Double Love

When a wizard tells you to move, you move!

If you don't move quickly enough, you get physically hauled out, whether you want to go or not. 

No matter how many times this happened to me, it still surprised me.   

After we parted ways with Simon and Tarzan, at my request, we headed towards the Boardwalk full of people and noise. 

This far away from the Academy, I wanted to see the sights, and the twins accommodated my request even though Corwin truly wanted to discuss something serious between the three of us.

Since I was well aware what the subject matter was going to be, I dallied as long as I could, browsing through the shops and pawing through the trinkets. 

At the twins' behest, I bought a couple of floral print dresses and a large-brim hat to combat the sun and heat on my skin. 

On the way out to the check out counter, Connor added a bottle of tropical flower perfume which he said smelled like me, only more flowery. 

Corwin also threw in a large pair of dark sunglasses and a bottle of sunblock so that I wouldn't have to squint so much in the sunshine and my skin wouldn't burn. 

Since they were so accommodating, I thought all was well, so I did what all self-respecting girls would do on such a bright and beautiful day with two hot guys next to me. 

I dragged them all over the shops.     

It was past noon by the time Corwin put a stop to the endless browsing. 

He'd had enough. 

The sun was high in the sky, and the heat was starting to get oppressive, even for me, but I was trying to stall for more time. 

I truly did not want to get into the nitty gritty of what Corwin wanted to discuss because I knew he was spoiling for a fight with Connor.

"Nana, you've gone through ten shops and looked at hundreds of hair clips and earrings," Corwin sighed.  "Buy something and let's go."

I looked at Connor, who avoided my eyes and pretended serious interest in a tiny pink jewelry box sitting next to all the costume jewelry on the display queue. 

I could tell he was just as bored with the shopping as Corwin was, but was trying to delay as long as possible, the 'talk' that Corwin kept pushing for. 

"Well, you know, I haven't bought anything for you and Connor yet.  How about we get this—" 

Before I could get the words out of my mouth, I felt myself being levitated two inches off the floor and physically hauled out the door by a very agitated wizard. 

"Wait!  I see a really pretty shade of pink lipstick over there that I want!" 

Connor saw the tube I pointed to, threw a large bill onto the counter and grabbed it along with the pink jewelry box.  He was done with shopping too.

Meanwhile, Corwin was no longer even trying to pander to my tiny whims.  His only objective was to get us the hell out of the crowd and the noise and the bright colors of the shops. 

Connor followed behind us carrying my bags and trying to keep a straight face.  How in the world could someone be so reluctant and relieved, all at the same time, I could not fathom, but that was what Connor's energy waves exuded.   

When Corwin got us away from the throng of vacationers in bikinis and swim trunks, he picked me up and sat me down on a stone seawall so that I was facing him, with my back to the ocean. 

At this height, I was able to look directly into his eyes without having to crane my neck upwards. 

Connor joined him and there we were, the three of us, with the sun shining down on the world below and the gusty warm sea wind blowing all around us. 

The earth, the sky, and the ocean—all were edging us onward to what had to be said and what had to be felt.

"You know what I want to say."  Corwin spoke to the space between all of us, not directing the conversation at either me or Connor. 

"Do I have to say the words?"

I stared at him, and then I stared at Connor.  Then I shook my head and looked away. 

"Nana," Corwin's eyes grew alarmed.  "Why are you shaking your head?" 

He turned me so that I faced him again.  "What are you saying 'no' to?  Are you rejecting me?"

Connor sucked in a lungful of air.  "Baby, don't scare me like that."

They both grabbed my hands, and I could see the auras of panic swirling around them like a cloud of fog setting in, bringing gloom and doom to everything it touched. 

"I'm not rejecting you and I'm not trying to scare you." I looked at each of them in turn.  "I just--I don't know what to do." 

I was truly not sure what I should say that would defuse the situation and allow peace to reign for yet another day.

"Sweetheart, we have mind-bonded.  I know how you feel," Connor insisted.  "You can't tell me you don't love me because I know it's not true and I won't accept it."

Corwin raised an eyebrow.  "So you are confirming the fact that you and she have mind-bonded."

"Yes.  Just as you have confirmed the fact that you and she have soul-bonded."  Connor threw back without hesitation. 

Corwin's eyes reflected an intense sadness and hurt over this exchange, but he looked at me squarely in the eyes. 

"Nana, the same is true with the soul-bond.  There is no way you can tell me you do not love me, because I can feel within the depths of my soul that you do." 

Connor sighed.  "Corwin and I have fought and argued and debated over this for weeks.  We can't resolve this without you."

"Actually, for me, it's been over two years of internal struggling." Corwin's eyes were bleak.  "For the chance of loving you, I've gone down to the wire and come out through the other side, fighting tooth and nail against my own twin." 

Connor nodded.  "We've thrown fire balls at each other!" 

And then he shook his head.  "You're right.  We cannot continue like this.  Even though I am so frightened of what your decision might be, I have to ask that you put an end to it all." 

Connor's eyes brimmed with unshed tears.  "You have to choose between us."

I mulled over that for a moment.  "Why do I have to choose?"

I took a deep breath.

"I refuse to choose!"