweetheart.  You can't fake love in a mind-bonding because I can see into your mind just as much as you can see into mine."

"How was I able to see into your mind?"  I asked, confused at the whole situation.

"I let you in." He shrugged.  "I felt your mental touch and, because I trusted you not to hurt me, I opened up." 

And now that we have mind-bonded completely , we can share each other's mind-waves.  I heard his mind whispering into mine.

Really?  Can you hear me?  I questioned into his eyes. 

Loud and clear, darling.  Ready for the last lesson?

What lesson?

There is one more.  Trust me. 

Reaching out, he took my left hand with his right and placed it against his chest.  I could feel the rhythmic beating of his heart. 

"Feel my heart's rhythm?" he whispered.  I nodded and he continued.  "Now, try to match your heartbeat to mine."

"How…I don't know how to do that."

"You can do it.  Trust me.  All mages have the ability to control their own bodies.  It requires some practice, but it is doable."

I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling around within my senses to the muscles of my heart.  How does one go about controlling it?  I had no clue.  I only knew that he had exerted control over his heart so that it thumped a slow and steady rhythm. 

I laughed as I realized Connor was, in effect, giving me a kindergarten heart beat to follow. 

Connor's eyes crinkled with gentle amusement as he heard in his mind what had caused my laughter, and then he tightened his grip on my hand. 

Focus, Nana.  Try again.

I took a deep breath and then tried to slow my breathing down so I could regulate my heartbeat. 

It pitter-pattered for a moment, running away from my attempt to wrestle it, but then, my mind calmed and I slowly steered it towards the same pace as Connor's constant steady beating heart. 

It was difficult.  My heart kept trying to jump the gate, and often fell out of beat, but I kept trying. 

I wasn't sure how long I stood there, concentrating on my heart beat, but finally, Connor patted my head. 

"That's good enough for now.  Relax and breathe normally."

I opened my eyes.  "It was hard, Connor, but I think I matched your heart beat—sometimes!"  I boasted.

"Yes you did, and with practice, you will get better and better until finally, you will be able to control your heart rate with no effort at all."

"Why do I need to do this?"  I asked.

"Because this is one of the three ways for two people to become one. 

If you can match all of your lover's bio-rhythms,  you will be able to physically join in a manner that is at a far deeper level than possible with just basic, barebones sex coupling…"  He blushed and looked away, embarrassed at what his words conveyed.

"I—I'm not sure I understand." 

"Well, sexual coupling without matching each other's bio-rhythms doesn't allow a person to know what level of arousal his partner has reached." 

He rubbed his head in frustration. "It's easier for me to demonstrate than it is to explain in words."

He looked away, blushing. "But basically, without connecting at the bio-rhythm level, it's closer to mutual masturbation than an actual physical-bonding." 

He glance back at me.  "I wouldn't have to ask you if you were sexually excited.  I would know immediately from the rhythm of your heart and the actions of your other body rhythms." 

Something flared deep in his eyes and I suddenly felt a bit out of my depths.