Chapter 18: A Not So Normal Day?
👍 "MY BRAIN:
5%-Names
3%- Phone Numbers
2%- Stuff I Should Know For School
90%- Song Lyrics "
-Unknown 👍
⚠️ Warning: Please Proceed With Caution! This chapter may contain alot of Violence, Disturbing Details, and/or Mental Illnesses/Disorders!!! Unexplainable things may happen within this chapter!!!! Disturbing Details and Nightmare Will Be Contained In This Chapter!!!! SOME SELF-HARMING WILL BE CONTAINED IN THIS CHAPTER AND WILL BE VERY DETAILED!!!!! Please Be Advised And Proceed With CAUTION!!!⚠️
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💖" Max's POV "💖
🤧" First Period "🤧
💀" Same Day "💀
I sit in the next to the same quiet girl as always. I'm just staring down at my sketch book right now thinking of the nightmare.
This nightmare wouldn't get outta my head. Normally I'm able to push my nightmare into the back of my head to where I can just think about them later on today. Most likely when I'm in the shower, but for some reason, this one wouldn't leave me alone.
Right now I wish I didn't exist. I wish that I was just nothing. Right now, I wish I was dead.
To be honest with you, I've never really felt alive. I mean yeah, I have my moments when I feel alive just rarely.
I look up from my sketch book and look around the room. The very back row lights are off but the rest of the lights are on which still gives us enough light to see.
Today's subject of what to draw is projected up on the screen in front of the class. We have to draw something similar to it.
I don't know what the hell you'd call it, it seems like a doodle to me but it's whatever.
The drawing basically is a line drawing of a hand holding a rose. I honestly can't find it in me to think of what to do. I don't wanna draw the exact same thing but at the same time I can't think to figure out what I'm going to draw.
I guess I'll just draw it. I don't really have any other choice. I think to myself as I start to draw it.
It takes me about 10 minutes and I'm finished with it. I lay my head down on my desk and wait for class to be over, which seems to be not that long cause not even a few minutes later the bell rings.
I sigh and put my things away. When I'm done I get up and start to walk towards the door where the teacher stands. I show her my drawing and she nods dismissing me.
I start to walk to my next class without paying any attention to where I'm walking. I just blankly walk to my next class.
I make it to my next class, luckily without running or bumping into anyone. I'm seriously not in the mood to get into a fight at the moment.
The bell rings and the teacher walks in as I sit down in the back of the classroom. I look up at the front if the classroom.
The teacher is taking attendance and I'm called on first.
"Max?", the teacher asks and I raise my hand
"Here.", I say weakly and look out the window that's next to me.
Someone puts their hand on my shoulder unexpectedly and I jump. I turn around to see who it was thankfully it was only Scarlet.
"Hey, you okay?", she asks in a whisper, and I give her a weak smile with a nod.
"Yeah, I'm fine.", I tell her back in a whisper, just fixing to look back out the window when she places her hand on my shoulder again.
"Well apparently my definition of 'I'm fine' and your definition of 'I'm fine' is completely different.", she says in a whisper putting air quotes around the words "I'm fine".
"I promise, I'm fine. Don't worry about.", I tell her in a hushed tone and she sighs in defeat.
"I'm not gonna force you to tell me what's wrong I just wanna be able to be there for you when you need it.", she says and I nod.
"And that's fine, but, I don't need anyone's help right now.", I tell her and she nods as her hand drops from shoulder.
⚠️ " TRIGGER WARNINGS: SELF-HARMING, SELF HATE, AND MENTIONS OF ABUSE SCENES WILL BE CONTAINED NOW UNTIL FURTHER NOTICED!!! "⚠️
I hate myself. Why do I hate myself? I have no idea.
I guess it all started when I first started to go to foster homes. One after the other, they all seemed to get worse and worse. The beatings, the yelling, the rape. Everything seemed to get worse and worse each time I'm moved from one place to another.
I don't know if this was just some sick joke to God or what. I don't know if he was even in control of my life or if something else was.
I start to feel the all to familiar burning sensation in my arm. I look down and see that I'm scratching at it.
I try to stop myself but it's like my body has a mind of its own.
I feel like I need to punish myself. Not just mentally but physically too. I feel myself start to slip back into my mind.
Into a world I don't wanna be in.
Into a world of pure torture.
This being my own mind.
⚠️" Triggering Scenes Over "⚠️
😐" Lunch Time "😐
I'm sitting at our usual lunch table. I look around being observant of my surroundings.
I wanna make sure what happened in my nightmare doesn't happen in real life too. These people at this school or "institution" may not be the ideal family but, we're all we have. We have to watch each other's backs.
I'm not saying anyone is weak or anything I'm just saying that we need to make sure to have each other's back.
"Hey.", someone says tapping my shoulder which brings me outta my thoughts and back into reality.
"A not so normal day, huh?", Daisy asks and I sigh pushing my tray away from me then laying head on the table with a nod.
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Quick A/N: Hi all of you beautiful/handsome human beings! I've come baring news! I don't know if it's good news or bad news but it's somewhere in between there.
So, as said before, I was sick and I was just starting feel better towards the end of last week but I've started not to feel to well again. I have really bad cough again but I promise it's not COVID, I haven't been around anyone lately to even get COVID.
Nah, I just think it's cause I ended up getting soaked from rain when I went outside to roll the windows up on my mom's truck and close the trunk of me Jeep Cherokee (it's from 1998) we call it, the eep, cause it's missing the J for to spell Jeep. I don't know what happen to the J that's a mystery in its self. Anyways that besides the point, the point is that I was soaking wet and went back in my house and since our A/C's in the house were on it was freezing. And my stupid self decided oh I'm just gonna lay on the living room couch in soaking wet clothes.
I'm so smart, right?! (Note the Sarcasm!)
Anyways on with the Q/A.
Q/A: What genre of music do you listen to?
Idk just a bunch of random songs tbh.