Matching Heartbeats

"Corwin.  Put her down!"  Connor yelled.  "Now!" 

Corwin glared at Connor, but he moved my body towards the bed before he plopped me down.

I did not even have a chance to spring back up before Corwin scrambled over and covered me with his body in a lock that left me unable to wiggle even my toes. 

"Stay still, Nana," he murmured into my ear.  "You are starting to panic, and you will end up hurting yourself.  Just stay still for a few minutes." 

"Damn you Corwin.  I am not your puppet!"  I growled.

"No, but what you are is tired, and cranky, and upset at everything and everyone." 

He whispered into my ear.  "I want you to stop fighting me, and calm down.  Panicking is not going to solve anything."

I could barely breathe.  He was so heavy! 

Still, the weight of his body allowed me to quell my terrible fury down to manageable levels.  I closed my eyes and steadied my breathing. 

I could feel Corwin's steady heartbeat, thumping a rhythmic cadence which reminded me of Connor's kindergarten heartbeat which he had used to try to teach me physical-bonding. 

Before I knew it, I had shunted all thoughts to one side and began matching his heart beat with my own. 

Corwin stiffened at the moment when he realized what I was doing, but I didn't care.  I was starting to get the knack of matching heartbeats, and I wanted to see how long I could go. 

He began to speed up his heartbeat. 

At first, it was imperceptible, so it was easy for me to match, but then, it got faster, and I was having a bit of trouble staying with him. 

He was careful to keep his heartbeat steady until I was able to match him before moving onto the next level of speed. 

We kept doing that until I was able to keep up with him, then he brought the tempo down until my heart was pounding in a slow and steady beat. 

And then he lifted himself off me.

"Who taught you physical-bonding?" he asked, looking down at me.

"Connor," I whispered, "but I couldn't really match his heartbeat very well."

"Figures," Corwin grunted and settled himself next to me. 

Connor rolled over to my left and glommed onto me, resting his head on my shoulder.

"She tried," Connor responded, "but the first time was hard for her."

"Did you two…" Corwin cleared his throat.  "Did you two do anything physical other than just  matching your heartbeats?"

"No!"  I cried, ready to spring up again, but the guys were ready for me. 

They both held me down, one on each side, keeping me down with the weight of their bodies.  I struggled for a few minutes until I realized two things. 

First, I was so very weak compared to the physical strength the twins possessed.  I couldn't even match one, let alone both of them. 

Secondly, I was no longer so angry that I felt like choking them.  My fury had flared up and then blown out like a supernova, and now it was smoldering in its final gasping stages. 

The longer I stayed pinned down like that, the more I realized that the twins each had their own heartbeats, and they were not matching. 

In a moment of madness, I wondered if I could match all three of us to the same heartbeat. 

At first, I tried matching to Corwin again, but he was going faster than Connor, so I tried matching to Connor's rhythm. 

Where Corwin was faster, I made him slow down, and where Connor was slower, I made him speed up. 

I kept doing that until I was satisfied that the three of us were beating at one steady beat. 

We were going at it for awhile before they caught onto what I was doing.

"Are you…?"  Corwin choked.

"Yes.  Yes she is!"  Connor chuckled and rolled away from me, breaking the physical heartbeat bond. 

"Ye gads, I can't believe I just physically-bonded with my own brother."

"What's wrong with that?"  I asked.

"That's so freaky!"  Connor laughed. 

"It's like…I don't know.  It's almost like kissing a sibling, or engaging in a homosexual type of contact with your own brother."

"Did I do something wrong?"  I asked, not sure what the problem was.

"No…well, maybe."  Corwin mumbled, his face red with embarrassment. 

"I don't know.  It felt really good, but I don't think it was because of Connor.  I think it's just because I'm lying next to you and you feel good to me."

"Corey's right."  Connor agreed and came back to my side. 

"It feels great to be next to my Baby, even if we're just lying here doing nothing but matching heartbeats."

"You know I'm still mad at both of you."

"Yes, we know."  They both mumbled, but refused to leave my side because they also knew I loved them both and it was only a matter of time before I forgave them.

I sighed.  "What am I going to do with the two of you?" 

Even as I said those words, I realized I truly meant it. 

What in the world was I going to do?  The way things were going, I could no longer deny the serious attraction that had somehow manifest between me and the two wizards. 

More importantly, despite my constant attempts at denying my own feelings, I realized with a sinking heart that my love for both of them had sealed my fate. 

Reaching out, I cupped their faces with my hands and memorized that single sweet moment, locking it away into that safe sacred spot in my mind forever. 

"Baby, please give one of us a chance," Connor pleaded. 

"We're not asking that you have to do anything, but at least allow one of us to win you over."

"And what will happen to the other if I choose one of you?"

"One of us will cry because he will have lost both his love and his brother," Connor exhaled a single desolate breath.

"And the other will cry because he will have lost his brother," Corwin murmured into my ear.

"No one wins then.  Everybody cries, even me." I responded, no emotions coloring my words.

"Why would you cry?"  Connor reached out and touched my hair, caressing it between his fingers.  "You would be with the one you have chosen."

"The one I love and chose would be in pain, crying because he lost his brother." 

"The one I love but could not choose because I'm only allowed one choice, would also be in pain, crying because he lost both me and his brother." 

My eyes welled up with tears at the thought and I was unable to hold back a sob.  "Hurting you both like that would be a stabbing, agonizing pain for me!"